Merry Christmas!

Christmas is a hard time of year for most prisoners. It means a significant holiday away from your loved ones. Another year of missed memories, and letting down those you love. 

You won't find most prisoner's bulletin boards decorated with holiday cards, or decorations because if they were even remembered and received cards, who wants a reminder of what they're missing? So most of us just avoid watching holiday movies, or listening to Christmas music and we try to treat Christmas like every other day in prison. 

But even so, I think it's important to take time during the holidays to remember the importance of the celebration of the birth of Christ. I'm grateful for the most important gift I've ever received: the gift of Christ. 

So while you're celebrating this holiday season, remember that prisoners aren't the only ones who might find the holidays hard to celebrate. Look for someone who's lonely and brighten their day. Maybe a shut-in, or someone who recently lost a loved one or went through a divorce. Just give them a smile, maybe a plate of cookies, and let them know they are remembered and loved.

From my heart to yours... Merry Christmas!

Chicken Little

Earlier this year an ultra-conservative "christian" radio host claimed that he knew the date the world would end. That date came and went and, lo and behold, the guy claimed he calculated wrong and it was supposed to be later in the year. When that date also came and went his credibility was completely gone. 

In my opinion it was gone the first time he made a similar claim some years back. He isn't the first to claim this special knowledge and he won't be the last.
Nevertheless, hosts of people are holding their breath waiting to see if the Mayans were right when they allegedly claimed the world would end on December 21, 2012.

What surprises me is people's ignorance in believing something the Mayan's didn't claim in the first place. Although I have only a rudimentary understanding of the Mayan issue, I know that December 21, 2012 is the end of a Mayan "epic." The Mayan calendar contained several epics (I forget the exact number) and the epic we're in happens to be at the end of the cycle of epics. Only recently have people claimed that the end of this epic cycle means the end of time. 

Regardless of the proper interpretation of the Mayan calendar  they were undoubtedly a very advanced civilization. But that hardly makes them keepers of the earth's clock.
My mom used to tell me, "Wherever you are, be all there."

So go ahead and plan for the future. You never know when a little preparation could go a long way. 

Learn also from the past and look with skepticism at these claims. 

But above all, just live in the present. Even if the world ends tomorrow, you can still get joy out of today

Are you a Ragpicker?

I just finished reading Og Mandino's "The Greatest Miracle in the World."

I liked his other books better, but this one got me thinking about something. In the book you meet a 'ragpicker' who finds people who have given up on life and helps them find the beauty in life again. 
I started thinking about how it takes compassion to be a ragpicker. It takes empathy to see the hurts of another and to reach out regardless of the potential of being hurt yourself. 

And then something interesting happened.

I began to rationalize why I couldn't be a ragpicker in prison. Compassion is a sign of weakness. And the dregs of society, or dirty rags if you will, in prison don't deserve my compassion. Oh, there are exceptions of course, but by and large, the people I've met in prison are not only imprisoned physically. They are imprisoned in their minds. They are committed to their foolishness with little or no desire to put in the work to change. Simply put, they didn't deserve my compassion.

And then I remembered something.
"While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8)

Christ in me doesn't need to wait for someone deserving to show compassion to, because I was shown compassion without ever deserving it. 

Do you know someone undeserving of compassion? Go out and love them anyway.

A Sacrifice of Thanksgiving

I heard a definition of sacrifice a while back that struck me with the power of its truth:

'Sacrifice is the act of giving up something good now for something better in the future.'

There's so much truth here that can be applied to so many facets of life, but nearly all of them are centered on benefiting the one who does the sacrificing. 

What about when you sacrifice something good now (for yourself  for something better in the future (for someone else)?

What you sacrifice could be fame, fortune, comfort, time, or many other good things. 

Some have even sacrificed their very lives for the future freedom (good) of others.

As Thanksgiving approaches, I'm drawn to thinking about sacrifice because Psalms 107:22 talks about making a sacrifice of thanksgiving. 

Why is giving thanks a sacrifice? Perhaps because it is an intentional minimizing of myself in order to magnify another, in this case God. 

Even in prison I have much to be thankful for. I'm thankful for God's faithfulness, His Love, His Grace, and Forgiveness. I'm thankful for many things and I try to maintain an attitude of gratefulness at all times. 

As you carve your turkeys and gather with family, what sacrifice of thanks will you make?

A Day in the Life...

I woke up at 6:30 AM and prepared to go to breakfast. The bathroom was a revolving door of sleepy-eyed men emptying their bladders, washing their faces, and, mercifully, some were even brushing their teeth before possibly sitting across from me at breakfast. Breakfast was oatmeal, whole wheat toast with butter and jelly, and a kid-sized, 4 oz's of orange juice. 

After breakfast I went back to my bunk to watch Charles Stanley from "In-Touch Ministries" in Atlanta Georgia. It's something I enjoy every Sunday from 7-8 AM.From 8-9:15 AM I was at the chapel service where a group of volunteers led worship and preached. What an uplifting service it was! While it's easy to get distracted by the obvious hypocrites who raise their hands in praise at service, but curse their neighbor, steal everything not bolted down, and have a boyfriend the rest of the week, I remember that I was a huge hypocrite myself once (in my own way), and still need work too.

After service, while in the dayroom I heard about the fight that happened at 2:30 AM in the bathroom. Both guys were taken to the hold, and I can't say I'm sorry to see one of them go. The guy telling the story of the fight was very animated and had people laughing. It's amazing to me to see the same people who kicked it with one of the guys yesterday talking bad about him today. So much for loyalty.

Sunday is "spring cleaning" day in our cube. We wash the walls, footlockers, shelves and floor with bleach and disinfectant. Prisoners who have been down a while tend to be fastidious about cleaning. I don't know if it's fear of MRSA or just getting sick. Lunch was scrambled eggs, toast, salad, sliced potatoes, and an orange.

After lunch, I played cribbage for an hour or so. I won some and lost some. While playing I noticed "Joe" hanging around looking forlorn, so I asked if he wanted to go for a walk. We went walking on big yard for over an hour where he shared that today was the anniversary of when his ex-wife killed their son. He said, "I don't know why I'm telling you this. I don't normally talk about it. I guess you're a good listener." Made me feel good. I told him I'd pray for him. He is holding onto an awful lot of hatred. I spent some afternoon time typing some letters and mailing them and then showered and shaved. 

Dinner was baked chicken leg with mashed potatoes and gravy, whole wheat bread and butter, and a chocolate chip cookie. 

Played cribbage after dinner for an hour or so, and found out one of my cribbage partners had his watch stolen off his tv shelf while he slept. He's a "crip" so that wasn't supposed to happen. It shows me that the structure of these organizations is seriously lacking. If he finds out who, it won't be pretty.

Kicked it with my cube-ies for a bit and had some laughs and then watched TV for a couple of hours. The Detroit Tigers got swept by San Fran. Now where's all that talk about "The D"?

Fell asleep much earlier than most of the guys in my unit.

Fueling Your Vision with Passion

When you think of passion it's easy to envision an expression of emotion. It could be anger, excitement, determination, or other emotional expressions. 

But passion is more than expression. Passion is the motivating drive that fuels greatness. Without passion there is no urgency in the fight for a cause, no enthusiasm pushing one through obstacles, no optimism for a positive outcome. 

Passion comes from the heart and manifests itself through emotional expression and unrelenting drive. 

Passion fueled vision doesn't accept a "no." It believes in a future outcome because it works to create it. It makes the person fueled with passion part of the solution rather than part of the problem. 

Passion keeps you going when everyone else would quit.  But can you create passion?

As author Stephen Covey put it, "The key to creating passion in your life is to find your unique talents and your special role and purpose in the world. It is essential to know yourself before you decide what work you want to do."

You have to discover what is knocking at the door of your heart. It's about discovering what is dreaming through you, and having the courage to act on those dreams. 

It might take some serious introspection and self-searching, some serious prayer and probably some trial and error, but discovering who you are and what you bring to the world is essential to creating passion in your life.

(Some content adapted from "The 8th Habit", by Stephen Covey)

Putting your Vision in Motion

I can't seem to shake the feeling of how important having a Vision is in one's life. Stephen Covey defined Vision like this: "Vision is seeing a future state with the mind's eye. Vision is applied imagination." (The 8th Habit, page 70)

Vision and hope go hand-in-hand because Vision represents desire, dreams, hopes, goals and plans. But not in a fantasy sort of way. They are reality not yet realized. 

I explained previously how Vision, Purpose, and Values fit together. Also essential to effectively using Vision in your life are discipline and passion. 

Discipline is essential because it is the execution, the making it happen. It's the sacrifice of doing whatever it takes to make your Vision a reality. People often hear the word "sacrifice" and immediately think of giving up something good. Sometimes it does mean giving up something good. But this personal sacrifice, the process of subordinating today's pleasure for a greater long-term good, is exactly what discipline is all about. 

You might equate discipline with an absence of freedom. In fact, the opposite is true. Only the disciplined are truly free. The undisciplined are slaves to moods, appetites, and passions. Horace Mann once said, "In vain do they talk of happiness who never subdue an impulse in obedience to a principle. He who never sacrificed a present for future good, or a personal to a general one, can speak of happiness only as the blind speak of color."

Much of the time discipline is unpleasant. But people with vision subordinate their dislike of discipline to the strength of their purpose. While Vision is a roadmap, discipline is the vehicle. Next time we'll talk about passion, the fuel that feeds the vehicle. 
(Some content adapted from "The 8th Habit" by Stephen Covey)

Finding Your Voice

One of the most influential books I've ever read was Stephen Covey's "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People."

If you've never read it, I highly recommend you do so. But in the meantime, the 7 habits are:

1. Be Proactive

2. Begin With The End in Mind

3. Put First Things First

4. Think Win/Win

5. Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood

6. Synergize

7. Sharpen the Saw

I recently discovered that Covey wrote a follow-up book titled "The 8th Habit." It's so incredible that I often find what I'm thinking about paralleled in a book I read later. I recently wrote about leaving a legacy, and about pursuing greatness (in the difference made in other's lives) and then I find this book which focuses on going from Effectiveness to Greatness, and finding your voice and inspiring others to find theirs. 

I hadn't really thought of it in this way, but I suppose one of the primary purposes of this blog is to inspire others to find their voice as I am finding mine. 

I hope that as I share what has inspired me, that you will be inspired and make positive changes in your own lives."

Consumerism

Before coming to prison I was part of the ever-changing cycle of consumerism. I'm not sure I was in as deep as some, but I certainly was in deep enough. You know the cycle: As income increases, so does consumption. Some people even increase their consumption based on anticipated income. Author Robert Kiosaki ("Rich Dad, Poor Dad") called it the "Rat Race."

In prison I constantly hear talk of "gettin' money." It's an unhealthy obsession with consumerism.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those people that claim to have no desire for money just because I don't have any. I'd like to make good money, and maybe I will one day. But I'm realizing that one cannot be obsessed with consuming when there are so many more important things in life. 

When one values money more than freedom, it's easy to fall right back into patterns of behavior that landed them in prison in the first place. In fact, some even continue that same behavior in prison. Stealing from other inmates, dealing in drugs or contraband to make money, or even running scams.
Changing behavior starts with changing your way of thinking.

Until we change our obsession with consuming, many inmates will end up right back in prison, "free" people will continue to be enslaved by mountains of debt, or living paycheck-to-paycheck, and we'll continue to drain the earth of its natural resources. 

What are you consuming that you can let go? Don't be a part of the cycle of consumerism.

A Legacy of Redemption

Like most people, I used to have a desire to leave a lasting legacy. I wanted to make a difference with my life. I still have this desire; I guess you could call it a desire for greatness. But not greatness in a notorious way. Greatness in the magnitude of the difference I make in other's lives. I'm sure I'm not alone in this desire.
Since coming to prison though I've come to desire something even more than a legacy of greatness.

I want to hug my kids again.
I want the comfort of a loving wife again.
I want forgiveness.
I want to redeem myself to my family and friends.

I do still want to leave a legacy of making a difference in people's lives, but above all, I want to leave a legacy of a redemption story.

What sort of legacy are you writing with your life?

Blessings

I'm grateful for the blessings I experience every day. With all the negativity around me, it's important to name my blessings and to focus on them. 

Since transferring to a lower security level here are some of the many blessings I've experienced:

1. A peaceful cubicle. All the guys in my cube get along well. I hear arguing, and fighting, hear about stealing and selfishness in other cubes, but the cube I'm in is peaceful and we all watch out for each other.

2. Single-man showers. Does this really need an explanation?

3. Beautiful grounds. Garden plots with fresh vegetables and aromatic and beautiful flower gardens everywhere. Lots of freedom of movement and grass in the yard areas.

4. An encouraging christian church service. After the negative atmosphere at the last facility's services I stopped attending. It's refreshing to get back to corporate worship.

5. A bunk by the window. Out of eight bunks in my cube, four are by the hallway and four are by the windows. I got one by the window. That means I can look outside at anytime onto the green grass and trees, and it means I can enjoy the fresh air when it's warm enough to open the window.

6. Better conditions for my allergies. Less dust, and more air movement mean my allergies are much better. That means better sleep.

There are more than these blessings, but this is a sample of how God is blessing me today. What're your blessings?

A New Start

I just moved to a new address. It's a lower level prison which means more freedoms, less restrictions, no more 'bars', but it's still prison. I'm settling in and hoping to have a job soon. 

Overall the change is good, but it's mostly a matter of perspective. You just adjust to wherever you are. I'm glad for the new start and I hope that I'll never see a level 4 prison again!

What's Your Vision?

I just finished reading Ken Blanchard's book 'Full Steam Ahead.' It's an excellent book about unleashing the power of vision in your company and your life. 

Although I think it's a great idea, I recognize that not everyone is going to write out and frame a vision statement or mission statement for their life. But shouldn't we all have a vision for our life? The bible says that 'My people perish for lack of vision.' 

I don't think it's necessarily saying you literally die if you have no vision, but without a vision, are you really living?I've written before about living life on purpose. This purpose and vision go hand-in-hand. Purpose defines your reason for living. It answers the question, "Why?" rather than just explaining what you do.

You can't have a clear purpose without clearly defined values. As Blanchard defines it, "Values are deeply held beliefs that certain qualities are desirable. They define what is right or fundamentally important to each of us. They provide guidelines for our choices and actions."

Purpose is important because it explains "why" and values are important because they explain "how." They answer how you'll behave on a day-to-day basis to accomplish your purpose.

Your vision should give you a clear picture of the future, but should not be goal-specific. It's about being, not doing.Vision is knowing who you are, where you're going, and what will guide your journey.

You might think that being in prison sort of dampens one's outlook on the future. Sort of clouds your vision, so to speak. And it can, if you let it. Some months ago I wrote in Calligraphy and posted the following on my wall: "Learn from the Past, Live in the Present, Plan for the Future."Although I realize it's not unique, I was shocked to read nearly these exact words in Blanchard's book. 

Had I clearly defined my values and my purpose and lived my life ON purpose, I wouldn't be where I am today. Although I'm here now, I can still define my values and purpose and set a vision for my life. I'm determined to live the rest of my life on purpose. So, what's your vision?

Earnest Expectations

Hope is an interesting word. We often think of hope as a desire, wishful thinking, or an anticipation of something that might happen. I hope I get a new job. Or I hope my kids do well in school. Or I hope I make it to my appointment on time. 

I was watching Dr. David Jeremiah on TV today and he defined hope differently. In spiritual terms, hope is more of an earnest expectation. There's no room for doubt. There are no maybes or what-ifs. Hope is a belief, a faith, that a promise will be fulfilled. There's not necessarily a knowledge of when, or how, but a firm belief that in fact what you're 'hoping' for will be.

It's interesting to me the relationship between faith and hope though, because the bible says that 'hope that is seen is not hope.'

So, what's the difference really between faith and hope then? Aren't they essentially the same thing?

I think faith is the 'legs' of hope. The bible says that "Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." (Heb. 11:1) 'Substance' here is the essence or reality. It's what makes you act on your hope. It's what keeps you from sitting back waiting for things to happen. It's what makes you go out and 'do' in the strength of your hope. 

So what are you hoping for? And is your hope wishful thinking or an earnest expectation? What you do with your hope will likely define what type of hope it is.

Deepen Your Well

Have you noticed that at times of crisis people turn out in droves to church, or to pray in groups? Think of 9/11, or other tragedies. Why is it that people wait until a crisis in their lives, or in the lives of those around them to make God a priority?

I was reading a devotional recently that I think clearly gave the answer. 

When you're in a situation where you just have no hope, and no way to see an answer to the question 'why?’ we tend to turn to God at those times because we need the comfort of His grace. Of course, I'd argue that we need it at all times, good and bad, but as this devotional stated, "Like an oasis, God's goodness is found in dry and difficult places."

It's not that God's goodness can't be found in good times too. In fact, if we're honest about it, we'd recognize that those good times are a blessing from God. But again, as this devotional put it, "Sometimes God's gifts are seen more clearly when we are tired and thirsty."

Prison often feels like a dry, desert wasteland. But even in the desert you can become adapted to your surroundings. I think it's important to take the good times, even in bad circumstances, to strengthen your inner-person so that when you do experience those dry and difficult places you have a well from which to draw from. 

If you're in a dry and difficult place, go ahead and look to the oasis of God's goodness. But if you're in good times, keep deepening that well.

Prison Recipes

TUNA COOK-UP

2 Chicken, Shrimp, or Hot Vegetable flavored Ramen noodles
1 Pouch of Tuna
1 Large spoonful of cheese spread (use jalapeño cheese if you like heat)
1 Large spoonful of 'Salad Dressing' (like Miracle Whip)
Water as needed
1 Large pickle, diced (using your inmate ID)
1 Package of jalapeno peppers (if desired)
1 Package of tortilla shells, or saltine crackers as desired

Directions:
Crush up Ramen noodles and add to water. Cook in microwave for 2-3 minutes. Let sit one minute and then drain water (noodles should be slightly firm). Add one package of seasoning from noodles (save the other for another time, or discard). Add package of tuna to noodles.
Mix cheese, and dressing in a small bowl or cup. Add water to thin slightly. Mixture should be thin enough to run off your spoon. 
Mix thoroughly with noodles. Top noodle mix with diced pickles and jalapeño’s if desired. 
Eat hot or cold with saltine crackers, or in tortilla shells as desired.


CARMEL POPCORN

3 bags of microwave popcorn
1/2 C sugar
13 Carmel candy squares
2 spoons of coffee creamer
2 spoons of peanut butter (if desired)
Water as needed
Salted peanuts, as desired
Crushed M&M candy, as desired
1/2 spoon of cocoa, as desired

Directions:
Pop bags of popcorn, and add to medium sized plastic bag, removing unpopped kernels. 
In a small bowl, add sugar, caramels, creamer, and peanut butter (if desired). Use 1/2 spoon of cocoa if you want chocolate caramel corn.
Heat in the microwave for 15-30 seconds at a time, stirring regularly. Add water to thin the mixture as needed. Once the caramels have melted and the mixture is properly thinned, heat until the mixture boils for 5-10 seconds. Remove from microwave and stir immediately. 
Pour half the caramel mixture over the popcorn. Using the bag, mix the caramel mixture into the popcorn. Repeat with remaining caramel. Before the popcorn/caramel sets, add additional ingredients if desired (peanuts, hot peanuts, M&M's, or other crushed candies). 
Good eaten immediately, or the next day.

Thinking for a Change

Ever since coming to prison I've spent a great deal of time studying and thinking about the mind. Particularly about how what we spend time thinking about affects our behavior. It sounds elementary, but I really wonder how many people actually pay attention to how they think?

How many people consider that how they view their bodies affects their eating and exercising decisions? If you consider yourself 'fat' or 'unattractive' and this is what you tell yourself in your mind, your behavior will likely follow those thinking patterns. If you spend time feeding hatred or resentment in your heart and mind you'll end up with behaviors that reflect that, even towards those you don't hate or resent.

Likewise, if you think too highly of yourself you're likely to be easily offended when someone tramples on your 'rights' (or what you perceive to be your rights). I guess you could say that what you feed your Ego can get in the way of your relationships. Whenever there's a pattern of behavior, there's always a pattern of thinking behind it, no matter what it is. 

I was struck by the emphasis of the mind when I was recently reading in Philippians 2, and how it brought all this together. The Apostle Paul told the church to be 'like minded' and to be 'of one mind'. I'm all for like-mindedness in the church, but because I'm an independent thinker, I don't like to join in group-think. So I have always been a bit of a 'rebel', I guess you could say, when it comes to being part of the status quo (hence why I identify myself as a libertarian leaning independent). But Paul continues to tell the church to have 'lowliness of mind' (be humble), and this goes back to the Ego thing. He ties it all together by pointing to the one example Christians are supposed to follow: Jesus Christ. Again Paul tells the church, "Let this mind be in you (have this way of thinking), which was also in Christ Jesus..." and he goes on to describe Jesus' humility of thinking, and how that thinking affected Jesus' behavior. 

Now, when someone 'offends' me I try hard to change my thinking and ask myself what 'right' I had in the first place. 

Changing the way you think is a process that takes constant work, but it's worth it when you see behavior changes in your life.

Knee Jerk Legislation

The tragedy in Aurora Colorado is a senseless act that forever changed the lives of the families involved. It's hard to imagine any reasoning someone could use to justify those actions. I grieve for the loss of lives, and the permanent injuries some of the survivors will experience, as well as the psychological trauma they'll live with.

It didn't take long though for the political activists to seize the opportunity to exploit a tragedy to push their agenda.

Anyone that says that more gun control will prevent future tragedies such as this hasn't thought out their conclusions. The United States Constitution protects the right to bear arms for a reason. The People have a right to defend themselves not only against domestic terrorism, and other acts of violence against themselves or their family, but against the tyranny of government. When the government begins to erode and eradicate the rights citizens have to defend themselves, we should be very concerned.

Any criminal or criminally minded person can tell you that to perpetrate harm on others one does not need to legally purchase firearms. These laws the activists are pushing serve no purpose except to keep law-abiding citizens from purchasing firearms. Criminals can and will find guns whenever they 'need' them. Case in point: How many people are currently in prison for "Felon in possession of a firearm"? Plenty. They didn't purchase these firearms legally.

Our country has a long and storied history of jumping on the band-wagon of some ill-conceived 'protective' legislation that erodes the rights our founding-fathers designed for the free people of the United States to have.

Knee-jerk reactions to tragic events do nothing but erode the rights and privacy of free citizens and to give the government power to intrude more and more into the lives of the People.

We can't prevent every tragedy. We can, and should, try to prevent tragedies as much as we can, but limiting the right and freedoms of free citizens won't solve the problem.

Confirmation Bias

I read something recently that I'd heard before, but was still struck by the truth of it.

We tend to see things we want to see and ignore what we've already chosen to disbelieve. This is called "Confirmation Bias." It's the tendency for people to prefer information that confirms their pre-conceptions or beliefs, whether or not they are true. People then reinforce their existing attitudes by selectively collecting new evidence, by interpreting evidence in a biased way, or by selectively recalling information from memory.

This psychological flaw has been shown to explain "belief perseverance" (when beliefs remain after the evidence for them is taken away) and "illusory correlation" (in which people falsely perceive an association between two unrelated events).

Confirmation bias, belief perseverance, and illusory correlation are all rampant in criminal prosecutions. As I've stated before, most people in prison are actually guilty of the crimes they pled guilty to (over 90% accept a plea deal). But pleading guilty to one crime does not automatically mean the person is guilty of all the crimes they were charged with. That's nearly impossible to overcome though. If you're willing to plead guilty to one charge, this initiates confirmation bias in the prosecutor (and others) to believe you are guilty of all charges.

While accepting a plea often means reduced charges, or an agreement to drop additional charges, in the State of Michigan, the courts still sentence you as if you had been found guilty of all charges!

Political campaigns infamously exploit these psychological tendencies by creating belief perseverance that a candidate holds a certain belief or position even when the evidence shows otherwise or illusory correlation by leading you to falsely associate something their opponent said as defining their belief or position on an issue.

We all tend to believe what we want to believe, but perhaps if we're aware that we do this, we'll open our eyes to the truth of what's real and what isn't.

Juvenile Lifer Laws

The United States Supreme Court recently ruled it unconstitutional for states to sentence a juvenile offender to life in prison without parole. This decision affects around 350 prisoners in Michigan, second only to Ohio in numbers. 

Because juveniles do not have fully developed brains, their reasoning is undeveloped and they are incapable of fully grasping the seriousness of their actions. Their cause-and-effect sequencing is not yet mature. This doesn't mean they shouldn't be held accountable for their decisions, but to apply adult standards of law to juvenile offenders is irrational.

For instance, if a 15 year old participates in an armed robbery as a look-out, and during the course of the robbery his adult co-defendant shoots and kills someone, under current Michigan law, that juvenile would be charged with first-degree murder. This charge carries a mandatory life without parole sentence. 

To expect a juvenile to have the maturity to think through the possible consequences of his actions is irrational. Judges need the flexibility to differentiate between a juvenile offender who gets caught up in behavior coerced by other adult offenders, and those who commit heinous, cold-blooded murder themselves, and to fashion sentences accordingly. This recent Supreme Court ruling makes that possible. 

I believe that people need to be held accountable for their criminal behavior, but there needs to be reason employed in making sentencing laws. I believe there should be a balanced, rehabilitative approach rather than purely for retribution. 

Prison Misconceptions

People have a lot of misconceptions about prison. Some that I've heard include:

* Prisoners watch TV or lift weights all day.
* Taxpayers pay for the prisoner's TV channels (basic cable), weights, and other activities or recreation. 
* Longer prison sentences reduce recidivism (re-offending).
* Prisoners get free college degrees.

Although some prisoners do spend much of their day watching TV or lifting weights, many more prisoners spend much of their day working for the Department of Corrections (DOC) making on average, less than $1 per day. Whether it is sweeping, mopping, and dusting, preparing or serving meals, or dozens of other "prison jobs", most prisoners stay busy working, not playing. 

It is prisoners, not taxpayers, who pay for recreation equipment, activities, and cable TV channels. Prisoners are required to purchase their own hygiene items, OTC meds, supplemental vitamins and snack foods, and even their own seasonings like salt and pepper. By over-charging prisoners for these items, the DOC is able to use the "profit" to create a "Prisoner Benefit Fund." This fund is what pays for most of the "extras" prisoners have. It even pays for new books for the library. Most people would be surprised to find that the majority of the corrections budget is for officer salaries/benefits, and retirement plans, not for prisoner benefits.

Recent studies conducted by the federal government and several state governments show that longer prison sentences do not equate to reduced recidivism. In fact, longer prison sentences tend to result in fewer community and family connections which can contribute to higher instances of re-offense. Education, psychological counseling, and vocational training, which are all proven to reduce recidivism, are being cut due to federal and state budget woes.

Years ago the federal government allowed prisoners to apply for PELL grants. This allowed some prisoners to earn college degrees while in prison. While I think this is an excellent idea because education is proven to reduce recidivism, the federal government caved under pressure and has stopped allowing prisoners to apply for PELL grants. Because there are no known organizations that will pay for prisoners to get a college degree, prisoners must pay for their own. Since most prisoners come from poor situations, this is next to impossible. 

I'm sure there are many other misconceptions about prison due to TV depictions and long-held beliefs. Hopefully this information helps dispel some of those myths and misconceptions. 

How's your Energy?

Years ago I heard the concept of being an "Energy Giver" and not an "Energy Taker." Because of the source, I had pretty much discounted it as yet another method of control over easily manipulated people. It was often used to manipulate people into 'demonstrating cheerfulness', even when they didn't feel cheerful. Not a way to encourage authenticity, right?

Well, like many things that sound good on the surface, there's actually some validity to this concept. My problem was with the application of the truth and how it was abused. I guess you could call it, "truth out of balance."

What is true is that people are affected by the emotions of others around them. You can't help but feel happy when you walk into a room full of smiling, genuinely happy people. And you can't help but feel depressed around someone who is incessantly down. But how deep does this go? What other attitudes do we pick up from those around us? What about people who complain? If you're surrounded by people who constantly complain, you too will find yourself complaining, whether inwardly or outwardly. You'll find yourself generally dissatisfied with your life or circumstances. You'll find the worst in every situation. You'll have a negative outlook on life in general. 

But if you surround yourself with positive people you'll find you look for the best in circumstances, or in people. You'll brush off things that try to bring you down. You'll have a 'spring in your step' and a 'song in your heart', so to speak. 

I'm not sure what makes us mirror our surroundings, but, be it people we associate with, books we read, TV we watch, or music we listen to...we can't help but find that it affects our attitudes about life. 

That ought to make us think hard about how our attitudes affect those around us. Are we positively charging people with our energy, or are we dragging them down with our negativity?

It's easy for me to avoid people who bring me down, but I'm still working on being someone who positively affects those around me. 

What's Your Shack?

I just finished reading an excellent book titled "The Shack" by William Paul Young. It's not a new book, but I hadn't read it before. 

The story is about a man who is deeply affected by his childhood relationship with his father, and then by a tragedy involving one of his own children. When life seems to become overwhelming and he's ready to completely abandon what he thought was his faith, he gets an unseemly invitation to meet God at the place of his deepest tragedy. His experience with God in this place casts an amazing light on God's desire for relationship with us. 

I'm not sure I can wholeheartedly recommend all the theology presented in the book, but the gems I picked up were very impactful. Here are some of those gems: 

God speaking..."Your choices are not stronger than my purposes and I will use every choice you make for the ultimate good and the most loving outcome."

When we think of our future it is often dictated by fear of some kind, and rarely, if ever, pictures Jesus there with us.

"When all you see is your pain, perhaps then you lose sight of God."

"Grace doesn't depend on suffering to exist, but where there is suffering you will find grace in many facets and colors."

"Paradigms power perception and perceptions power emotions. Most emotions are responses to perception - what you think is true about a given situation. If your perception is false, then your emotional response to it will be false too. So check your paradigms, and beyond that check the truthfulness of your paradigms - what you believe."

In addition to these gems were many others, but they are too closely intertwined with the story to share them here. If you want to read an emotionally charged book that will challenge you to look at your relationship with God and will test the boundaries of 'religion', I highly recommend you read this book.

What are you when the wind blows?

"The eternal substance of a thing is never in the thing itself, but in the quality of our reaction toward it. If in the hard times, we are kept from resentment, held in silence, and filled with inward sweetness, that is what matters. The event that distressed us will pass from memory as a wind that passes and is gone. But what we were while the wind was blowing has eternal consequences." - Amy Carmichael

Thank-you Mentors

I've always been one to enjoy mentoring and being mentored. I feel like it's important to pass on the things you've learned to others who are eager to learn, and to learn from those who are willing to teach. 

Throughout the years, I've had a few mentors whom I've admired on different levels. Some have mentored me spiritually, some personally, and others in business. A mentor doesn't have to be older than you, but just willing and able to teach you something you don't know. But it's more than teaching too. Sometimes it's just a matter of being a cheerleader of sorts. A mentorship is sometimes a two-way street. One where you're learning and teaching, or even just pushing each other to greater heights of knowledge and achievement, or courage and commitment. 

I currently have a mentorship with a driven, young guy who has been pushing me to pursue the things I want to pursue and to use the knowledge I already have. And he's been learning from me as I share the knowledge I've gained from my life experiences. 

I think everyone needs a mentor, and everyone should be a mentor. we have a responsibility to pass on the lessons we've learned, and the knowledge we've gained, to others.

Thank you, to my many mentors over the years!

A Life Remembered

A year ago today someone I loved dearly and admired greatly passed away. Don was like a father to me, who took me under his wing and taught me many different things, like how to gold (which I LOVE), the game of Cribbage, how to frame a roof, and how to properly care for my home. But he taught me other things too. Like how making memories is more important than buying things. And how a husband should put his wife first. And how important relationships are in business. He also demonstrated to me how important it is to love people just the way they are. I don't think I ever heard him say a mean word about anyone. Even when he was being maligned and mistreated, he'd say something nice about the other person and make excuses for their behavior. He was one of the most authentic people I've ever known, and I truly miss him. Don, I love you and I'm a better man because I knew you. Thank you for leaving your legacy with me.

Do You Believe In Redemption?

I saw a beautiful example of hope the other night when I was watching a program on TV. There's this prison in Texas where they house some 5,800 of the 'worst' inmates in Texas. The warden at this prison believes in rehabilitation, even though many of the inmates are serving life sentences.

This warden has designed a program in his prison that allows inmates to earn the right to work in desirable positions like cattle herding, or working with horses as the inmates demonstrate good they move up the stepped 'benefits' program this warden has in place. Likewise, bad behavior results in loss of privileges.

Every prison system uses some sort of punishment for bad behavior, but in Michigan the only incentive for good behavior is to eventually go to a less restrictive lower level. The Michigan Department of Corrections has removed nearly all incentives for good behavior, such as good time, and desirable skills training, educational opportunities, etc. They claim budge woes, but studies have shown that education and skills training reduce recidivism rates. So the department is choosing to spend money on the back-end, rather than the front end.

It's time for the legislature to start thinking differently about corrections. It's time to start thinking about rehabilitation and corrective training rather than housing prisoners to create jobs for thousands of DOC employees.

Seeing what is working for this prison in Texas gives me hope that there are some people that believe in the redemptiveness of criminal offenders.

Beauty

When you're in prison, or, I imagine, other isolated or ugly environments, you tend to appreciate beauty much more than you might otherwise. You see amazing details in flowers, or awe at the sighting of a soaring Bald Eagle, or appreciate the rare sight of a smile on a woman's face.

Today (6/23/12) at yard, I saw a huge, upside-down rainbow. It's sunny with some cumulous clouds, and not a bit of rain in sight, but there must have been enough humidity in the air to generate that awesome rainbow. It lasted the entire hour of yard time and it was so cool for me and the guy I was walking with to stop and marvel at God's handiwork.

What have you seen lately that made you stop in awe of its beauty?

Learning to Live Life Authentically

There’s a lot of shame being in prison. Many prisoners will tell you that they are innocent, but the facts show otherwise. 

In Michigan, something like 90% + took plea deals rather than going to trial. That’s not to say that some took the plea deals because their past record would have had them serving impossibly long terms if they were convicted at trial for something they didn’t do. I’m sure that happens, but the vast majority are in fact guilty of the crimes they pled guilty to.

I’m reading a book about shame called “The Gifts of Imperfection” by Brene Brown, and it’s an excellent look into the aspects of shame and how our psychology responds to it. One chapter was especially poignant for me. It’s on authenticity. I think there is a dearth of authenticity in today’s culture. I’ll be the first to admit that I find it very difficult to live authentically. In fact, authenticity in prison is like putting a sign on your forehead that says, “WEAK”. The major key to authenticity is vulnerability and you can’t be vulnerable in prison without appearing weak. In fact, if you don’t put up walls to protect yourself you will be taken advantage of. That means, if you want to be vulnerable you have to be vulnerable with someone outside of prison. But being vulnerable with someone outside of prison means being honest about everything that happens inside of prison and there are just some things better left unsaid. Prison is a toxic environment and a cauldron of the basest creature of humanity. There are people with no conscience and because of the training of prison life there are masters of manipulation. In fact, prison is the epitome of a perfect classroom for training to be inauthentic.

A quote from the Reverend Dimmesdale in the book “The Scarlet Letter” perfectly voices what I felt about myself when I first came to prison (and even now) because of the inauthenticity with which I lived my life before prison:

“No man, for any considerable period can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true”

It’s impossible to live a lie to others without finally coming to believe your own lie. If you lie to yourself and others often enough, that lie will soon take on the appearance of authenticity to your own mind. But authenticity and the appearance of authenticity are like night and day. They are like the knock-off clothing people are duped into buying these days. They look real. They feel real. They smell real. But on closer inspection you’ll find all kinds of flaws that point to the fact that they aren’t authentic.

It’s the same with our lives. We can put on appearances all we want. We can appear however we want to those around us. And we’ll probably fool most people because most people don’t care enough to look closely. They don’t care enough to ask the hard questions. They don’t care enough to see us for who we really are.

But as it says in “The Gifts of Imperfection”: Incongruent living is exhausting.

I think deep down every one of us WANTS to be authentic. We long for the trust with someone that will allow us to be our vulnerable selves. But we rarely find that person. It takes vulnerability to built trust and if you’ve been hurt enough you don’t want to lower your walls long enough to build that trust. It’s too risky. “What will he think of me?” “What if she hates me?”

I blame society and especially the media for promoting inauthentic living. We’re told how we’re supposed to look, how we’re supposed to act, what we’re supposed to believe. And if you don’t conform you’re vilified, perhaps not directly but indirectly for sure, by the popular media. You wear a size what?! Don’t you know, thin is in? You voted republican?! Don’t you know that republicans hate women and the poor? You didn’t go to college?! Don’t you know that you have to go to college to get a job? You’re an evangelical Christian?! Don’t know you know that Christians are the biggest bigots around today?

I’m sure you can fill in the blanks with something from your own life.

So what is authenticity anyway? Brown put it like this: “Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.”

I like that definition. How can we embrace who we are when everyone around us tells us that who we are is wrong? So we wear different masks depending on who we’re around. If you’re a church-going person, or even if you grew up going to church, you know what I mean. Fighting or arguing all the way to church only to put on the mask of self-righteousness before you step out of the car and mingle with the saints. Or perhaps you’re fighting depression. But you know that people don’t like to have depressed people around them so you put on your mask of “everything’s ok” before you mingle with all the ‘happy’ people in this world. Little realizing that if everyone removed their own masks you’d see a lot of miserable, unhappy, and unrighteous people beneath.

So how can we live authentically? I think the first thing we have to do is learn to accept who we are and love ourselves, flaws and all. That’s not to say we can’t work on correcting our flaws. We can and we should. But it’s ok to not be perfect. We can even embrace our imperfections. Psychologists will tell you that all a flaw needs to fester and grow is to be hidden by our own shame. So be honest with yourself first and then be willing to show your true self to others. If you can admit to yourself that you aren’t all put together and are willing to be vulnerable enough to let others see that imperfection then you’re well on your way to working on those things you’d like to change.

I think the biggest reward to being authentic is that you attract authentic people into your life. You’ll find that those friends who pull away from your authenticity are afraid of being authentic themselves. Those weren’t the kinds of friends you needed in the first place. And soon you’ll find that you have new friends or deeper friendships with friends you already had because you’ve built those friendships deeper through authenticity.

When you believe in yourself, and you’re honest with yourself about your imperfections and vulnerabilities, you’re creating strength to live life wholeheartedly and with all the authenticity of who you are. Sure there are risks. It’s not easy to live authentically. Being vulnerable always creates a risk of being hurt. But the rewards of living an authentic life far outweigh the risks. The joy of living your life without masks will open up a world of possibilities.

I’m still trying to figure it out for myself. I want to live life authentically, but sometimes I don’t like the person who emerges. I’ve worn the mask of religion my whole life and fought to ‘fit in’ and gain the approval of religious people. But these are the same people who abandoned me in my moment of crisis. I want to hate them for it, but how can I was I was living inauthentically? So I fight wearing masks now. Even when that means appearing non-religious to those I would have previously fought to gain approval from. It means choosing to work on my flaws because I don’t like my flaws, not because I want the approval of others. It means learning to live my life authentically in private so what others see in public is the real me. It means admitting to myself that I don’t have it all figured out, and that’s okay. It means being willing to accept others with their flaws and imperfections and be able to say “it’s okay that you don’t have it all together. I don’t either.”

I know that when I leave prison life, it will be hard because people will look at me differently now that I have a ‘convict’ label. But living authentically means recognizing that others will see me differently and still being courageous enough to live authentically for myself. I refuse to wear masks to meet the approval of others any longer. If I don’t like something about myself, I’ll work on changing it. And at the risk of sounding arrogant, if you don’t like who I am right now, that’s okay. I won’t insult you by being who you want me to be instead of who I really am, because I’m choosing to live life authentically. 

Choose Hope

Hope is a deep word. It defines not just a feeling, but a belief system. What you feel about hope can change your whole outlook on life. Hope can literally keep you going when all feels lost, or drive you insane as you maintain unrealistic beliefs about the future.

So why hope? And what is this blog about anyway?

On March 12, 2009 my whole life changed when I was arrested and subsequently sent to prison with a 17-45 year sentence (which I am currently serving). At that point in my life, I think it's safe to say that I felt utterly hopeless. I had lost everything: Family, friends, job, all material possessions, respect of others, etc. I had no way of seeing a future for me. 

This blog is not to talk about why I went to prison, or what my life was like before prison though. I started this blog (with the help of a friend) to talk about hope. Not just hope of course, but life in general. 

Prison has a way of tearing you down and making you feel less human. But people in prison are humans too. We have ideas and thoughts to share about life, politics, religion, psychology, human interests, and of course, life behind bars. It's a different world in here and my hope is that by blogging about life I'll be able to share the hope that can be found even in a hopeless environment.

I realize that some people believe that all criminals should be locked up, with the key melted down into a pin that permanently locks the door. If that's you, this blog isn't for you. But if you believe that people in prison deserve a chance at redemption, at reconciliation, at forgiveness, then read on. 

I hope that by reading this blog you'll find compassion for those who made some poor choices in their lives, but who want to redeem themselves to their loved ones and society.

Choose hope with me, because once you choose hope, anything is possible.