What do you do with a 'No'?

Life is filled with failures and rejections, and most people let
those failures and rejections define who they are. Those that don't
rise above the fray to levels of success most can't even dream of. The
difference is in their response to the failure or rejection.

One famous example is Albert Einstein, who had thousands of failed
inventions, but by refusing to let those failures define him he was
able to achieve what most couldn't even dream of.

Recently Michigan passed legislation to make it easier for recently
released prisoners to get jobs. This is a great step in the right
direction, but the biggest obstacle most former prisoners face is
themselves. It's true that many employers don't want to hire ex-cons
because of the risks associated with former criminals.

So what do we do with a 'no'? How do we overcome objections? Many
ex-cons go into business for themselves because they find it easier to
start a business than to get a job for someone else. Others go right
back to a life of crime because, well, it's easier.

The problem seems to at least be in part to the expectation that to
succeed in life, one must not fail in the first place. That and the
assumption that the government can always take care of me. What's
lacking in either of these solutions is the fortitude required of
achieving something worth achieving. 

If you don't value the solution than the work to achieve it isn't worth the struggle. Conversely, if you value the solution (not a job, but a way to legally provide for
one's self and family) it's worth the struggle to achieve it. 

It might take creative thinking, or preparations through education, but
whatever it takes, if you value something enough, you're willing to
take the lumps that come with the struggle.

Next time you're told NO, don't accept the rejection as an indication
of who you are, but if it's worth achieving, persist until you get
results.

Focused on Redemption

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another" This verse from Proverbs 27:17 was perfectly illustrated the other night as I watched a graduation ceremony for the young men who participated in the peer-to-peer focus group I've mentioned previously.

This focus group idea is pointed at using older, more experienced men to help the young men in prison experience changes from the inside out. What struck me most as I listened to some of the young men share their experiences was the common theme that these older men were some of the first to ever believe in them and their potential. They also expressed that the older men didn't give them answers to life, but helped them discover that they already had the answers, they just needed to see them.

This program is a prisoner-led, grassroots movement, sponsored by a prison ministry called Prisoners In Christ and supported by the prison administration (although not officially). 

Officially called "The Focus Group", this program is a positive peer culture program that encourages new thinking, creative expression and commitment to personal growth in those whose lives have been impacted by crime and punishment. There are three dimensions of TFG which are: Leadership Development, Economic Empowerment, and Community Building.

I'm excited about this program because it has had some great responses from a very difficult-to-reach segment of the prison population: the young men. 

There are ways to get involved if you're interested. Just contact Prisoners In Christ and use their contact page to find out what you can do to get involved.

You can also support The Focus Group by purchasing a book on Amazon called:
A Prisoners Experience about the stories of many of the first young men involved in this program. 

The profits of the sales of this book are used to provide help to those being released from prison. It's an interesting read, and authored by these incarcerated young men.

"As we look ahead into the next century, leaders will be those who empower others." - Bill Gates

How are you empowering others today?"

Paying it Forward

The facility I'm at has a program designed for young guys, most of whom are facing release within a year or two. As a part of that program the facilitators (older, respected inmates) teach them things like how to fill out a resume, how to apply for and interview for a job, critical thinking skills, and other skills that will help reduce the likelihood of their reoffending.

I was given the opportunity to participate in the job interview by posing as an emploer, and then a couple of weeks later I posted as a parole board member to do 'mock' parole interviews. the goal of both the job and the parold interviews was to prepare them with practice and feedback. Of course, I enjoyed doing both types of interviews, but the best part was in giving feedback. Not all the guys took it seriously. Some thought it was a laugh-worthy practice, but others took it very seriously and really wanted to know what they could do to improve. 

The most rewarding thing of all for me was in identifying one guy in particular who I saw a lot of potential in and taking the time to pull him aside later and share with him my thoughts. as I've mentioned before, men in prison are by and large, dealing with major self-esteem issues. I don't know, maybe it's more common even outside of prison than I previously thought, but I believe many of the guys in prison are dealing with such negative self-talk, and liging up to the expectations so many had of them (they'd never amount to anything) that they can't see the value they have as a person.

I believe it's our responsibility, whether in prison or not, to help those that God puts in our path. So many people don't see the value they have and whether that translates to criminal behavior, psychological issues, poor grades in school, damaged relationships, or however it manifests, it falls on us to make a difference where we are.

Someone said that ignorance is when we react exclusively to our own projections rather than simply seeing what is there. It's our responsibility to help others change their projections of themselves. 

Who can you encourage today?

Reflections on Five Years

It's amazing to me how palpable the losses I experienced in coming to prison still are five years later. It seems like a lifetime ago, and yet, the most significant loss, that of my family, is still as painful today as it was five years ago.

There's much I've learned in the last five years about myself, about life, about friendship. I've come to realize that I sacrificed my friendships by my own behavior. But I've also learned that a true friend loves you through your darkest moments. And sometimes those moments last for years.
I've learned that I value family more than I ever thought I did.
I've learned that forgiveness is mainly for one's self.
I've learned that God's grace is greater than I can fathom and that His mercy is just the beginning of His love.
I've learned that nothing in life matters if it is not founded on love.
I've learned that you attract into your life what you put out. So I choose to put out positivity, because I hate negativity. I choose to put out hope because despair scares me. I choose to put out love because I live in a place filled with hate. I choose peace because I've seen what lack of peace does to people. And I choose to live in joy because living in a cloud of misery is not living at all.

There's much in prison that can make you miserable if you choose to focus on it. But choice is the key. Every day when I wake up, I face a choice of wallowing in the cesspool that is prison, or of rising above the quicksand and choosing to focus on the health of my three-part man: Spirit, soul and body.
By exercising my spirit I draw closer to my Creator. By exercising my soul I develop strength of mind, will and emotions. And by exercising my body I stay healthy for my future work, whatever that is.

That's what much of life comes down to though, isn't it? The choices we make? Many of those choices have life-long consequences, but we seldom think about the many daily choices we make that steer our lives in ways we can never imagine.

I don't know how the last chapters of my life will be written, but I am determined that the choices I make today will be the ink that writes a story of hope and redemption.

Character Pillars: Citizenship

Citizenship, the last character pillar in this series includes civic virtues and duties that prescribe how we ought to behave as part of a community. It's about doing more than one's "fair share" to make society work, now and for future generations. It's about developing the attitude of "it is better to give than to receive."
Community can be defined by one's hometown or region, or it can even involve sub-sections like a community of prisoners.

When I first came to prison, I found it interesting to hear frequent discussions about how to get government assistance when released from prison. It's an attitude many bring to prison with them: "What can I get for free, whether I deserve it or not?"

There's a sense of entitlement that permeates the prison population and it's my belief that this is a major cause why many people in government refuse to take us seriously when it comes to important issues like Good Time, the third-world quality of prison healthcare, and the importance of education in prison to help reduce recidivism. 

That's why I'm encouraged by a grass-roots effort in my current facility by a group of prisoners (I am part of the group) who are creating educational opportunities and facilitating or teaching classes to other prisoners. It's an effort to develop a love for education and to foster an expectation for a better future. By giving back to our own community of prisoners we're developing the citizenship quality that's important inside, and outside of prison. This sort of attitude is infectious too. It catches on as others catch the vision. 

How can you develop citizenship in yourself for the benefit of your community?