Recovering From Suffering

                                   "Recovering from suffering is not like recovering from a disease. 

                                       Many people don't come out healed; they come out different."




When I read this quote by David Brooks in his article "What Suffering Does," I was struck by how relevant it was to prisoners and to surviving victims of crime. The cold, hard fact is that crime causes suffering. Victims and their families suffer immensely from the effects of crime. Some victims never recover a sense of normalcy after being victimized. They may suffer from PTSD, depression, anxiety, or a host of other psychological and emotional effects from the harm that was done to them. They may also suffer financially, physically, socially, or in other ways. But not all victims suffer forever; some find a way to rise above their suffering.

I don't know what differentiates those who remain in their suffering from those who don't. I don't think it's simply deciding to rise above the suffering. I think it's deeper than that. But even those who do rise above their suffering are changed. They don't come out the other side the same person. They might be more grateful for how precious life is; they might value their relationships more; they might have a new found empathy for others who likewise suffer from the devastating affects of crime. Nobody responds the same, and there is no formula for how people 'should ' respond to suffering. Those who are trapped in suffering must be treated with empathy and helped to recover, often by those who made it out themselves. 

Even those who go to prison for committing crimes suffer, though this suffering results from their own behavior, not from the behavior of another. Yet, some prisoners are able to rise above the suffering that is found in prison. They too are changed and for the better. They begin to develop deep empathy for those they harmed and for others who are marginalized, oppressed, or otherwise suffer persecution and harm. They also begin to look at life quite differently. They discover precious value in people and relationships, mainly because prison often results in the loss of most, if not all, important relationships one had. 

Some suffering doesn't end. I have an ache for my loss of relationship with those I love, and that won't change. Even if I recover these relationships, they would be changed and far too much time will have been lost. But rather than let this suffering cripple me, I use it to compel me to come out of prison different--in a good way. I hope to recover these important relationships, but whatever happens, this experience has already shaped and changed me into someone different than I was before prison. I hope the rest of my life will be a testament to that change.