Celebrating INTERdependence in Prison

 It's Independence Day weekend, and most of America has returned to normal enough that celebrations will be taking place all around the country. In prison a holiday usually means most regular activities are cancelled. When we're not under covid restrictions, we might have a softball game or some other activity, but most non-custody staff members are off for the holiday. This year, it's just a long weekend with a "holiday meal" on the 4th. 

Holiday meals are out of the ordinary because they might give us slices of onions and tomato with our burger and a 4 oz ice cream cup with some sort of cobbler. Otherwise, it's still prison food, so nothing too special. Still, more prisoners than normal go to holiday meals, so it takes longer to run chow lines. The last housing unit to go might eat by 2PM on most holidays. 

As holidays go, I feel a little ambivalent about Independence Day. I love fireworks, bratwursts, bbqs, and family gatherings with yard games (none of which we have in prison). I'm also grateful for the incredible sacrifices made by our country's founding citizens. But I feel ambivalent about the holiday because although I am fiercely independent, I have discovered that interdependence is much more healthy.

America prides itself on the value of rugged individualism, and I agree that people should strive to be their best. Citizens ought to work hard and pull themselves up by the bootstraps, so to speak. But I also recognize that America doesn't have a very good tradition of equality of opportunity. We have some skeletons in our closet (to put it nicely). 

Acknowledging America's history of unequal treatment of blacks and other minorities is important. And we must do that while still promoting the value of hard work and rugged individualism. People who have the wherewithal ought to be responsible for their own success. We just need to do better as a country of making sure everyone gets an opportunity.

While I support being responsible for my own success, I also have learned how important others have been along the way. I worked hard to be successful before I came to prison. But I also had some very important help along the way. I had people who took an interest in me, people who took a risk with me. I had some very helpful breaks, and I see now that it would have been tremendously more difficult without that help, those breaks. While I thought I was pulling myself up by the bootstraps, I really had a lot of help along the way. 

That's where interdependence comes in. When I came to prison, I discovered how much I needed others. I'm profoundly blessed to have had the help of several compassionate and caring people along the way. There are some things you simply can't do from behind bars (like publish a blog, for example). Recognizing the importance of interdependence in relationships has helped me to see how much help I had in the past, too. It has also reinforced in me an urgency towards being a resource and help to others. That's where interdependence comes in. It's not a one-way street. Interdependent relationships are reciprocal. And while we should never form relationships simply to get what we can out of them, we should acknowledge that healthy relationships include mutuality. We were meant to be in communities who help each other out. 

Both the college education I received through Calvin University's Prison Initiative and the experiences I've had within communities in prison have reinforced the importance of interdependence in community. I'm not sure what that will look like for me when I leave prison, but I hope to cultivate mutuality in both a faith community and a geographic community. I want to be a part of other people's success like others have been a part of mine. I also know I'll need the help of others, no matter how much I might want to do things on my own. 

Being in prison has taught me a lot of valuable lessons. One of the most valuable, though, has been the importance of interdependence. We all need others. I know Independence Day doesn't step on the toes of that notion, but I can't help wanting to celebrate interdependence when I think about how grateful I am for all the people who have made my life a bit easier, a bit more joyful.