New Year, Same Old Prison Garbage

 

Recently, the Michigan Department of Corrections announced to its prisoners that we might be getting some price reductions on commissary items. You'd think that would be a cause for celebration among us prisoners, but it's only generated a bunch of eye rolls and skepticism.  Over the last two or three years, commissary item prices have risen dramatically, especially on popular food items. Tuna prices jumped more than 100% due to "shortages." It only keeps going up, making us wonder if "shortages" were really the problem.  Peanut butter also rose sharply due to problems in the peanut supply chain. That was more than two years ago, but the price has only continued to climb. It never dropped after supplies stabilized.  Coffee, which is instant, dry, generic brand coffee, more than doubled in the last two years. Mayonnaise more than doubled, too. Even though egg prices have dropped again, our mayo cost has remained very high. Even Ramen noodles jumped almost 80% in cost over the last couple of years.  One problem with prison commissary prices in Michigan is that up til now, 15% of the cost of commissary items goes to the Prisoner Benefit Fund (PBF). The PBF pays for things like cable television, weight equipment, sports equipment, Christmas "goody" bags, and other "prisoner benefits." With the drastically increased pricing, the PBF has become flush with cash over the last couple of years.  PBF funds are spent with warden and prisoner representative approval, but some prison wardens refuse to approve many expenses. Consequently, the PBF fund grows. (Incidentally, there is little to no oversight or independent review of how these funds are managed by the MDOC. Many prisoners believe the funds are often misused, though we can offer no proof without an independent audit.) Commissary prices continue to rise, and prisoner wages have not risen in more than three decades. Perhaps that is why the MDOC has decided to reduce the percentage of commissary prices that go to the PBF. Instead of 15%, it will now be...14%. That means that a $6.96 bag of freeze dried coffee, that a year ago cost $3.68, should now drop to $6.89. Wow. Big savings.  I, personally, do not believe the reduction is enough. Perhaps the MDOC plans future reductions if necessary. I hope so. But commissary prices will continue to inflate dramatically because there is no competition. The single company that manages our commissary can charge whatever it wants, and we have to deal with it, like it or not.  There are certainly many far more important things happening in the world that the legislature has to concern itself with, but sadly, that's always the case. In the mean time, prisoners and their families pay a heavy cost of unregulated, noncompetitive commissary prices for basic necessities and food replacements due to inadequate prison food.

Unforgotten in Prison During the Holidays

The segregation cells at the prison where I am housed are in my housing unit. They are actually on the same gallery (floor) as my cell, and I am right across from the middle section of the twenty or so seg cells. 

This past week, the prison emptied at least half of the seg cells that had been occupied. Others will transfer out or be released this week. Hopefully it'll be quiet at night for a few days, at least!  

Unfortunately, the holidays are a time when prisoners tend to go to the hole (segregation). Some prisoners decide to "party" and drink prison hooch (alcohol), often leading to rowdy or violent behavior. Others "treat" themselves to getting high on one of the several substances available in prison. These prisoners, too, either get rowdy or are simply caught using. 

Fights are more common in prison during the holidays, probably because of a combination of increased substance abuse, and because prisoners are more angry and anxious from missing family. Substances also have to be paid for, and prisoners who go into debt and can't pay often end up fighting or "locking up." 

When a prisoner locks up, he goes into protective custody. This is a special section of the "hole" that is more protected from the general population than the rest of the hole. At other prisons, the hole and protection are the same cells, or an entire housing unit might be designated for prisoners in protection. 

I understand the increased sadness, depression, and anxiety during the holidays. Every year, to some degree, I experience the same. I miss being with my family, and I'm angry that I put myself in this situation. I've lost out on a lot of important memories with people I love because of my stupid decisions. It's easy to spiral into a hole of self-pity. 

I'm long enough into my prison sentence that I have developed ways to deal with my emotions in healthier ways than many other prisoners I see around me. I've never been drawn to the substance abuse I've observed in prison for many years. But I do have to fight the tendency to isolate myself and wallow in my sadness. 

I'm incredibly grateful for the people who have remembered me throughout the holidays, including Christians who work for several prison ministries. It's amazing how meaningful even a simple card with a mass mailing message can have. 

But the most effective antidote I have found for staying out of both the actual hole (segregation) and the hole of self-pity is to focus on putting a smile on others' faces. I've found that it doesn't take much. A simple gift of something sweet from commissary, along with a simple "merry Christmas" message can make a big difference for those who are hurting. 

I'll never forget the simply wrapped (in white typing paper) Christmas gift I received from another prisoner one year. It was a few pieces of candy and a granola bar, but it really put a smile on my face. Now, I try to replicate that for other prisoners. 

Everyone wants to be remembered, especially during the holidays, but there's definitely power in what Jesus said: "It's better to give than to receive." 

Navigating Relationships with Prisoners During the Holidays

 The holidays are always hard for prisoners and for their loved ones. We're separated and unable to connect and celebrate together, whatever that looks like for each family. 

It's a particularly stressful time in prison, when depression and anger often get the best of prisoners. The hole (segregation) fills up quickly and often, and prisoners are more short tempered than normal. Fights and insolent behavior is more common as emotions run high. 

Our families we left on the outside also have to navigate the holidays without us, sometimes plagued by the sadness of separation, and perhaps even (unfairly) by guilt that we cannot enjoy the holidays with them. 

Navigating the complexity of relationships with incarcerated loved ones during the holidays and other special days and events is difficult. Sadness is inevitable, but it doesn't have to dominate, or even worse to come between you and an incarcerated loved one. 

When I wrote Insider's Guide to Prison Life, I did so because navigating relationships with an incarcerated loved one is complicated any time of the year. It is even more so during holidays. I've experienced the prison side of the equation, so I know what it's like in prison. I know what we need, and sadly the way we often sabotage relationships with the very people we love and desperately miss. 

Insider's Guide to Prison Life addresses many of these issues and more. This year, give yourself the gift of learning how to turn the tragedy of incarceration into an opportunity to deepen and enhance your relationship with your incarcerated loved one. 

Insider's Guide to Prison Life is available at Amazon.com in paperback for $14.99 or free on Kindle with an unlimited Kindle membership. https://a.co/d/5UDj4BU Invest in yourself and your relationships this year, or gift it to someone else who has an incarcerated loved one.

Don't Just Talk About It. Be About It.

I recently read a beautiful Thanksgiving themed quote, written on a whiteboard by my supervisor at my job in prison. The quote comes from President John F. Kennedy during his Thanksgiving Day proclamation in 1963. He said, 

"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them."

In other words, we best express gratitude by living that gratitude out, not just by verbalizing it. That requires intentionality, though, and not a lot of people live with intentionality. 

We humans, and Americans in particular, are emotionally reactive beings. The ways we behave primarily reflect our emotional states. That's probably why psychologists, for decades now, have focused on "Cognitive Behavioral Therapy." They attempt to teach their clients how to think rationally before they act. 

Some of Michigan's prisoners are required to take classes that are based on cognitive behavioral therapy. These classes, like "Thinking for a Change," try to teach prisoners thinking tools to help them evaluate their thinking and adjust their typical behaviors before they act. These classes are attempting to teach intentionality. 

I, too, try to teach a form of cognitive behavioral theory when I teach about relapse prevention plans. These plans are designed to help prisoners to think about their triggers, how they have responded to these triggers in the past, and to make plans for how to respond differently in the future. 

One exercise I like to use is to help prisoners think through the values they claim to hold. Then we discuss how well they are actually living out those values. This process was very helpful for me when I first came to prison. Most of us, inside and outside prison, don't very well live into the values we claim to hold. Perhaps that's what a saying I commonly hear in prison is trying to convey: "Don't just talk about it. Be about it." Or maybe that's just a call to demonstrate one's claimed toughness. 

Anyway, if one claims, for example, to value kindness, they must live a life characterized by kindness. Perfection is not necessary, but consistency is. 

When it comes to gratitude, it's easy to behave with gratitude, temporarily anyway. But, once we feel like we've "evened the scales," we often return to our normal behavior patterns. That's not how gratitude is supposed to work. It's not a currency with which we pay our debts to others. 

I'm profoundly grateful for God's grace and mercy in my life, but nothing I do, no behavior on my part, will ever even the scales. I'm simply incapable of repaying that debt. Yet, it ought not stop me from still living a life of gratitude towards God. I don't always live out that gratitude very well, but I do make a consistent effort to try. 

But these are just words that you're reading. You couldn't possibly know how accurate or truthful they are until you are able to observe my life, my gratitude in action. 

I'm not sure how familiar JFK was with Catholic theologians, but his quote reminds me of the words of St. Francis of Assisi:

"Preach always, and if necessary, use words."