Love Conquers All Things--Even in Prison

 In a recent Breaking the Chains addiction recovery class, I mentioned to the participants that it's easy for us to think others should judge us for who we are today when most people in our past only know us for who we once were. While we've been growing, developing, and changing in prison, the image others have of us often stays the same. 

That means when we leave prison, people from our past will think we're the same person we were when we went in. Nothing could be further from the truth for many of us. 

To change our reputations, though, requires consistent demonstration of change. As one reputation management expert said, the only way to change a bad reputation is to behave your way out of it. 

It's easy to think we're going to be stuck with the damaged reputations that make people in society, and especially those who used to be close to us, fear us or be disgusted with us. Many of us desperately long for a chance to show that we are no longer the person who earned that reputation in the past. 

I'm profoundly grateful to the few people who have gone through my worst choices and have loved me through them. I've learned so much from these people who have shown me that love heals not only wounds but the wounders too. 

I've also experienced joy in prison through forming relationships with people who were not burdened by my past. They were not directly harmed by my past behavior, but they still chose to see me through eyes of grace instead of judgment. This is a giant gift and a motivator to demonstrate that their grace was not misspent. 

Christians from different churches who came into prison and showed the love of Christ to me, especially through Celebration Fellowship and Calvin University, helped to heal my soul. Other prisoners who could have judged me but instead chose to be my friend inspired me to trust a little bit again. 

It's easy to feel too broken to be loved again. We are often our biggest critics, the loudest voices of judgment. But then we meet someone who sees our deepest wounds, the darkest parts of our past, and who chooses to love us anyway. It's a dizzying experience. 

I never thought I'd find love again, but I have, even from within the terribly isolating confines of prison. For reasons I don't know if I'll ever understand, my girlfriend of nearly two-and-a-half years now was inspired by something I had written. Yet, most astounding is that she has chosen to love me in the most difficult of circumstances, despite knowing about my past. 

The love I've experienced, from my girlfriend and others I've mentioned here, has changed me. I hope it's made me a better man. I hope it's taught me to love with more grace and to even let go of the self-loathing that at one time threatened to keep me in an emotional prison for the rest of my life. 

I've deserved the judgment of people from my past, but the kind of love I find I have today...that's nothing but grace.