One of the most important lessons I've learned in prison is the importance of community. I've written about this before, but we don't live in isolation. Our behavior affects others in ways we can't even anticipate or imagine. But, we're also not alone. We don't have to struggle alone, don't have to be so self-reliant that we avoid asking for help.
Throughout my years in prison, I've cultivated relationships with men who I trust to help me identify blind spots, guide me when I'm confused about what to do, and generally to encourage me to grow spiritually, emotionally, and psychologically. There aren't a lot of men I trust like that, but there are some remarkable men of God in prison! It's encouraging to know that God's redemptive work even extends to prison.
The problem is that most of my male support network is in prison, and I'm leaving soon. Prison and parole rules prohibit communication between prisoners in different prisons and between parolees and prisoners. Since I have been isolated in prison for these years, I haven't developed many spiritual mentors outside of prison. But, I'm confident that God will work that out. I just have to stay committed to cultivating these kind of important relationships.
I'm profoundly grateful for the positive influence my mom, girlfriend, one brother, and a couple of friends have had on my life over the years. Yes, I've had to put in the work to change my thinking and to become consistently driven by my values, but that work is so much easier when you have positive reinforcement.
It would have been easy for the people I love and who love me to give up on me when I made some of the worst choices I've ever made. Many did give up on me. But those who chose to stick with me are a large reason for the man I am today. This is one reason why the lessons I've learned about the importance of community have had such a positive impact on my life.
When I was in the Calvin Prison Initiative and attended the Celebration Fellowship church at a prison in Ionia, Michigan, my thinking and the choices I made were literally influenced by these communities. And I continue to be influenced by the "community" of loved ones who speak truth and encouragement into my life.
Soon, I'll be joining other communities. I'm not sure where I'll fit in, but I'm confident that I'll find my place. I'm confident in this because I already feel like I have a place in the hearts of my loved ones. And love is not a limited resource. It's a multiplying factor.
I hope that I can be the kind of person who loves others through their worst choices. It's far easier to judge from a distance. The more difficult choice is to choose to take the risk of investing in someone who's already proven that they can make stupid choices. That's another valuable lesson I've learned and am still learning from those who love me--the difficult things are the things worth doing. And loving people (me, for example) through their worst has GOT to be one of the most difficult things those who love me have ever done.
Every choice we make, but especially the kind of people we chose to be, influences others in ways we may never know. I hope that the changes I've made over the years yield a good return for those I love who have invested so much. Thank you to all those who chose to do the hard things.
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