It's All Mixed Up! Unbelievable Prison Priorities

 The other day in the prison chow hall, I got my tray and drink and turned around to make sure my buddy who'd walked to chow with me was still right behind me. It's pretty routine for people in prison to go to chow with a buddy, though we have to sit where we're told to sit. There's a seating order, so we often try to adjust where we are in the line so we can sit together. It's not really a big deal to me, but it doesn't take much effort to try. 

So, I paused for less than 5 seconds to let my buddy catch up. That pause prompted an officer to yell at me, "Let's go! Keep it moving!" Despite the fact that prison officials are never in a hurry to do things like open the yard, or clear count, or fix broken phones or email kiosks, or answer kites from prisoners...getting seated in the chow hall is apparently urgent. 

I was already in the process of turning to go to my seat when I got yelled at. But I found it laughable that as I headed to my seat, an officer in training shook her head and said out loud, "Unbelievable!" It literally made me laugh and respond (also out loud), "Yeah! Unbelievable that someone paused for five seconds! What a tragedy!"

I don't really fault the trainee for having her priorities mixed up. It's how she was trained. One of the most important things they learn first is to yell at prisoners in the chow hall to take off their hats (while wearing hats of their own). Never mind the phones that are controlled by gangs that they do nothing about. Or the prison drug dealers they know about but do nothing to stop. 

Never mind the broken walkways that routinely trip up elderly prisoners with walkers or canes, or the fact that the medical staff refuse to treat prisoners who are literally dying from medical malpractice. Never mind the fact that prisoners with porter jobs don't do their jobs and the showers don't get cleaned for days on end. Nope. What's MOST important is that we prisoners take our hats off and head to our seats without 5 seconds of interruption in the chow hall. 

I'm not suggesting that we prisoners always have our priorities straight either. We certainly don't. We often tend to catastrophize minor things and to focus on the wrong things. But aren't prison staff supposed to model pro-social behaviors? It's hard to take seriously advice about our own priorities when we see such imbalance in what prison staff feel is important. 

I think all new prison officers should have to start their careers in higher security levels. There, the officers are usually more focused on real reasons for security, not yelling at people when they pause for five seconds while heading to their seats. It's just boggles my mind how petty officers can be in prison sometimes. Only one word comes to mind: 

Unbelievable!