Character isn't something you are born with. Character is something you develop over time. Perhaps one of the hardest 'pillars' to keep is Trustworthiness.
Trust is something earned over time, but lost in a moment. While many in prison never develop trustworthiness in their lives, others banked a healthy deposit of trustworthiness, only to lose it all in a brief moment, or in a series of poor choices.
Trustworthiness encompasses qualities like honesty, integrity, reliability, and loyalty.
Once lost, trust is difficult to regain. Difficult, but not impossible. Prisoners and former prisoners are inherently mistrusted. Perhaps this is warranted. It's wise in today's world to require trust to be earned rather than freely given until violated.
But anyone, prisoner, former prisoner, or not, can earn trust again. They can rebuild a broken pillar of trustworthiness by investing in a life characterized by honesty, integrity, reliability and loyalty.
Consistent honesty in communication and conduct are essential to a life of trustworthiness. Integrity means being undivided. The same when someone's paying attention or not.
Reliability means keeping your promised and avoiding unwise commitments.
Loyalty involves putting the interests of certain people or affiliations above your own. It means a responsibility of looking after those interests.
Rebuilding trust is a long, hard process. But it's a process that pays dividends as much on the journey as at the destination.
Be wise in how you do it, but give people a chance to rebuild trust with you. Look for ways to foster growth of these qualities in yourself and others. Sometimes trust regained is more valuable than the trust that first was lost.
Thursday, December 26, 2013
Monday, December 23, 2013
A Christmas Hope
I know I promised a follow-up on the Character Pillars and it will be coming. But I wanted to take advantage of the season to remind you, my dear readers, what this blog is about: HOPE.
I heard something significant today that I thought I should share. It was that Hope is not something you lose. It's something you give up. The Christmas story holds so many examples of hope, and of people who held onto hope when it didn't make sense anymore.
I love the example of Zacharias and Elizabeth, the parents of John "the Baptist". Both hoped for a child, but slowly they gave up hope as their age got in the way. But God (two of the most powerful words in the bible) had a different plan. He not only gave them their desire of a child but He gave them a son who became the one who prepared the way for the Messiah.
Likewise, the Jewish people hoped for a savior from Roman oppression, but God gave them a Deliverer Who would redeem the world.
You see, God always finishes what He starts. So this Christmas season as you think on the situations in yoru life that you might have given up hope on, remember that you have to separate time from faith. God always carries out what He starts, and often in bigger ways than we could have hoped for.
Merry Christmas my friends! May the God of Hope be with you. Be blessed, and be well.
I heard something significant today that I thought I should share. It was that Hope is not something you lose. It's something you give up. The Christmas story holds so many examples of hope, and of people who held onto hope when it didn't make sense anymore.
I love the example of Zacharias and Elizabeth, the parents of John "the Baptist". Both hoped for a child, but slowly they gave up hope as their age got in the way. But God (two of the most powerful words in the bible) had a different plan. He not only gave them their desire of a child but He gave them a son who became the one who prepared the way for the Messiah.
Likewise, the Jewish people hoped for a savior from Roman oppression, but God gave them a Deliverer Who would redeem the world.
You see, God always finishes what He starts. So this Christmas season as you think on the situations in yoru life that you might have given up hope on, remember that you have to separate time from faith. God always carries out what He starts, and often in bigger ways than we could have hoped for.
Merry Christmas my friends! May the God of Hope be with you. Be blessed, and be well.
Monday, December 2, 2013
Building on Character Pillars
I'm currently participating in an excellent program being offered to some prisoners in Michigan. Chance for Life offers a two-and-a-half year program in Michigan prisons that is designed to help people develop the skills that will enable them to turn their lives around and become productive members of society. CFL is hoping to become a wrap-around program for the MDOC and they are working towards that end.
In our recent class we were talking about the importance of building character, in particular the ones CFL calls 'Character Pillars'. Although other character qualities are probably as important, CFL focuses on Trustworthiness, Respect, Responsibility, Fairness, Caring, and Citizenship. These are considered by CFL, the six core ethical values, and as such are considered 'pillars' on which the rest of our character rests.
Surprisingly, many prisoners hold others (and sometimes themselves) to a high standard of ethics in some areas of their lives. The problem is congruence. It's easy to show respect to those you hold respect for, and then not only fail to, but refuse to give it to others.
The next few posts I'll talk about these character pillars and in particular, how they relate to Michigan prisoners.
In our recent class we were talking about the importance of building character, in particular the ones CFL calls 'Character Pillars'. Although other character qualities are probably as important, CFL focuses on Trustworthiness, Respect, Responsibility, Fairness, Caring, and Citizenship. These are considered by CFL, the six core ethical values, and as such are considered 'pillars' on which the rest of our character rests.
Surprisingly, many prisoners hold others (and sometimes themselves) to a high standard of ethics in some areas of their lives. The problem is congruence. It's easy to show respect to those you hold respect for, and then not only fail to, but refuse to give it to others.
The next few posts I'll talk about these character pillars and in particular, how they relate to Michigan prisoners.
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