What Happens When "Mistakes" Define Us

 I do not come from a family or community where incarceration is a normal part of life. My own life has been fairly sheltered from arrests, jails, and prisons, until my own arrest. I had the luxury of seeing law enforcement primarily in a positive light. But that is not the experience of many, many Americans. When one's friend or family member is arrested and goes to prison, it's simply not that unusual. 

But about ten years ago, a friend of mine was arrested, charged, convicted, and sent to prison. His crime was not against me, but the betrayal I felt because of his behavior led me to turn my back on him. I never contacted him or visited him because I felt like he had made his bed and now had to lie in it. 

Sadly, this attitude is all too common in communities where crime and prison are not a normal part of life. 

Now that I have had my own experience of rejection by most of my former friends (and even family), I realize how wrong I was to abandon my friend. He made some poor choices, for sure, but he owned those choices and worked on fixing the issues in his life that led to his crime. Still, I had left him to do that work alone, unsupported by me who once cared about him as a friend. 

Shimone Peres, Israel's Prime Minister in 1985 also faced a similar conflict when someone he considered a friend made a choice that hurt Peres, a choice that hurt many Jews. President Ronald Reagan had accepted an invitation from Germany to visit the Kolmeshohe Cemetery at Bitburg, Germany, where dozens of SS officers had been buried. This visit was prompted by post-war reconciliation efforts, and Reagan believed his visit would promote reconciliation. But Peres saw it as a betrayal of their friendship. 

Germany, and especially the SS officers buried at Kolmeshohe, had done unthinkable harm to Jews. While Peres supported reconciliation, he believed Reagan's visit to the cemetery was a big mistake. Remarkably, when asked about this conflict between his friendship with Reagan and his disagreement with Reagan's choices, Peres responded, 

"When a friend makes a mistake, the friend remains a friend, and the mistake remains a mistake." 

I don't believe my poor choices, or the poor choices of my friend were "mistakes." They were much more serious than simple lapses in judgment. But the moral of the story remains the same. I should have supported my friend, should have walked alongside him as he worked to repair the harm he'd caused by his choices. I'm so grateful that a few people have had the grace to do that for me, though I'm saddened by the other relationships I've lost due to my choices. 

By a twist of what I can only see as an act of God, a few years ago I did get to ask my friend's forgiveness for abandoning him in his time of greatest need. I wish I had let him remain a friend and his mistake remain a mistake instead of tying the two together. We all make bad choices at times, some worse than others, but a true friend will walk with you through the worse choices you make and urge you back to being the best person you're capable of being. 

Many of the prisoners who thrive and leave prison changed (for the better) do so precisely because they have people in their lives who can separate a person's bad choices from who they are. We all need these true north friends who can help light the way back to where we belong.

Immature, Toxic Behavior - Prisoners Don't Have a Monopoly on It

 Today, I walked around our small yard with a friend, and we were both struck by how much anti-social and immature behavior we were seeing among the prisoners around us. We both just came from a prison facility where more prisoners were engaged in education and were, by self-selection, more mature than the typical prisoner. Now, I am in a level one prison where some prisoners are serving very short sentences. Many of them have been in prison for less than three years. And it shows. 

Gang bangers flash gang signs to each other and hold phones hostage, keeping anyone but their homies from using them. Others stand in the way of people walking, chests puffed out like they're tough. It's just posturing, but they think they're actually making a statement. Mostly young prisoners call each other names that only a decade ago would have gotten them beat up. Today, these names are terms of endearment. 

Even older prisoners, who ought to have grown out of their foolishness, stand around talking about the "glory days" when they were beating people up or getting high. Not recognizing that they are celebrating the very things that have stolen their lives and freedom, they long to return for just one more hoorah!

It's discouraging at times, and a little daunting to realize that I'm trying to help these same people improve their lives. It feels a bit hopeless, like I'm trying to plug a hole in the side of the Titanic. I have to imagine that the few prison administrators who believe in prisoners' capacity to change feel immensely discouraged at times too. It's hard to hold onto that belief when there's so much evidence to the contrary.

But as much immaturity and toxicity as I see in prison, if what I see on the news is any indication of reality, it's not much better outside of prison. It concerns me. I wonder how the few prisoners who want to change will make it when they leave prison. They already have so much working against them, but to return to a world as chaotic, immoral, and self-centered as it appears to be...it's no wonder our recidivism rates are high. 

When our nation is as fractured as it is, when politicians are more concerned with holding onto or gaining power than solving problems, who is modeling good citizenship? Why should these prisoners become moral citizens when our nation's leaders are crooks of a different ilk? I guess we prisoners are not the only ones who need a morality check, a thinking and behavior change.

New, Reduced Phone Rates for Michigan Prisoners

 The 2022-2023 Michigan budget Governor Whitmer recently signed into law has affected the cost of phone calls for Michigan prisoners. The new budget eliminates the "special equipment fund" that the DOC has used to purchase cameras, tasers, bulletproof vests (why?), and other "special equipment." Despite a Michigan law prohibiting the MDOC from receiving "kickbacks" from phone calls and other costs imposed on prisoners, they have been doing just that for years. Of course, they called it a "special equipment fund" instead of a kickback, but that's just semantics. 

As a result of this fund, the contract price for phone calls (four-and-a-half cents per minute 10 years ago), has been over twenty cents per minute for years. The extra cost has been used to fund prison "security" items like those listed above. 

Now that the new budget eliminates this fund, the cost of phone calls for prisoners has been cut in half. I don't know why the cost isn't less than five cents per minute, but even nine cents per minute is half the cost it used to be. That's something to be grateful for!

Research has shown that when prisoners maintain contact with their families and communities, they are much less likely to re-offend upon release from prison. Lower phone costs make maintaining contact with loved ones easier. Just as the cost of groceries has been drastically rising outside of prison, commissary costs in prison have also been rising, up by 50% in many cases. These lower phone costs are extremely timely for many prisoners. 

Incarceration is expensive, for states, for prisoners, and for prisoners' families. But unnecessarily burdening families and making it difficult for prisoners to maintain family and community ties doesn't serve the aim of public safety. If the goal of incarceration is safer communities, then policies that promote lowering recidivism, like cost-effective family contact, ought to be a priority. I'm grateful that in this case, at least, we're headed in the right direction. 

Now, if legislators could just stop hurdling sound bites that make it seem like they care about prison reform and reducing crime (but really don't), our state might actually begin to create safer communities. Data informed action, not sound bites, are what lead to effective reforms.

"All Convicts are Liars," and Other Myths about Prisoners

During a recent visit to our prison medical services, I had an interesting interaction with several staff members. After the corrections officer made a big deal about me wearing state issued shoes instead of tennis shoes to medical appointments (this hasn't been a problem in nearly 10 years), the nurse asked me why it mattered so much to me. I explained that changing my shoes was not the problem. Overzealous officers enforcing personal preferences was. I also said that I don't like being lied to by corrections officers (in this case, about what prison policy allegedly says or means). 

The nurse's response not only revealed her personal bias, but it also reflected a common sentiment among many people outside of prison. She said, "Well, that's ironic since convicts are known to be liars."

After explaining to her that her statement was a gross overgeneralization, I reflected back that in my own experience, I've been lied to by prison administrators as much as I've been lied to by other prisoners. Her response? "Touche." Apparently, she's also been lied to by prison administrators.

The reality is, neither all prisoners are liars, nor are all administrators. But some prisoners do routinely lie, and some administrators, including medical staff, routinely lie to prisoners. It's simply unfair to generalize those realities to the rest of the population, whichever population we mean. I know some wonderful prison administrators, and I know some who could probably never get a job outside of corrections. The same goes for prisoners. 

Sadly, many people outside of prison think of us prisoners as liars, thieves, violent, and rapists. And those labels certainly describe some prisoners, but they don't describe all prisoners. These overgeneralized labels have taken on a mythical quality. Furthermore, what someone may have done to put themselves in prison does not define them for the rest of their lives. 

While the belief that "past behavior is a good indicator of future behavior" does hold some validity, it fails to account for people's capacity to change. I personally know many prisoners who were once very violent who are now peaceful people and who condemn violence, including their own past violence. The same goes for those who were once liars, thieves, or rapists. 

I'm sure the nurse I interacted with has had her perspective on prisoners reinforced by negative interactions while doing her job. Some prisoners do lie about medical conditions to get medications for various nefarious purposes. But many more prisoners are terribly frustrated by the lack of proper medical care in prison, for legitimate medical needs. 

As a prisoner, I take offense to being categorized as a liar simply because I am a prisoner. Wearing a prison uniform (with tennis shoes or state issued shoes) may make me look like other prisoners, but it does not mean I fit the preconceived notions of prison employees or of the general public. 

I recognize that prisoners have an uphill battle to disprove these preconceived notions, and I work every day to dispel these myths about me personally. But I'm also working with other prisoners to help them not only present themselves in ways that counteract these myths, but also to live up to their claims that they are different. It's an often frustrating endeavor to fight against prejudices held by so many, but it's a battle worth fighting. I refuse to live up to the negative expectations people have of me. 

Is Simply Surviving a Prison Assault Enough?

 For the last six years, I had been at a prison that was very focused on education and programs. Though prisoners used to refer to that prison as "Gladiator School," the entire prison population there had changed, and it was a fairly safe place to serve time. It had its problems, for sure, but fights and violence were uncommon. 

Yet, the day before I transferred to the prison where I am currently housed, a really violent assault occurred in my housing unit. It was the worst assault I had seen in nearly a decade. What's worse is that the person assaulted was a young guy I had been quietly encouraging to start making better choices with his life. 

His involvement with gangs and nefarious activities in prison was contrary to the goals he claimed to have for his life. He had already experienced a remarkable blessing, receiving a short five years for a crime that normally earned more than a decade in prison. But he still felt the pull towards what were poor decisions for his life. 

After the assault, the scene left me believing that he had been hurt really bad, perhaps even experiencing permanent disability. I prayed for him and worried for him, but leaving the next morning, I was in the dark as to his condition. 

So, imagine my surprise when I saw him in the housing unit yard next to mine, just a month after his attack! He was doing well, and recovering well from his injuries. Other than some permanent scars, he suffered no long-term injuries, a remarkable reality given the scene I'd observed. 

We had a good opportunity to talk, for me to encourage some major changes in his life, and for me to tell him how God must have His hand on his life. I also expressed my relief, knowing that he is doing okay.

The reality is that these kinds of assaults are fairly common in some prisons, and many of them are gang related. Sadly, gang life does not end at the prison gates. In fact, some prisoners actually believe that joining a gang in prison will keep them safer. As my friend discovered, that's simply not the case. I would argue that, in fact, it increases one's danger. 

These are complex decisions for young people in dangerous circumstances, so I don't condemn their choices. But I do wish they believed there were better options. I don't know if this assault will change the course of my friend’s life, but I hope it does. He has too much potential to sacrifice it to prison cliches.