"Hurt people hurt other people."
Maybe you've heard this saying before. You have probably heard the stories of abused children growing up to be abusers, or of bullied children growing up to be serial killers. Of course, these stories do not mean that all abused children grow up to abuse others, or that all bullied children grow up to be serial killers. But these stories do reinforce the truth that hurt people hurt other people. And prison is full of hurting people.
A person's pain does not excuse his choice to hurt other people. When a person hurts another he must be held accountable for his behavior. But how should society ensure accountability while still addressing the hurt underlying an offender's behaviors?
Our current system does little, if anything, to address these hurts. Some attempts are made to address from a group perspective the psychological issues and mental processes an offender deals with, but do these attempts heal the individual hurts?
If hurt people hurt other people then to truly affect a change in an offender we must address this underlying pain.
Many prisoners do not recognize the connection between their own hurts and their choice to hurt others. This requires a deep honesty and personal reflection that may uncover hidden pain that has remained long buried.
This process at its root a spiritual process that involves forgiveness and repentance, and one that uncovers and heals the shame identity of the hurt offender. In reality, we can not expect the prison system to provide the answers to these problems. It is the responsibility of spiritual people and those who have healed from their own hurts to help offenders heal. Only healing can break the cycle of hurting.
Friday, March 25, 2016
Friday, March 18, 2016
Freedom is no longer a dream for juvenile lifers
Recently I woke up at 6 a.m. and when I opened my eyes I saw a man whose bunk is across from mine up and listening to his music through headphones. His eyes were closed as he rocked gently to the tunes piped into his ears. Just by looking at him I could see that he had transported himself mentally outside of prison. While this is not uncommon among prisoners, I knew that for this prisoner a recent Supreme Court decision had prompted his restlessness.
In 1983, this prisoner, I'll call him H.B., was sentenced to LIFE in prison for his part in a robbery where someone died. He was seventeen at the time of his crime. Although H.B. was not directly responsible for the victim's death, under Michigan law his involvement in the robbery made him guilty of felony murder. He certainly feels responsible for the life that was lost because of a robbery he participated in.
By his own admission, H.B. behaved badly his first several years in prison. He was a teenager facing the rest of his life in prison. At some point, he realized he could not be angry forever and he began to find ways to help others. Today he is actively involved in Chance For Life, and he especially enjoys facilitating Houses of Healing classes for young offenders.
Even though his sentence said he would never again be free, he gave back anyway, and he kept hope alive that one day he would walk outside the razorwire again.
When the Supreme Court ruled automatic LIFE sentences for juvenile offenders unconstitutional, H.B.'s hope became a reality and within the next year or two he will likely be free again.
While some people may think that this ruling diminishes the value of the lives lost that these offenders represent, after talking to some of these men and also coming to understand a juvenile's lack of comprehending the magnitude of the consequences of his crimes, I am firmly convinced that the Supreme Court's ruling was right.
For H.B. and other men like him, I know they will honor the lives of their victims by giving back to their communities. A second chance of this magnitude can not be squandered.
In H.B.'s own words, "It does not seem real at all. I call it walking among the living. One day not knowing if you will ever be free, to the next day knowing that your prayers have been answered. Yes, it is unbelievable but true. Make no mistake about it: There IS a God! Even so, I have been through a lot. I have also accomplished a lot since my incarceration. My greatest debt is owed to the victims and their families. I still hold the greatest remorse for them all. That is from my heart and soul. I am blessed and very excited, not only to show my family but also society the man that I have become after serving 32 years in prison.
In 1983, this prisoner, I'll call him H.B., was sentenced to LIFE in prison for his part in a robbery where someone died. He was seventeen at the time of his crime. Although H.B. was not directly responsible for the victim's death, under Michigan law his involvement in the robbery made him guilty of felony murder. He certainly feels responsible for the life that was lost because of a robbery he participated in.
By his own admission, H.B. behaved badly his first several years in prison. He was a teenager facing the rest of his life in prison. At some point, he realized he could not be angry forever and he began to find ways to help others. Today he is actively involved in Chance For Life, and he especially enjoys facilitating Houses of Healing classes for young offenders.
Even though his sentence said he would never again be free, he gave back anyway, and he kept hope alive that one day he would walk outside the razorwire again.
When the Supreme Court ruled automatic LIFE sentences for juvenile offenders unconstitutional, H.B.'s hope became a reality and within the next year or two he will likely be free again.
While some people may think that this ruling diminishes the value of the lives lost that these offenders represent, after talking to some of these men and also coming to understand a juvenile's lack of comprehending the magnitude of the consequences of his crimes, I am firmly convinced that the Supreme Court's ruling was right.
For H.B. and other men like him, I know they will honor the lives of their victims by giving back to their communities. A second chance of this magnitude can not be squandered.
In H.B.'s own words, "It does not seem real at all. I call it walking among the living. One day not knowing if you will ever be free, to the next day knowing that your prayers have been answered. Yes, it is unbelievable but true. Make no mistake about it: There IS a God! Even so, I have been through a lot. I have also accomplished a lot since my incarceration. My greatest debt is owed to the victims and their families. I still hold the greatest remorse for them all. That is from my heart and soul. I am blessed and very excited, not only to show my family but also society the man that I have become after serving 32 years in prison.
Friday, March 11, 2016
How Restorative Justice Can Help Heal
Crime, by definition, is the breaking of a law as established by the governing bodies of society. Endemic in these laws are punishments deemed appropriate to the particular crime. The criminal justice system is primarily focused on the punishment part of holding an offender responsible for committing crimes. This focus on the particular law that was broken often leaves the victim and the harms the victim experienced out of the process. Sure, the courts give victims, or their families, opportunities to speak, but the law that was broken, not the harms to the victim, are central to the process of the justice system.
The focus of restorative justice is on the harm to the victims. This means identifying the particular harms, whether financial, emotional, physical, or psychological, and focusing on the obligations that have resulted because of these harms. Restorative justice is not intended to replace the responsibilities of the justice system in punishing crime, but it is focused on how to restore the victim and community to a pre-offense condition, as much as possible, and how to engage the offender in accepting responsibility to right those wrongs.
Defining what it means to right wrongs is challenging in many situations. Some wrongs can never "be made right." Some things can never be restored. But by engaging the victim, or victim's family, in the process those wronged have a voice in defining what it means to make things right. When an offender is engaged in this process and he is given an opportunity to apologize, answer questions, and take ownership of his behavior, healing for both the victim and offender will usually follow.
From an offender's point of view, I see prison serving its function of punishment, but it provides no opportunity to make things right with and for my victim. For me, the most important part of healing my own brokenness is working to heal the harms I've done. This is why I have a keen interest in restorative justice.
The focus of restorative justice is on the harm to the victims. This means identifying the particular harms, whether financial, emotional, physical, or psychological, and focusing on the obligations that have resulted because of these harms. Restorative justice is not intended to replace the responsibilities of the justice system in punishing crime, but it is focused on how to restore the victim and community to a pre-offense condition, as much as possible, and how to engage the offender in accepting responsibility to right those wrongs.
Defining what it means to right wrongs is challenging in many situations. Some wrongs can never "be made right." Some things can never be restored. But by engaging the victim, or victim's family, in the process those wronged have a voice in defining what it means to make things right. When an offender is engaged in this process and he is given an opportunity to apologize, answer questions, and take ownership of his behavior, healing for both the victim and offender will usually follow.
From an offender's point of view, I see prison serving its function of punishment, but it provides no opportunity to make things right with and for my victim. For me, the most important part of healing my own brokenness is working to heal the harms I've done. This is why I have a keen interest in restorative justice.
Friday, March 4, 2016
Does Prison Make a Dad a Deadbeat?
Let's get this out of the way first: I know that when a father chooses to commit a crime he is intentionally choosing to put at risk his daily involvement in his children's lives. If that is the only criteria necessary for a dad to be a deadbeat then Michigan's prisons are full of deadbeat dads.
Even if the criteria were more expansive and included men who continue to put themselves first and ignore the needs of their children, or who fail to speak into their children's lives from prison, then Michigan's prisons are still full of deadbeat dads.
Some men in prison, however, want to be a part of their children's lives. If the mothers of these children have an amicable relationship with the father these children benefit from whatever input the prisoner is able to make into his children's lives.
But what happens when a prisoner wants to be a part of his children's lives and the children's mother or mothers refuse to make a relationship possible? From a legal standpoint some of these men still have parental rights, but it is extremely difficult to enforce these rights from behind prison razorwire.
One prisoner I know, who goes by the name "Words", has worked hard to save money from his prison job to buy clothes for his daughter, but because his daughter's mother refuses to cooperate, Words has been unable to bless his own daughter from within prison. I have seen Words struggle to find ways to invest in his children's lives, even trying to talk to them on the phone, but to no avail.
It is no secret that prison tends to run in families. This is not a genetic predisposition though. One factor certainly is the absence of fathers from their children's lives. Yet, these children would benefit from the lessons learned through the poor choices made by their fathers, if only the mothers would make it possible.
Some men want to make right their wrongs, however much they can. Not being a deadbeat dad is a top priority, yet their past decisions hinder them from accomplishing this. As long as these men are in prison their involvement in their children's lives remains at the mercy and whims of the children's mothers.
Even if the criteria were more expansive and included men who continue to put themselves first and ignore the needs of their children, or who fail to speak into their children's lives from prison, then Michigan's prisons are still full of deadbeat dads.
Some men in prison, however, want to be a part of their children's lives. If the mothers of these children have an amicable relationship with the father these children benefit from whatever input the prisoner is able to make into his children's lives.
But what happens when a prisoner wants to be a part of his children's lives and the children's mother or mothers refuse to make a relationship possible? From a legal standpoint some of these men still have parental rights, but it is extremely difficult to enforce these rights from behind prison razorwire.
One prisoner I know, who goes by the name "Words", has worked hard to save money from his prison job to buy clothes for his daughter, but because his daughter's mother refuses to cooperate, Words has been unable to bless his own daughter from within prison. I have seen Words struggle to find ways to invest in his children's lives, even trying to talk to them on the phone, but to no avail.
It is no secret that prison tends to run in families. This is not a genetic predisposition though. One factor certainly is the absence of fathers from their children's lives. Yet, these children would benefit from the lessons learned through the poor choices made by their fathers, if only the mothers would make it possible.
Some men want to make right their wrongs, however much they can. Not being a deadbeat dad is a top priority, yet their past decisions hinder them from accomplishing this. As long as these men are in prison their involvement in their children's lives remains at the mercy and whims of the children's mothers.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)