Please Use the F-Word!

I am still astounded from time to time by the filthy language I hear every day in prison, although sadly, I've been desensitized to much of it. But there is one word I don't hear enough of--that is the F-word. 

No, I'm not talking about the four letter F-word. I'm talking about the eleven letter F-word: Forgiveness. 

How ironic is it that the apostle Peter who asked Jesus how often he should forgive an offender was the same man that Jesus graciously forgave and restored after Peter had denied even knowing Jesus in His greatest hour of need.

This struggle, of wanting forgiveness when we have offended or harmed someone else, yet resisting offering forgiveness to another, often for a much lesser offense, is a problem common to human nature. But it is especially evident among those of us in prison. 

Maybe it is because prisoners struggle so much with attitudes of entitlement, or maybe it's just more evident because of the closeness of this community. Either way, forgiveness is a choice each of us must make daily.

You might wonder what prisoners have to forgive. After all, aren't WE the ones greatly in need of forgiveness? Yes, that's true. We have much to be forgiven, and some of us may go a lifetime without ever hearing the words "I forgive you." But if we are to hope for forgiveness from those we have harmed, we too much be willing to extend forgiveness and grace to those who have wronged us. 

For some prisoners that may include an overzealous prosecutor or a lying witness. For others it may be another prisoner who has harmed us, or a family who has abandoned us. It may even include corrections officers or staff who have disrespected us or treated us as less than human. Whatever the case, as Jesus also said, "To whom much is given, much is required."

Rather than waiting for the ones we have harmed to forgive us, we can begin to extend that same grace we long for to others who have harmed us. For most of us the grievance we may have against another doesn't even compare to the harm we have caused.

Forgiveness is a vital part of restorative justice, and prisoners who long to take part in restorative justice practices can begin by forgiving and attempting to reconcile with those who have offended us. We must practice what we wish to have from others.

For more information on the aspect of forgiveness in restorative justice, and to read compelling stories of forgiveness, check out The Forgiveness Project. (www.TheForgivenessProject.com)