It's Hard to Judge Up Close, So Move In

I am, by nature, very curious, and I like to learn new things. This means I read a lot when I am curious about something. Sometimes, in the course of researching a topic, I have run across "For Dummies" books that have been helpful in giving me a broad overview. That's what those books are designed for.

Imagine my surprise, and frankly my amusement, when walking back from dinner the other day I saw a prison social worker, or perhaps a psychologist, carrying a book that caught my eye. He was carrying a book titled Case Management for Dummies. I imagine this book provides very practical advice and step-by-step instructions for particular situations a case manager might face, particularly in prison. But it occurred to me that a professional case manager ought not need a "For Dummies" book. To be fair, I know nothing about the person carrying this book. For all I know, he might not be a case manager. Maybe this book was something he was studying on his own, or maybe he, too, has a high level of curiosity and likes to learn new things. Or maybe he is a case manager who finds the book particularly helpful to keep things simple.

What I do know is that I made a snap judgment about this man, because I have tended to believe prison social workers and psychologists are not very competent at their jobs. But that is an unfair conclusion. I have very little experience or interaction with these professionals, and they very well may have a high level of competence. It must take a special person to want to work with prisoners, and to work with mentally ill prisoners, an even more special person. I can't imagine it is an easy job. I actually have a lot of respect for those who commit themselves to caring for the needs of others, in this case, prisoners' psychological needs.

While I was amused by seeing this book in the hands of a prison employee, the lesson I learned is that we have to be careful about the snap judgments we make of others. Prisoners carry the stigma and scars of their past with them in ways that often show up in how they present themselves. It is easy to make snap judgments because of someone's looks, lack of employment history, lack of education, or simply the fact of their incarceration. But these things rarely tell the full story of the person. We have to look past the surface to find out who someone really is. We have to ask questions and take the time to get to know them.

Everyone's story is different. Carrying a "For Dummies" book doesn't tell this man's full story, and the scars of former poor decision-making doesn't tell a prisoner's full story either. The only way we can discover someone's story is to take the vulnerable step of getting close. As psychologist and author, Brene Brown aptly put it, "People are hard to [judge] up close. Move in."

(Brown quote take from Braving the Wilderness, chapter four title--"People are hard to hate up close. Move in.")