Friday afternoon I sat in the auditorium at Handlon Correctional Facility listening to a visiting special speaker. Kate Grosmaire, the author of *Forgiving My Daughter's Killer,* was the scheduled keynote speaker at the third annual restorative justice conference to be held in Grand Rapids, Michigan the next day. But first, she came to speak to the incarcerated men who had helped organize the conference from within prison. She shared with us her moving story of forgiving the man who killed her daughter.
As I sat and listened to her remarkable story, I looked around me. In the first two rows of men, I counted at least ten murder victims represented. The men who took these victim's lives sat enraptured by Grosmaire's unusual story of forgiveness. Others, too, who were convicted of crimes that did not take anyone's life, listened intently.
Grosmaire's story is unique and moving, but it is also a source of hope for so many of us men in prison. Her story of how she and her husband Steve forgave their daughter's boyfriend, Conor, who killed her represented possibilities so many of us men only dare to dream of. We also identified with the stiff resistance they faced from the judicial system as they sought to meet with Conor in a restorative justice dialogue prior to a plea agreement or trial.
Despite the obstacles and opposition, the Grosmaire's did have a pre-adjudication dialogue with Conor, sharing their hurts and what they needed from him. Because this conference was held in a way that protected Conor from prosecution for anything he said there, he was also free to express his grief and tell the story of what happened. The Grosmaire's were also able to express to the state prosecutor who attended the conference the sentence they wished for Conor. It was much lower than what the State was recommending, but Conor still received a sentence twice what the Grosmaires asked for.
Today, the Grosmaires continue to communicate with Conor. They are pleased to know he is a law clerk in prison, one of only 4% of Florida prisoners who have a prison job. He also facilitates important classes for other prisoners, paying forward the remarkable grace he experienced. Grosmaire stated that she and her husband believe Conor can be an asset to the community when he is released from prison. After all, he is already an asset to his own community within prison.
The Grosmaire's story of grace and forgiveness is so extraordinary because it is so unusual. But their story is also inspiring because it demonstrates the incredible, healing power of forgiveness and holds out hope for redemption--even for the worst of us. As Grosmaire ended her story of loss, grace, and forgiveness, she looked out to her audience of convicted criminals and said, "I believe in redemption. I believe in redemption for everyone." It was a gift of grace she left with us, a hope that we too could find forgiveness and redemption.
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