Don't Just Talk About It. Be About It.

I recently read a beautiful Thanksgiving themed quote, written on a whiteboard by my supervisor at my job in prison. The quote comes from President John F. Kennedy during his Thanksgiving Day proclamation in 1963. He said, 

"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them."

In other words, we best express gratitude by living that gratitude out, not just by verbalizing it. That requires intentionality, though, and not a lot of people live with intentionality. 

We humans, and Americans in particular, are emotionally reactive beings. The ways we behave primarily reflect our emotional states. That's probably why psychologists, for decades now, have focused on "Cognitive Behavioral Therapy." They attempt to teach their clients how to think rationally before they act. 

Some of Michigan's prisoners are required to take classes that are based on cognitive behavioral therapy. These classes, like "Thinking for a Change," try to teach prisoners thinking tools to help them evaluate their thinking and adjust their typical behaviors before they act. These classes are attempting to teach intentionality. 

I, too, try to teach a form of cognitive behavioral theory when I teach about relapse prevention plans. These plans are designed to help prisoners to think about their triggers, how they have responded to these triggers in the past, and to make plans for how to respond differently in the future. 

One exercise I like to use is to help prisoners think through the values they claim to hold. Then we discuss how well they are actually living out those values. This process was very helpful for me when I first came to prison. Most of us, inside and outside prison, don't very well live into the values we claim to hold. Perhaps that's what a saying I commonly hear in prison is trying to convey: "Don't just talk about it. Be about it." Or maybe that's just a call to demonstrate one's claimed toughness. 

Anyway, if one claims, for example, to value kindness, they must live a life characterized by kindness. Perfection is not necessary, but consistency is. 

When it comes to gratitude, it's easy to behave with gratitude, temporarily anyway. But, once we feel like we've "evened the scales," we often return to our normal behavior patterns. That's not how gratitude is supposed to work. It's not a currency with which we pay our debts to others. 

I'm profoundly grateful for God's grace and mercy in my life, but nothing I do, no behavior on my part, will ever even the scales. I'm simply incapable of repaying that debt. Yet, it ought not stop me from still living a life of gratitude towards God. I don't always live out that gratitude very well, but I do make a consistent effort to try. 

But these are just words that you're reading. You couldn't possibly know how accurate or truthful they are until you are able to observe my life, my gratitude in action. 

I'm not sure how familiar JFK was with Catholic theologians, but his quote reminds me of the words of St. Francis of Assisi:

"Preach always, and if necessary, use words."