It's true that there are no block parties, campouts, picnics, afternoons at the beach, or lazy evenings in the hammock sipping a cold beverage in prison. But beautiful weather and a relaxed attitude are two things prison can't keep out.
If you're not a prisoner in higher security levels, who are often restricted to a single hour of rec time per day, you can enjoy the beautiful weather outside. Some possibilities include:
1. Walk (or run) the track with a friend. The fresh air, exercise, and friendly conversation can add a little light to one's day.
2. Play a game of basketball, softball, cornhole, or horseshoes. This is an opportunity to build relationships, as well as have a little fun.
3. Hit the weight pit. Sure, it's warm, and you'll probably sweat a lot, but what else is a workout for?
4. Bring a book outside to read. You might need some music to tune out the noise around you, and you'll probably need a hat to shield the sun and a tea or (Countrytime) lemonade to refresh you.
5. Cook up with some friends. Yes, it's microwaved food, not BBQ, but prison recipes can get creative, and what's summer without a "cookout?"
6. Write some letters. Your bunkie is probably outside enjoying the sun, so the room is quiet, and you can write for a while uninterrupted.
7. Watch a game on TV. If it's summer, it's probably baseball, but it could be golf, tennis, or racing too.
8. Take a nap. Most people are outside, so it'll be quiet. If you really want to go to sleep fast, watch a NASCAR race.
9. Play a game of Scrabble. Okay, this is definitely a great activity year round, but it's a summer possibility, too. So are chess, dominoes, and card games.
10. Write a blog post about ways to spend an afternoon in prison. Or, if you're not into writing blogs, use a summer afternoon for creative writing.
Sure, these activities are missing family and physical freedom, but prison doesn't have to steal all of your joy. While prison is not "normal" for anyone, it can have it's bright moments--but you have to make them happen.
Saturday, August 24, 2019
Forgiveness is not a pardon. But it is a refuge.
"The last time I'd touched Conor, my daughter was alive. I wanted my hug to convey my forgiveness and my love for him. I was immensely sad for this young man whose previous life was over. Everything he could have been, he now had no chance to become. But I wanted him to know that we believed in redemption for him....Forgiveness is not a pardon. But it is a refuge: a place where broken people can come for healing, where the guilty can come for relief, where the wronged can come for hope."
These touching words were spoken by Kate Grosmaire, whose daughter Ann was killed by her boyfriend, and friend of the family, Conor. She tells her compelling story, with all of its visceral emotion, in her book Forgiving My Daughter's Killer. In the midst of their tragedy and deep grief over the loss of their daughter Ann, Kate and her husband Andy chose forgiveness. Inspired by their faith and their love for Conor and his family, Kate and Andy discovered restorative justice and chose to forgive Conor.
As I have written before, forgiveness is a deeply personal and very difficult subject, especially when it involves tragedy and loss. Despite my own growing faith, I find it difficult to comprehend how a mother (and father) could forgive someone who killed their child. I'd like to have a faith that strong, to show the same kind of grace I've been given. I hope I never have to face that challenge.
When I heard that Kate Grossmaire was slated to be the keynote speaker at this year's annual Restorative Justice Conference, I was thrilled. Forgiveness is a difficult thing for many of us, so who better to hear speak on such a difficult subject than someone like Kate who is walking that impossible path already. She will be joined by other speakers, and panel discussions. Although I've never met Kate, and I won't be able to attend the conference (prison officials frown on those sorts of requests), I hope that you'll be able to make it. If you support restorative justice, are curious about it, or even oppose it but are open to hearing more, please register and attend (it's free!). The details for the conference are below. If you'd like to attend, register by October 5, 2019 (and find more details) at: grdiocese.org/ministries/prison-and-jail-ministry/
Date/Time: Saturday, Oct. 19, 2019 - 9AM-3PM.
Location:
Cathedral Square Center
360 Division Ave. S.
Grand Rapids, MI 49503
These touching words were spoken by Kate Grosmaire, whose daughter Ann was killed by her boyfriend, and friend of the family, Conor. She tells her compelling story, with all of its visceral emotion, in her book Forgiving My Daughter's Killer. In the midst of their tragedy and deep grief over the loss of their daughter Ann, Kate and her husband Andy chose forgiveness. Inspired by their faith and their love for Conor and his family, Kate and Andy discovered restorative justice and chose to forgive Conor.
As I have written before, forgiveness is a deeply personal and very difficult subject, especially when it involves tragedy and loss. Despite my own growing faith, I find it difficult to comprehend how a mother (and father) could forgive someone who killed their child. I'd like to have a faith that strong, to show the same kind of grace I've been given. I hope I never have to face that challenge.
When I heard that Kate Grossmaire was slated to be the keynote speaker at this year's annual Restorative Justice Conference, I was thrilled. Forgiveness is a difficult thing for many of us, so who better to hear speak on such a difficult subject than someone like Kate who is walking that impossible path already. She will be joined by other speakers, and panel discussions. Although I've never met Kate, and I won't be able to attend the conference (prison officials frown on those sorts of requests), I hope that you'll be able to make it. If you support restorative justice, are curious about it, or even oppose it but are open to hearing more, please register and attend (it's free!). The details for the conference are below. If you'd like to attend, register by October 5, 2019 (and find more details) at: grdiocese.org/ministries/prison-and-jail-ministry/
Date/Time: Saturday, Oct. 19, 2019 - 9AM-3PM.
Location:
Cathedral Square Center
360 Division Ave. S.
Grand Rapids, MI 49503
Wednesday, August 7, 2019
Be the Change You Wish to See in the World
Two more communities, El Paso, Texas and Dayton, Ohio, were rocked this week by devastating acts of mass shooting violence. Dozens of people lost their lives, and many more were injured or deeply impacted by the loss of loved ones. It is bewildering what motivates someone to carry out such violence against others. The frequency with which these mass acts of violence occur is causing a deeply entrenched panic in society. The randomness of it all, especially the helplessness of how to stop it, leaves law enforcement, lawmakers, and communities feeling profoundly powerless.
News commentators are quick to highlight malicious white nationalism, and prosecutors hastily file hate crime charges. Finger pointing and politicizing begin before the first responders have even secured the scenes. Instead of working towards solutions, the rhetoric surrounding these tragic events devolves into hateful and accusatory exchanges, which only fuel more hatred. Our country is desperately broken, and nobody seems to understand why. Nobody wants to take responsibility.
The nonstop (and tiresomely long) hatred spewed through election campaigns, 24-hour news commentary, and politician Twitter wars can't possibly be to blame. It can't be the endless glorification of violence our children see on television, the internet, and in video games. It must not be the pervasive cyber-bullying our children endure from other children (and adults!) who learned (from where?) how to tear down rivals. Increases in addiction and mental health issues, at ever decreasing ages, certainly can't be to blame. So if none of these are responsible, who or what is?
Despite the fact that crime rates are down nationwide, children today experience trauma at unprecedented levels. According to a 2003 US Census Bureau report, although children under 18 years old represent only 26 percent of the US population, they account for approximately 50 percent of the witnesses and victims of violent acts. And that doesn't even take into account the violence they are exposed to on television, the internet, and through video games. Nearly half of today's teens suffer from the effects of significant trauma, including physical, sexual, and psychological violence.
Some might argue, "yeah, but most kids aren't shooting up schools and malls, so it can't be that." But some are. Should we ignore the trauma our kids are experiencing, protect the corporations who profit from traumatizing our kids, fail to address our own contributions to that trauma, and continue to feed the hate machine through our blame-shifting, finger-pointing rhetoric? No, of course we shouldn't, but we still do.
Every American, whether from the vibrant, bustling crowded streets of New York City or from sleepy, small-town middle-America, has to play a part in turning the tide of hate in our country. We have to take individual responsibility for the anxiety we cause our children through our own hateful attitudes. We have to call out our politicians and news outlets for spreading hate. We have to stop supporting corporations that profit from traumatizing our children. And we have to address addictions, mental health issues, and trauma our children are experiencing earlier and earlier in life.
Individually, we can't do it all. But we can make a difference in our sphere of influence. We can say something when we see something instead of turning away in fear or shame. We can learn (and then teach!) how to have respectful discourse on disagreements. We can stand up for vulnerable people and empower those who feel powerless. If you don't know where to start, start right where you are. Just look around you--but really look. A lot of hurting, powerless people need you
News commentators are quick to highlight malicious white nationalism, and prosecutors hastily file hate crime charges. Finger pointing and politicizing begin before the first responders have even secured the scenes. Instead of working towards solutions, the rhetoric surrounding these tragic events devolves into hateful and accusatory exchanges, which only fuel more hatred. Our country is desperately broken, and nobody seems to understand why. Nobody wants to take responsibility.
The nonstop (and tiresomely long) hatred spewed through election campaigns, 24-hour news commentary, and politician Twitter wars can't possibly be to blame. It can't be the endless glorification of violence our children see on television, the internet, and in video games. It must not be the pervasive cyber-bullying our children endure from other children (and adults!) who learned (from where?) how to tear down rivals. Increases in addiction and mental health issues, at ever decreasing ages, certainly can't be to blame. So if none of these are responsible, who or what is?
Despite the fact that crime rates are down nationwide, children today experience trauma at unprecedented levels. According to a 2003 US Census Bureau report, although children under 18 years old represent only 26 percent of the US population, they account for approximately 50 percent of the witnesses and victims of violent acts. And that doesn't even take into account the violence they are exposed to on television, the internet, and through video games. Nearly half of today's teens suffer from the effects of significant trauma, including physical, sexual, and psychological violence.
Some might argue, "yeah, but most kids aren't shooting up schools and malls, so it can't be that." But some are. Should we ignore the trauma our kids are experiencing, protect the corporations who profit from traumatizing our kids, fail to address our own contributions to that trauma, and continue to feed the hate machine through our blame-shifting, finger-pointing rhetoric? No, of course we shouldn't, but we still do.
Every American, whether from the vibrant, bustling crowded streets of New York City or from sleepy, small-town middle-America, has to play a part in turning the tide of hate in our country. We have to take individual responsibility for the anxiety we cause our children through our own hateful attitudes. We have to call out our politicians and news outlets for spreading hate. We have to stop supporting corporations that profit from traumatizing our children. And we have to address addictions, mental health issues, and trauma our children are experiencing earlier and earlier in life.
Individually, we can't do it all. But we can make a difference in our sphere of influence. We can say something when we see something instead of turning away in fear or shame. We can learn (and then teach!) how to have respectful discourse on disagreements. We can stand up for vulnerable people and empower those who feel powerless. If you don't know where to start, start right where you are. Just look around you--but really look. A lot of hurting, powerless people need you
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