It is easy for us as Americans to react to crime by wanting to remove the criminal from society. We can call it 'tough on crime', or 'justice', or whatever we want to call it, but what it really boils down to is America doesn't know how to deal with the problem of crime. Rather than deal with the root problems, we kick the problem down the road for future generations and future administrations to deal with.
I recently heard on the news that 1 in 107 people in the United States is incarcerated. While the U.S. has 5% of the world's population we have 25% of the world's prison population (35% of the world's population of female prisoners).
No one would deny that crime should be punished as a deterrent to future criminal conduct. But statistics prove that incarceration, particularly lengthy incarceration, does little to reduce the chances of re-offense. Michigan, in particular, cares little about these statistics as they continue to serve up sentences nearly two years longer on average than surrounding states. Michigan prisoners also serve roughly 120% of their minimum sentences while many other states actually offer sentence reductions for good behavior.
America needs to begin looking at positive, long-term alternative solutions to fear-based, lock-em-up-and-throw-away-the-key prison sentences. Victims deserve justice, but true justice involves dealing with the causes of crime, and also promoting restoration and rehabilitation.
America can change its image as the #1 incarcerating nation in the world, and Michigan can lead the way. But it will take courageous leaders who refuse to kick the problem down the road to future generations.
Thursday, December 18, 2014
Thursday, November 6, 2014
Today's Scarlet Letter
In a recent Introduction to Psychology class that I help facilitate we were discussing psychological disorders. As part of the discussion we talked about the labeling effect of diagnosis.
There are essentially two primary effects of labeling with a diagnosis of a psychological disorder. The first is how others see you, and the second is how you see yourself. After being labeled, others tend to see you and interpret your actions through the lens of the label.
What may not normally be considered abnormal behavior now is viewed as abnormal through this lens. Other people may be quick to interpret behavior a certain way because of the label assigned to the individual. Additionally, after a diagnosis that individual is likely to begin interpreting, and possibly justifying, his behavior differently because of the label he's been given. The label may even become a self-fulfilling prophesy as the individual begins to behave in ways that are expected of him.
As we were discussing this subject, I couldn't help but see the parallels to criminals and the labels assigned to them. These labels include "convicted felon", "violent", "dangerous", "thief", "sex-offender", or even "screw-up". Whatever the label is, it effects both how others view us, and how we view ourselves. When we are labeled, even after serving our time, people are quick to view us through the lens of the label we carry. It's like a modern-day Scarlet Letter, especially for sex offenders who are required to keep their label active through registering, or every felon when he applies for a job.
These labels can become a self-fulfilling prophesy for some as they act in ways that are expected of them, or excuse their behaviors by pointing to their labels, as if the public shouldn't be surprised.
To be fair, criminals often earn the labels they've been given, but just like the goal for treating psychological disorders should be a cure, so for criminals, the goal of rehabilitation should be reintegration as "normal" back into society. Persistent, or even permanent labels can make this a nearly impossible task.
It's time we start talking about how to "de-label" convicted criminals who are willing to put in the work to change. Simply throwing a label on someone and putting them back into society after they've served their time does no one any good.
Just as psychological disorders are assigned a treatment plan with a goal of a cure, so rehabilitation plans should be designed with a goal of reintegration and de-labeling after discharge from parole.
There are essentially two primary effects of labeling with a diagnosis of a psychological disorder. The first is how others see you, and the second is how you see yourself. After being labeled, others tend to see you and interpret your actions through the lens of the label.
What may not normally be considered abnormal behavior now is viewed as abnormal through this lens. Other people may be quick to interpret behavior a certain way because of the label assigned to the individual. Additionally, after a diagnosis that individual is likely to begin interpreting, and possibly justifying, his behavior differently because of the label he's been given. The label may even become a self-fulfilling prophesy as the individual begins to behave in ways that are expected of him.
As we were discussing this subject, I couldn't help but see the parallels to criminals and the labels assigned to them. These labels include "convicted felon", "violent", "dangerous", "thief", "sex-offender", or even "screw-up". Whatever the label is, it effects both how others view us, and how we view ourselves. When we are labeled, even after serving our time, people are quick to view us through the lens of the label we carry. It's like a modern-day Scarlet Letter, especially for sex offenders who are required to keep their label active through registering, or every felon when he applies for a job.
These labels can become a self-fulfilling prophesy for some as they act in ways that are expected of them, or excuse their behaviors by pointing to their labels, as if the public shouldn't be surprised.
To be fair, criminals often earn the labels they've been given, but just like the goal for treating psychological disorders should be a cure, so for criminals, the goal of rehabilitation should be reintegration as "normal" back into society. Persistent, or even permanent labels can make this a nearly impossible task.
It's time we start talking about how to "de-label" convicted criminals who are willing to put in the work to change. Simply throwing a label on someone and putting them back into society after they've served their time does no one any good.
Just as psychological disorders are assigned a treatment plan with a goal of a cure, so rehabilitation plans should be designed with a goal of reintegration and de-labeling after discharge from parole.
Thursday, October 30, 2014
Your Place to Belong
I am re-reading my favorite book, The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown, and there's just a treasure-trove of wisdom to be found within its pages.
In one chapter Brown talks about the differences between belonging and fitting in. She points out that fitting in requires you to change who you are for acceptance. Belonging, on the other hand, is about being who you are.
There's a tremendous amount of relevance to prisoners in the subject of belonging versus fitting in. Many prisoners, myself included, are quick to point out what makes us unique from others. We like to celebrate our differences. We somehow believe that being different, however that is defined, is a way to separate ourselves from the obvious dysfunction around us. It's easier to look at others as somehow messed up in the head--that's why they committed their crimes--but to explain our own actions as "mistakes." We don't like to think of ourselves as broken.
Even in the midst of celebrating our differences though, when you look around yourself in prison you see a lot of desperate attempts to fit in. There is rampant gang or religious group affiliation for identification and the feeling of belonging. You also see similar body art (tattoos), and hear the same stories told thousands of times from hundreds of different people, each trying to one-up the other. Granted, there are a lot of similarities among most prisoners: histories of drug or alcohol abuse, poverty, low education, family histories of abuse or neglect, and poor modeling from the influential adults in their lives.
There's already a sense of kinship among many prisoners. But rather than accepting these similarities and using them as a springboard to changing the behaviors that led to incarceration, we tend to look for ways to separate ourselves from the masses, all the while adapting to fit in whatever group we've chose to identify with.
Perhaps this is why so many released prisoners return to prison. Rather than addressing the behaviors that led to prison, and the faulty thinking that led to those behaviors, most prisoners spend their energies adapting to fit into groups already filled with other dysfunctional people.
I've talked several times before about authenticity and I think that authenticity is the key difference between belonging and fitting in. Work on changing what you need to change in your life, but do it for yourself, not for someone else's acceptance. Make the changes necessary to be a healthier you: Spirit, soul, and body. Then you can bring a more whole person to whatever relationships that you're in. Being the real you is so freeing and it will lead you to belong to those who love you, without them first requiring you to change.
In one chapter Brown talks about the differences between belonging and fitting in. She points out that fitting in requires you to change who you are for acceptance. Belonging, on the other hand, is about being who you are.
There's a tremendous amount of relevance to prisoners in the subject of belonging versus fitting in. Many prisoners, myself included, are quick to point out what makes us unique from others. We like to celebrate our differences. We somehow believe that being different, however that is defined, is a way to separate ourselves from the obvious dysfunction around us. It's easier to look at others as somehow messed up in the head--that's why they committed their crimes--but to explain our own actions as "mistakes." We don't like to think of ourselves as broken.
Even in the midst of celebrating our differences though, when you look around yourself in prison you see a lot of desperate attempts to fit in. There is rampant gang or religious group affiliation for identification and the feeling of belonging. You also see similar body art (tattoos), and hear the same stories told thousands of times from hundreds of different people, each trying to one-up the other. Granted, there are a lot of similarities among most prisoners: histories of drug or alcohol abuse, poverty, low education, family histories of abuse or neglect, and poor modeling from the influential adults in their lives.
There's already a sense of kinship among many prisoners. But rather than accepting these similarities and using them as a springboard to changing the behaviors that led to incarceration, we tend to look for ways to separate ourselves from the masses, all the while adapting to fit in whatever group we've chose to identify with.
Perhaps this is why so many released prisoners return to prison. Rather than addressing the behaviors that led to prison, and the faulty thinking that led to those behaviors, most prisoners spend their energies adapting to fit into groups already filled with other dysfunctional people.
I've talked several times before about authenticity and I think that authenticity is the key difference between belonging and fitting in. Work on changing what you need to change in your life, but do it for yourself, not for someone else's acceptance. Make the changes necessary to be a healthier you: Spirit, soul, and body. Then you can bring a more whole person to whatever relationships that you're in. Being the real you is so freeing and it will lead you to belong to those who love you, without them first requiring you to change.
Friday, October 24, 2014
Crisis in Leadership
In a couple of weeks Americans will go to the polls to vote for men and women to represent them in political office. But finding a candidate with integrity may be challenging.
Perhaps it's a little ironic to hear a prisoner talk about integrity. After all, to commit crimes one must not have integrity. Even so, I recognize the need for integrity in my own life, and in the lives of those we elect to represent us.
Maybe a working definition of integrity would be helpful. Integrity is when someone possesses and demonstrates positive character (such as trustworthiness, honesty, and loyalty) consistently in his life. Consistency means while others are watching and when you're alone.
Other than prisoners or politicians, when you think of people who may lack integrity you might also think of car salesmen, and lawyers - I would also add prosecutors - but let's talk about politicians for a minute.
Every election year there is an influx of T.V. commercials for politicians running for office. These commercials, by and large, are negative attacks on the opponent. Many of these ads obfuscate the truth at best, or flat-out lie at worst. When politicians on both sides of the aisle lack integrity in their personal or professional lives voters are reluctant to trust these politicians to represent them with integrity. Instead, the politicians are viewed as self-seeking, and untrustworthy.
Undoubtedly, political leadership involves tough decision and it's impossible to make decisions that everyone agrees with. But when we choose a person to represent us in political office we want someone who has integrity in all of his or her dealings.
When political candidates are willing to lie about their opponents, or to stretch the truth on their own record, the people who are asked to elect them are forced to choose between a representative with no integrity or staying away from the polls altogether. The low turnout rate in nearly every election may be an indicator of the public's lack of trust in politics, and in the candidates running for office.
We can try to solve the financial crisis, the health care crisis, the border security problems, or the myriad other issues politicians face, but until we solve the crisis in leadership and begin electing men and women with integrity to represent us we will continue to have leaders who are concerned with advancing their own agendas, meanwhile lying to our faces in the process.
Perhaps it's a little ironic to hear a prisoner talk about integrity. After all, to commit crimes one must not have integrity. Even so, I recognize the need for integrity in my own life, and in the lives of those we elect to represent us.
Maybe a working definition of integrity would be helpful. Integrity is when someone possesses and demonstrates positive character (such as trustworthiness, honesty, and loyalty) consistently in his life. Consistency means while others are watching and when you're alone.
Other than prisoners or politicians, when you think of people who may lack integrity you might also think of car salesmen, and lawyers - I would also add prosecutors - but let's talk about politicians for a minute.
Every election year there is an influx of T.V. commercials for politicians running for office. These commercials, by and large, are negative attacks on the opponent. Many of these ads obfuscate the truth at best, or flat-out lie at worst. When politicians on both sides of the aisle lack integrity in their personal or professional lives voters are reluctant to trust these politicians to represent them with integrity. Instead, the politicians are viewed as self-seeking, and untrustworthy.
Undoubtedly, political leadership involves tough decision and it's impossible to make decisions that everyone agrees with. But when we choose a person to represent us in political office we want someone who has integrity in all of his or her dealings.
When political candidates are willing to lie about their opponents, or to stretch the truth on their own record, the people who are asked to elect them are forced to choose between a representative with no integrity or staying away from the polls altogether. The low turnout rate in nearly every election may be an indicator of the public's lack of trust in politics, and in the candidates running for office.
We can try to solve the financial crisis, the health care crisis, the border security problems, or the myriad other issues politicians face, but until we solve the crisis in leadership and begin electing men and women with integrity to represent us we will continue to have leaders who are concerned with advancing their own agendas, meanwhile lying to our faces in the process.
Monday, October 13, 2014
I'm Not Perfect, And That's Okay
Today in our church service the volunteer speaker talked about criticism and the damage it does not just to one-on-one relationships, but also to the healthy of a body of people (in this case a church). He urged each of us to commit to "fast" from criticism for a period of time as an intentional act of unity.
I was particularly interested in this idea because I've been studying personality types lately and I've discovered that my personality type tends to be critical of others (something I already recognized in myself). This criticism is due mainly to the desire for perfection in myself and others. While I don't always voice the critical feelings I have these can come across in the way I respond non-verbally or even in me just distancing myself from others.
I don't like this aspect of my personality, but I recognize that there are strengths to perfectionism when balanced properly. The difficulty is in finding balance.
Perhaps the most challenging aspect of being a perfectionist is the pressure I put on myself. Achieving perfection is often an unrealistic aim, and the failure to achieve this perfection can become a loud voice of accusation if I'm not careful.
Coming to prison, and the failures that brought me here, have often threatened to feed this overwhelming voice of criticism. Criticism can be constructive and beneficial, but more often than not it serves only to chip away at feelings of self-worth and feed feelings of shame.
I've already come to grips with the fact that I'm a flawed person. But rather than be shamed by these failures to be perfect I'm learning that I'm not alone in my failures. Every one of us has flaws, but when we learn to draw on the strengths of others, and shore up others where they're weak we become an important part of the collective strength.
I'm sure I'll continue to be critical of myself and others, but hopefully I'm learning to use only constructive criticism and to cut myself and others a little slack. After all, it's often our flaws that make us interesting and unique.
I was particularly interested in this idea because I've been studying personality types lately and I've discovered that my personality type tends to be critical of others (something I already recognized in myself). This criticism is due mainly to the desire for perfection in myself and others. While I don't always voice the critical feelings I have these can come across in the way I respond non-verbally or even in me just distancing myself from others.
I don't like this aspect of my personality, but I recognize that there are strengths to perfectionism when balanced properly. The difficulty is in finding balance.
Perhaps the most challenging aspect of being a perfectionist is the pressure I put on myself. Achieving perfection is often an unrealistic aim, and the failure to achieve this perfection can become a loud voice of accusation if I'm not careful.
Coming to prison, and the failures that brought me here, have often threatened to feed this overwhelming voice of criticism. Criticism can be constructive and beneficial, but more often than not it serves only to chip away at feelings of self-worth and feed feelings of shame.
I've already come to grips with the fact that I'm a flawed person. But rather than be shamed by these failures to be perfect I'm learning that I'm not alone in my failures. Every one of us has flaws, but when we learn to draw on the strengths of others, and shore up others where they're weak we become an important part of the collective strength.
I'm sure I'll continue to be critical of myself and others, but hopefully I'm learning to use only constructive criticism and to cut myself and others a little slack. After all, it's often our flaws that make us interesting and unique.
Monday, September 29, 2014
August Sunrise
The sun rises anew on an early August morning,
Brilliantly painting the sky in orange and red,
Clouds trying to hide the glorious display,
Outlined in fiery halos instead.
Putting to rest the sorrows of days gone by,
She ushers in the hope of a new day,
Greeting all with open arms,
Who stop to marvel at her array.
It's a twenty-one gun salute,
Respect to days who've met their death.
The blush of the morning sky,
Filling hopeful souls with their breath.
It's a new day now, and yesterday's gone,
Eclipsed are the sorrows of the past.
Hope rises brightly with the sun,
Promising better days ahead at last.
Brilliantly painting the sky in orange and red,
Clouds trying to hide the glorious display,
Outlined in fiery halos instead.
Putting to rest the sorrows of days gone by,
She ushers in the hope of a new day,
Greeting all with open arms,
Who stop to marvel at her array.
It's a twenty-one gun salute,
Respect to days who've met their death.
The blush of the morning sky,
Filling hopeful souls with their breath.
It's a new day now, and yesterday's gone,
Eclipsed are the sorrows of the past.
Hope rises brightly with the sun,
Promising better days ahead at last.
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
Building Bridges and Tearing Down Walls
I've said before that prison is a very lonely place. It's very isolating, despite being surrounded by hundreds of other men; despite being stacked like sardines in tight places. In fact, it's difficult in prison to find a quiet place alone... and yet, it's still terribly lonely.
Joseph F. Newton said that, "People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges." When someone ends up in prison that's one of the strongest walls that separates him from people he cares about, and who care about him. Bridges are built around common experiences and interests, and prison is not common between most people in prison and their loved ones outside. Even men who share the same experience of prison don't always share similar life experiences otherwise, and if they don't, they likely won't form connections.
Shared experiences are key to growing deep and lasting roots in relationships. Prison cuts off those shared experiences for most prisoners and their loved ones. Nobody in prison enjoys sharing prison experiences with those they love. After all, prison is a source of shame, not a badge of honor, despite what may be portrayed in some music genres. And some loved ones may not want to share their experiences with the person in prison for fear of hurting feelings or making the separation harder.
The end result for many prisoners is that their relationships with those they once considered close fade or die. Just like relationships between two free people, relationships between prisoners and the ones they love take work. And perhaps the work is harder because of these walls we build, intentional or otherwise, but the work is worth it. At least for me.
Sometimes the chasm seems impossible to cross, but until there is no longer a chance, I will continue to work on building bridges. I need people in my life, and although I built walls by coming to prison, I'm working on tearing down those walls and even using the rubble in the process.
Joseph F. Newton said that, "People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges." When someone ends up in prison that's one of the strongest walls that separates him from people he cares about, and who care about him. Bridges are built around common experiences and interests, and prison is not common between most people in prison and their loved ones outside. Even men who share the same experience of prison don't always share similar life experiences otherwise, and if they don't, they likely won't form connections.
Shared experiences are key to growing deep and lasting roots in relationships. Prison cuts off those shared experiences for most prisoners and their loved ones. Nobody in prison enjoys sharing prison experiences with those they love. After all, prison is a source of shame, not a badge of honor, despite what may be portrayed in some music genres. And some loved ones may not want to share their experiences with the person in prison for fear of hurting feelings or making the separation harder.
The end result for many prisoners is that their relationships with those they once considered close fade or die. Just like relationships between two free people, relationships between prisoners and the ones they love take work. And perhaps the work is harder because of these walls we build, intentional or otherwise, but the work is worth it. At least for me.
Sometimes the chasm seems impossible to cross, but until there is no longer a chance, I will continue to work on building bridges. I need people in my life, and although I built walls by coming to prison, I'm working on tearing down those walls and even using the rubble in the process.
Friday, September 19, 2014
Fruit-Bearing Faith
One of the features of the prison I'm at is unique from the other two higher security level prisons I've been at. We have personal gardens that inmates can sign up for. They are ten foot by fourteen foot gardens, but you can fit a lot into a little space. The harvest of the fresh vegetables is a nice break from the prison food that often features overcooked, low quality vegetables.
The thing about having a garden is that you get no fruit if you don't plant, and then care for the growing vegetables. I remember when I was growing up we had fruit trees in our yard and I was told that for most fruit trees you had to care for the tree for three years before you could begin harvesting fruit. I know that for vegetables, if you want a bountiful harvest you have to care for and water the plants. You have to also remove weeds that threaten to choke out the fruitfulness of the plants.
I see a parallel here to faith. When you plant a seed of faith through prayer, or an earnest expectation of hope for some yield in your life, or in the life of another, that faith requires careful tending before you'll see a yield. Weeds of doubt, fear, discouragement, or so many other emotions threaten to choke out that seed of faith. It requires careful, and attentive removal of these weeds to keep that faith growing until it yields fruit.
I know I've planted many seeds of faith over the last five plus years and some are still germinating while persistent weeds try to choke them out. Other seeds are finally yielding fruit and seeing this fruit strengthens my resolve to continue to not only plant more seeds, but to carefully tend and water the seeds of faith that still haven't borne fruit. Maybe you've let discouragement, or some other weed choke your faith. It might be time for some careful weeding to remove these obstacles to fruit-bearing faith. It might be time to strengthen your faith with some careful watering. Fruit will come. I'm seeing a yield and you can too!
The thing about having a garden is that you get no fruit if you don't plant, and then care for the growing vegetables. I remember when I was growing up we had fruit trees in our yard and I was told that for most fruit trees you had to care for the tree for three years before you could begin harvesting fruit. I know that for vegetables, if you want a bountiful harvest you have to care for and water the plants. You have to also remove weeds that threaten to choke out the fruitfulness of the plants.
I see a parallel here to faith. When you plant a seed of faith through prayer, or an earnest expectation of hope for some yield in your life, or in the life of another, that faith requires careful tending before you'll see a yield. Weeds of doubt, fear, discouragement, or so many other emotions threaten to choke out that seed of faith. It requires careful, and attentive removal of these weeds to keep that faith growing until it yields fruit.
I know I've planted many seeds of faith over the last five plus years and some are still germinating while persistent weeds try to choke them out. Other seeds are finally yielding fruit and seeing this fruit strengthens my resolve to continue to not only plant more seeds, but to carefully tend and water the seeds of faith that still haven't borne fruit. Maybe you've let discouragement, or some other weed choke your faith. It might be time for some careful weeding to remove these obstacles to fruit-bearing faith. It might be time to strengthen your faith with some careful watering. Fruit will come. I'm seeing a yield and you can too!
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Treasure
Born from the belly of the earth,
Shaped by unrelenting pressure.
Formless and unassuming until touched
by the hand of its Creator.
Polished and shaped into a brilliant
Jewel for eighteen years.
Dazzling in its brilliance now,
And priceless beyond compare.
No matter the setting its placed,
Or what jewels surround.
Shining in its own brilliance,
From a light that's within.
Precious and beautiful,
A treasure with value uncountable.
Shaped by unrelenting pressure.
Formless and unassuming until touched
by the hand of its Creator.
Polished and shaped into a brilliant
Jewel for eighteen years.
Dazzling in its brilliance now,
And priceless beyond compare.
No matter the setting its placed,
Or what jewels surround.
Shining in its own brilliance,
From a light that's within.
Precious and beautiful,
A treasure with value uncountable.
Tuesday, August 19, 2014
Memoirs of Four Convicted Murderers
I recently read a book published by four guys at this facility called Memoirs of Four Convicted Murderers. I personally know three of the four authors, and they are good men who made terribly tragic choices, two of whom were only teens at the time.
While the media sensationalizes the stories of teenage killers through news reports and TV specials, this book is a raw look at the criminal mindset that these authors were committed to before taking the life of another person. The authors take full responsibility for their actions and don't glorify or sensationalize what they did. As you read their stories you can't help but realize how easy a single decision can forever alter lives.
With all of the tragic shooting stories in the news, there appears to be an epidemic of teen shootings and teenage killers. The authors of Memoirs want to reach every teen or young adult whose thinking is leading to criminal behavior; the authors want to show these teens that there's more to life than "Life in Prison."
Memoirs is a self-help book on criminal behavior and rehabilitation that uses personal stories to connect ideas about rehabilitation to real life.
This book is available at Amazon.com in ebook or paperback and at DwightHenley.com. All profits go to the Michigan Crime Victims Services Fund.
While the media sensationalizes the stories of teenage killers through news reports and TV specials, this book is a raw look at the criminal mindset that these authors were committed to before taking the life of another person. The authors take full responsibility for their actions and don't glorify or sensationalize what they did. As you read their stories you can't help but realize how easy a single decision can forever alter lives.
With all of the tragic shooting stories in the news, there appears to be an epidemic of teen shootings and teenage killers. The authors of Memoirs want to reach every teen or young adult whose thinking is leading to criminal behavior; the authors want to show these teens that there's more to life than "Life in Prison."
Memoirs is a self-help book on criminal behavior and rehabilitation that uses personal stories to connect ideas about rehabilitation to real life.
This book is available at Amazon.com in ebook or paperback and at DwightHenley.com. All profits go to the Michigan Crime Victims Services Fund.
Thursday, August 14, 2014
Developing Intrinsic Motivation
I've been enjoying co-facilitating an introduction to psychology class as part of our college prep curriculum in the College Program at our facility. I find it very satisfying to help others learn, but especially to help them learn something that will transform their lives in a positive way.
Many of the inmates who are taking this psychology class have participated in rehabilitation-based classes as well. When they learn the psychology behind some of their past choices, and they connect this knowledge with what they've learned before about themselves, you can see a light come on in their understanding.
Most prisoners end up in prison because they failed to develop or foster intrinsic (internal) motivators to avoid breaking the law. Their love for, or obsession with, money, drugs, or women was stronger than their desire to remain a law-abiding citizen.
By developing and feeding the proper intrinsic motivators (love for God and family, a desire for providing for one's self and family, a hunger for education, and a commitment to be a good example for the next generation, among other things), these inmates are empowering themselves for future success.
For me, leaving a legacy of even one life changed drives me to help me who don't know how to help themselves. And in the process, I'm strengthening my own intrinsic motivators and healing my own brokenness.
Many of the inmates who are taking this psychology class have participated in rehabilitation-based classes as well. When they learn the psychology behind some of their past choices, and they connect this knowledge with what they've learned before about themselves, you can see a light come on in their understanding.
Most prisoners end up in prison because they failed to develop or foster intrinsic (internal) motivators to avoid breaking the law. Their love for, or obsession with, money, drugs, or women was stronger than their desire to remain a law-abiding citizen.
By developing and feeding the proper intrinsic motivators (love for God and family, a desire for providing for one's self and family, a hunger for education, and a commitment to be a good example for the next generation, among other things), these inmates are empowering themselves for future success.
For me, leaving a legacy of even one life changed drives me to help me who don't know how to help themselves. And in the process, I'm strengthening my own intrinsic motivators and healing my own brokenness.
Thursday, July 10, 2014
Are you a "Right-Fighter"?
Okay, I admit it. I sometimes enjoy watching the Dr. Phil show. I've also read his recent book, "Life Code". This book lists some excellent signs of the criminal mindset. While Dr. Phil doesn't call them signs of the criminal mindset, nearly every one listed in his "Evil Eight" or "Nefarious Fifteen" are found in abundance in prisoners.
One concept Dr. Phil often talks about is, "Are you a right-fighter?" In other words, is your desire to be right stronger than every other desire? Do you find yourself defending yourself or your position at the cost of solving a problem or healing a relationship? Are you so focused on being right that you miss the bigger picture?
I am a "right-fighter". It's not something I'm proud of, and now that I'm aware of it, I seek to surrender my need to be right in order to achieve what's more important. That doesn't mean a sarcastic response of, "You're right... you're always right!" It means suspending the need to express my position in order to better understand another's. It's the desire to find common ground to build on rather than erecting a monument to my own "rightness." And sometimes it means walking away from a disagreement because two right-fighters will never find common ground.
I often wonder how many relationships I've lost or damaged because of my need to be right. I've been told plenty of times that I'm arrogant, and I'm sure it's usually because of my need to be right. It's time for a change. I think the hardest things to let go are lies about my actions or character. But I've come to realize that if I live my life in such a way that I am known as trustworthy and a man of integrity, then I don't need to worry about my reputation. I can instead focus on healing relationships with those I've hurt and disappointed, and on building new relationships where people feel value by me.
One concept Dr. Phil often talks about is, "Are you a right-fighter?" In other words, is your desire to be right stronger than every other desire? Do you find yourself defending yourself or your position at the cost of solving a problem or healing a relationship? Are you so focused on being right that you miss the bigger picture?
I am a "right-fighter". It's not something I'm proud of, and now that I'm aware of it, I seek to surrender my need to be right in order to achieve what's more important. That doesn't mean a sarcastic response of, "You're right... you're always right!" It means suspending the need to express my position in order to better understand another's. It's the desire to find common ground to build on rather than erecting a monument to my own "rightness." And sometimes it means walking away from a disagreement because two right-fighters will never find common ground.
I often wonder how many relationships I've lost or damaged because of my need to be right. I've been told plenty of times that I'm arrogant, and I'm sure it's usually because of my need to be right. It's time for a change. I think the hardest things to let go are lies about my actions or character. But I've come to realize that if I live my life in such a way that I am known as trustworthy and a man of integrity, then I don't need to worry about my reputation. I can instead focus on healing relationships with those I've hurt and disappointed, and on building new relationships where people feel value by me.
Monday, July 7, 2014
Maintaining Mindfulness
We live in such a harried and hurried society that people have lost all sense of what is important. And many are looking or ways to re-connect with their purpose. There's a lot of talk these days about a concept called mindfulness. At first thought it might sound like an eastern mysticism concept, and it may actually have its roots there. But mindfulness is not meditation, or mantras. Mindfulness is about acute awareness of the moment.
When we become overwhelmed by "tasks" we are so focused on DOING that we forget the BEING. Sure, at the end of the day we might have accomplished much, but at what cost? What cost to our health because we don't have time to exercise or eat nutritious meals? What cost to our psychological health because we are ruled by the demands of the urgent? What cost to our relationships because we put projects ahead of people? What cost to our families because we are overcommitted and invested in lesser important things?
Mindfulness is not only about acute awareness of what's important thought. It's a purposeful focus of our minds on positives in our lives.
Depression, while sometimes clinical in nature, often starts with an unhealthy focus on a negative event, or loss (perceived or real) in one's life. Mindfulness acknowledges the event or loss, but rather staying tied to the hitching post of the past, it uses the past as a sign post that points toward the future. Depression is often a result of focusing all of my energy on the event or loss that I miss the beauty of the here and now. Mindfulness is a deliberate choice to loose oneself from the restraints of the past and see the potential in today.
Fear is much the same way. It is an unhealthy focus on the "what-ifs" of life. What if I don't get the job? What if he or she rejects me? What if my marriage fails or my kids don't turn out "right"? Whatever the fear, it is an unhealthy focus on the potentials of the future. The future is not promised to us, but when we live our lives focused on the potentiality of what may happen we lose the joys found in the moment. We let fear rob us of health, of time, and of awareness of the beauty of now.
Mindfulness acknowledges the presence of fear, but refuses to give it power to rob oneself of the only thing guaranteed to us: the moment we are in right now.
Next time you're tempted to dwell on fear, or stay tied to the hurts of the past, remind yourself that every moment has value and ask if the fear or hurt is worth trading for today's joy.
When we become overwhelmed by "tasks" we are so focused on DOING that we forget the BEING. Sure, at the end of the day we might have accomplished much, but at what cost? What cost to our health because we don't have time to exercise or eat nutritious meals? What cost to our psychological health because we are ruled by the demands of the urgent? What cost to our relationships because we put projects ahead of people? What cost to our families because we are overcommitted and invested in lesser important things?
Mindfulness is not only about acute awareness of what's important thought. It's a purposeful focus of our minds on positives in our lives.
Depression, while sometimes clinical in nature, often starts with an unhealthy focus on a negative event, or loss (perceived or real) in one's life. Mindfulness acknowledges the event or loss, but rather staying tied to the hitching post of the past, it uses the past as a sign post that points toward the future. Depression is often a result of focusing all of my energy on the event or loss that I miss the beauty of the here and now. Mindfulness is a deliberate choice to loose oneself from the restraints of the past and see the potential in today.
Fear is much the same way. It is an unhealthy focus on the "what-ifs" of life. What if I don't get the job? What if he or she rejects me? What if my marriage fails or my kids don't turn out "right"? Whatever the fear, it is an unhealthy focus on the potentials of the future. The future is not promised to us, but when we live our lives focused on the potentiality of what may happen we lose the joys found in the moment. We let fear rob us of health, of time, and of awareness of the beauty of now.
Mindfulness acknowledges the presence of fear, but refuses to give it power to rob oneself of the only thing guaranteed to us: the moment we are in right now.
Next time you're tempted to dwell on fear, or stay tied to the hurts of the past, remind yourself that every moment has value and ask if the fear or hurt is worth trading for today's joy.
Monday, June 30, 2014
Perspective Makes All the Difference
Imagine that you are not feeling like yourself and after some delay you finally go to the doctor to find out what's wrong. You're given blood tests and the doctor probes and runs other tests to find out what's wrong. A week later you get that dreaded call: "You have stage five cancer...we'll do all we can, but it's not looking good."
You ask how much time you have and when you find out that it's only months to live, you are forced at that time to make a choice. You can either see the beauty of life like never before and choose to live the life you have left to the fullest, or you can throw in the cards and wallow in the despair you'll inevitably feel at this news.
Prison is not always a sentence of death (although for some it is), but when you're sentenced to prison you're also faced with two options: learn to see the beauty in life that before you took for granted, and learn to live life to the fullest, or shrivel up in fear and anger at all you've lost.
You see, either way, whether in the dreaded news from the doctor, or in the sentence from a harsh judge, perspective is what makes all the difference. I have seen men with life sentences who have come to peace with their life and are living life seeing all of the beauty even in this living hell, and I have see others with very short sentences throw away their chance at life and freedom because they never learned to appreciate the beauty that life offers everyone who chooses to see it.
God makes the sun rise on the just and the unjust, and sends rain on those who love Him and those who curse Him to His face. But we have a choice in how we respond to the tragedies of life. We have a choice in whether we see the beauty in God's gifts to us, or simply complain that they aren't what we want, and how we want them. And in that response lies all the difference in the world.
You ask how much time you have and when you find out that it's only months to live, you are forced at that time to make a choice. You can either see the beauty of life like never before and choose to live the life you have left to the fullest, or you can throw in the cards and wallow in the despair you'll inevitably feel at this news.
Prison is not always a sentence of death (although for some it is), but when you're sentenced to prison you're also faced with two options: learn to see the beauty in life that before you took for granted, and learn to live life to the fullest, or shrivel up in fear and anger at all you've lost.
You see, either way, whether in the dreaded news from the doctor, or in the sentence from a harsh judge, perspective is what makes all the difference. I have seen men with life sentences who have come to peace with their life and are living life seeing all of the beauty even in this living hell, and I have see others with very short sentences throw away their chance at life and freedom because they never learned to appreciate the beauty that life offers everyone who chooses to see it.
God makes the sun rise on the just and the unjust, and sends rain on those who love Him and those who curse Him to His face. But we have a choice in how we respond to the tragedies of life. We have a choice in whether we see the beauty in God's gifts to us, or simply complain that they aren't what we want, and how we want them. And in that response lies all the difference in the world.
Monday, June 16, 2014
When Faith and Hope Falters
When I began this blog I titled it "Hope on the Inside" because I wanted to use my writing to express the hope I have, in God, in life, in redemption. Nearly two years ago I wrote a post called "Earnest Expectations" about faith being the legs of hope, the earnest expectation that transcends wishful thinking.
But what do you do when inundated with nothing but bad news? Do you lose hope entirely, or watch it fade into nothing more than a faint image of what it was before your faith was relentlessly assaulted.
Lately I've been bombarded by painful news. But really, most news prisoners receive in prison is painful. Even "good" news because it reminds us of what we're missing... new births, marriages, new jobs, graduations. You want to experience these things rather than hear about them. You want to be there to help or comfort in the bad times... illness, death, divorce, kids making bad choices - adults making bad choices. And what do you do with your own bad news when you're cut off either by fences of razor wire or walls of rejection from those you love, whose help and comfort you need?
I don't know what the answer is because I'm not moving mountains with my faith...yet.
And so, I continue to hang onto hope, speaking and praying those things that are not as if they are, and when my faith falters I go back to the Source with a plea for more. I remind myself that "I would have lost heart (hope), unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living." (Psalm 27:13)
But what do you do when inundated with nothing but bad news? Do you lose hope entirely, or watch it fade into nothing more than a faint image of what it was before your faith was relentlessly assaulted.
Lately I've been bombarded by painful news. But really, most news prisoners receive in prison is painful. Even "good" news because it reminds us of what we're missing... new births, marriages, new jobs, graduations. You want to experience these things rather than hear about them. You want to be there to help or comfort in the bad times... illness, death, divorce, kids making bad choices - adults making bad choices. And what do you do with your own bad news when you're cut off either by fences of razor wire or walls of rejection from those you love, whose help and comfort you need?
I don't know what the answer is because I'm not moving mountains with my faith...yet.
And so, I continue to hang onto hope, speaking and praying those things that are not as if they are, and when my faith falters I go back to the Source with a plea for more. I remind myself that "I would have lost heart (hope), unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living." (Psalm 27:13)
Monday, June 2, 2014
Michigan Prisoner Wages
Michigan prisoners have been working at the same pay rates since the
early 1970's. Michigan pays prisoners to work jobs such as
maintenance, yard work, janitorial, food preparation and service,
recreation, various clerk positions, and more. While you might be
surprised that Michigan pays its prisoners at all, the wages range
from $0.54 to $3.34 per DAY. The average rate is around $1 per day.
You might think it unfair that prisoners are paid at all, but the MDOC
requires prisoners to pay for all cosmetics, all over the counter
medications (Tylenol, asprin, allergy meds, etc.), $5 co-pays for
medical care, $0.23 per minute for telephone calls, writing paper,
pens and postage, and more. Additionally, since recent reductions in
food portions often do not provide enough calories for people with an
active lifestyle, many prisoners purchase additional food items to
supplement their diets. This all on a salary of an average of $1 per
day.
While the cost of living has risen steadily since the early '70's and
the minimum wage has risen from $1.60 per hour in 1973 to the current
$7.35 per hour (soon to be over $9 per hour), Michigan prisoner wages
have only decreased, and much of what we now pay for used to be
provided by the state. Even most of the Industry jobs previously
available to prisoners (which saved the state money) are no longer
available. Because most prisoners cannot provide for all of their
needs at these wages, the responsibility falls on already struggling
families to help their incarcerated loved ones.
Michigan needs to raise wages for prisoners, create more industry jobs
again, or as many states do, provide the necessities and rather than
pay prisoners at all, offer good time (time off sentences) for jobs
performed.
early 1970's. Michigan pays prisoners to work jobs such as
maintenance, yard work, janitorial, food preparation and service,
recreation, various clerk positions, and more. While you might be
surprised that Michigan pays its prisoners at all, the wages range
from $0.54 to $3.34 per DAY. The average rate is around $1 per day.
You might think it unfair that prisoners are paid at all, but the MDOC
requires prisoners to pay for all cosmetics, all over the counter
medications (Tylenol, asprin, allergy meds, etc.), $5 co-pays for
medical care, $0.23 per minute for telephone calls, writing paper,
pens and postage, and more. Additionally, since recent reductions in
food portions often do not provide enough calories for people with an
active lifestyle, many prisoners purchase additional food items to
supplement their diets. This all on a salary of an average of $1 per
day.
While the cost of living has risen steadily since the early '70's and
the minimum wage has risen from $1.60 per hour in 1973 to the current
$7.35 per hour (soon to be over $9 per hour), Michigan prisoner wages
have only decreased, and much of what we now pay for used to be
provided by the state. Even most of the Industry jobs previously
available to prisoners (which saved the state money) are no longer
available. Because most prisoners cannot provide for all of their
needs at these wages, the responsibility falls on already struggling
families to help their incarcerated loved ones.
Michigan needs to raise wages for prisoners, create more industry jobs
again, or as many states do, provide the necessities and rather than
pay prisoners at all, offer good time (time off sentences) for jobs
performed.
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
Stepping outside Myself
You know that summer is nearly here when you look around and see the courtyard basketball games drawing crowds of spectators, joggers running the track, and handball and softball games in full swing (yes, lame pun intended). And while for some it's all about just fun and games, for others it's a much needed distraction from the oppressive depression prison can bring.
The activity might remind others of games played in the park at home, or family reunions, or church picnics, and so they avoid the pain of the missed good times by staying indoors or keeping to themselves. For me, I enjoy going outside and watching the activity, participating in some, but mostly investing in developing relationships with those God has put in my path for now. I'm not a socially outgoing person in general, but I've come to value relationships more than ever.
I realize that people in our lives are not just characters in our play (comedy, tragedy...you decide), but people with stories. People with hurts, and needs. People with dreams and aspirations. People in need of healing and a kind word of encouragement. I don't always step outside of myself, but when I do I know that I'm being Jesus to others, and that is so rewarding!
The activity might remind others of games played in the park at home, or family reunions, or church picnics, and so they avoid the pain of the missed good times by staying indoors or keeping to themselves. For me, I enjoy going outside and watching the activity, participating in some, but mostly investing in developing relationships with those God has put in my path for now. I'm not a socially outgoing person in general, but I've come to value relationships more than ever.
I realize that people in our lives are not just characters in our play (comedy, tragedy...you decide), but people with stories. People with hurts, and needs. People with dreams and aspirations. People in need of healing and a kind word of encouragement. I don't always step outside of myself, but when I do I know that I'm being Jesus to others, and that is so rewarding!
Monday, May 19, 2014
Understanding Diversity
I had an interesting, and long, discussion with a couple of guys the other day in the prison library about philosophy, politics, and the impact of both on the different socio-economic segments of our society.
As I sat there asking questions, making comments, and practicing 'Seek first to Understand, then to be Understood' (from Stephen Covey's "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People") it occurred to me that much of our differences were a result of our own unique experiences. Our goals and desires were much the same and even many of our philosophies, but our unique experiences have colored our views on how to achieve these goals.
This prison experience has helped me to understand that many of the ideals I've held for years are sometimes held by others from other cultural and socio-economic backgrounds, but because of our different experiences our ideas of achieving these ideals often differ. I've come to value different opinions and to seek common ground with others I don't appear to have much in common with.
While society (and prison) seeks to divide by focusing on what separates each from the other, a few brave people can make a difference by looking for common ground and seeking to understand the experiences that make us different. Are you brave?
As I sat there asking questions, making comments, and practicing 'Seek first to Understand, then to be Understood' (from Stephen Covey's "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People") it occurred to me that much of our differences were a result of our own unique experiences. Our goals and desires were much the same and even many of our philosophies, but our unique experiences have colored our views on how to achieve these goals.
This prison experience has helped me to understand that many of the ideals I've held for years are sometimes held by others from other cultural and socio-economic backgrounds, but because of our different experiences our ideas of achieving these ideals often differ. I've come to value different opinions and to seek common ground with others I don't appear to have much in common with.
While society (and prison) seeks to divide by focusing on what separates each from the other, a few brave people can make a difference by looking for common ground and seeking to understand the experiences that make us different. Are you brave?
Monday, May 12, 2014
Education Not Incarceration
I haven't posted in a while because I've been busy typing out a book for another prisoner, and because I've been busy with education.
Recent research done by the RAND Corporation has shown a direct correlation between education, and incarceration and re-incarceration rates. The less educated one is, the greater their chance of incarceration, and for those already here, the greater the chance of coming back.
The federal government failed to acknowledge this connection when it eliminated access to PELL grants for prisoners. This despite the fact that the majority of prisoners would have qualified for PELL grants pre-incarceration. Additionally, Michigan has traditionally taken the approach of making education behind bars a difficult task. But things are slowly changing.
I'm involved here with a group of prisoners who are taking a grassroots approach to education behind bars. Our college group is involved with helping tutor GED students, developing and facilitating college-prep classes, and researching and providing information and help to inmates that want to start college while incarcerated.
It's very rewarding to be a part of helping others empower themselves and plan for a better future. I myself am now in college (through correspondence) thanks to the generosity of a couple of friends. I am currently taking a philosophy class and loving it! My goal is a bachelors degree in Interdisciplinary Studies (business and psychology) so I can continue to pursue my passions of entrepreneurship (business) and lay counseling (psychology).
If you're interested in getting updates about both my personal college in prison experience, and my participation in the college group here at this facility please write me (see my contact info in my profile) and let me know.
Success doesn't occur in a vacuum and I need others who will advocate for, and support and encourage my efforts for myself and in helping others. I believe that everyone has value and potential, regardless of their past poor decisions.
I hope you do too. Please find out how you can get connected with advancing education in prison. I hope to hear from you.
Recent research done by the RAND Corporation has shown a direct correlation between education, and incarceration and re-incarceration rates. The less educated one is, the greater their chance of incarceration, and for those already here, the greater the chance of coming back.
The federal government failed to acknowledge this connection when it eliminated access to PELL grants for prisoners. This despite the fact that the majority of prisoners would have qualified for PELL grants pre-incarceration. Additionally, Michigan has traditionally taken the approach of making education behind bars a difficult task. But things are slowly changing.
I'm involved here with a group of prisoners who are taking a grassroots approach to education behind bars. Our college group is involved with helping tutor GED students, developing and facilitating college-prep classes, and researching and providing information and help to inmates that want to start college while incarcerated.
It's very rewarding to be a part of helping others empower themselves and plan for a better future. I myself am now in college (through correspondence) thanks to the generosity of a couple of friends. I am currently taking a philosophy class and loving it! My goal is a bachelors degree in Interdisciplinary Studies (business and psychology) so I can continue to pursue my passions of entrepreneurship (business) and lay counseling (psychology).
If you're interested in getting updates about both my personal college in prison experience, and my participation in the college group here at this facility please write me (see my contact info in my profile) and let me know.
Success doesn't occur in a vacuum and I need others who will advocate for, and support and encourage my efforts for myself and in helping others. I believe that everyone has value and potential, regardless of their past poor decisions.
I hope you do too. Please find out how you can get connected with advancing education in prison. I hope to hear from you.
Monday, March 31, 2014
What do you do with a 'No'?
Life is filled with failures and rejections, and most people let
those failures and rejections define who they are. Those that don't
rise above the fray to levels of success most can't even dream of. The
difference is in their response to the failure or rejection.
One famous example is Albert Einstein, who had thousands of failed
inventions, but by refusing to let those failures define him he was
able to achieve what most couldn't even dream of.
Recently Michigan passed legislation to make it easier for recently
released prisoners to get jobs. This is a great step in the right
direction, but the biggest obstacle most former prisoners face is
themselves. It's true that many employers don't want to hire ex-cons
because of the risks associated with former criminals.
So what do we do with a 'no'? How do we overcome objections? Many
ex-cons go into business for themselves because they find it easier to
start a business than to get a job for someone else. Others go right
back to a life of crime because, well, it's easier.
The problem seems to at least be in part to the expectation that to
succeed in life, one must not fail in the first place. That and the
assumption that the government can always take care of me. What's
lacking in either of these solutions is the fortitude required of
achieving something worth achieving.
If you don't value the solution than the work to achieve it isn't worth the struggle. Conversely, if you value the solution (not a job, but a way to legally provide for
one's self and family) it's worth the struggle to achieve it.
It might take creative thinking, or preparations through education, but
whatever it takes, if you value something enough, you're willing to
take the lumps that come with the struggle.
Next time you're told NO, don't accept the rejection as an indication
of who you are, but if it's worth achieving, persist until you get
results.
those failures and rejections define who they are. Those that don't
rise above the fray to levels of success most can't even dream of. The
difference is in their response to the failure or rejection.
One famous example is Albert Einstein, who had thousands of failed
inventions, but by refusing to let those failures define him he was
able to achieve what most couldn't even dream of.
Recently Michigan passed legislation to make it easier for recently
released prisoners to get jobs. This is a great step in the right
direction, but the biggest obstacle most former prisoners face is
themselves. It's true that many employers don't want to hire ex-cons
because of the risks associated with former criminals.
So what do we do with a 'no'? How do we overcome objections? Many
ex-cons go into business for themselves because they find it easier to
start a business than to get a job for someone else. Others go right
back to a life of crime because, well, it's easier.
The problem seems to at least be in part to the expectation that to
succeed in life, one must not fail in the first place. That and the
assumption that the government can always take care of me. What's
lacking in either of these solutions is the fortitude required of
achieving something worth achieving.
If you don't value the solution than the work to achieve it isn't worth the struggle. Conversely, if you value the solution (not a job, but a way to legally provide for
one's self and family) it's worth the struggle to achieve it.
It might take creative thinking, or preparations through education, but
whatever it takes, if you value something enough, you're willing to
take the lumps that come with the struggle.
Next time you're told NO, don't accept the rejection as an indication
of who you are, but if it's worth achieving, persist until you get
results.
Monday, March 24, 2014
Focused on Redemption
As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another" This verse from Proverbs 27:17 was perfectly illustrated the other night as I watched a graduation ceremony for the young men who participated in the peer-to-peer focus group I've mentioned previously.
This focus group idea is pointed at using older, more experienced men to help the young men in prison experience changes from the inside out. What struck me most as I listened to some of the young men share their experiences was the common theme that these older men were some of the first to ever believe in them and their potential. They also expressed that the older men didn't give them answers to life, but helped them discover that they already had the answers, they just needed to see them.
This program is a prisoner-led, grassroots movement, sponsored by a prison ministry called Prisoners In Christ and supported by the prison administration (although not officially).
Officially called "The Focus Group", this program is a positive peer culture program that encourages new thinking, creative expression and commitment to personal growth in those whose lives have been impacted by crime and punishment. There are three dimensions of TFG which are: Leadership Development, Economic Empowerment, and Community Building.
I'm excited about this program because it has had some great responses from a very difficult-to-reach segment of the prison population: the young men.
There are ways to get involved if you're interested. Just contact Prisoners In Christ and use their contact page to find out what you can do to get involved.
You can also support The Focus Group by purchasing a book on Amazon called:
A Prisoners Experience about the stories of many of the first young men involved in this program.
The profits of the sales of this book are used to provide help to those being released from prison. It's an interesting read, and authored by these incarcerated young men.
"As we look ahead into the next century, leaders will be those who empower others." - Bill Gates
How are you empowering others today?"
This focus group idea is pointed at using older, more experienced men to help the young men in prison experience changes from the inside out. What struck me most as I listened to some of the young men share their experiences was the common theme that these older men were some of the first to ever believe in them and their potential. They also expressed that the older men didn't give them answers to life, but helped them discover that they already had the answers, they just needed to see them.
This program is a prisoner-led, grassroots movement, sponsored by a prison ministry called Prisoners In Christ and supported by the prison administration (although not officially).
Officially called "The Focus Group", this program is a positive peer culture program that encourages new thinking, creative expression and commitment to personal growth in those whose lives have been impacted by crime and punishment. There are three dimensions of TFG which are: Leadership Development, Economic Empowerment, and Community Building.
I'm excited about this program because it has had some great responses from a very difficult-to-reach segment of the prison population: the young men.
There are ways to get involved if you're interested. Just contact Prisoners In Christ and use their contact page to find out what you can do to get involved.
You can also support The Focus Group by purchasing a book on Amazon called:
A Prisoners Experience about the stories of many of the first young men involved in this program.
The profits of the sales of this book are used to provide help to those being released from prison. It's an interesting read, and authored by these incarcerated young men.
"As we look ahead into the next century, leaders will be those who empower others." - Bill Gates
How are you empowering others today?"
Monday, March 17, 2014
Paying it Forward
The facility I'm at has a program designed for young guys, most of whom are facing release within a year or two. As a part of that program the facilitators (older, respected inmates) teach them things like how to fill out a resume, how to apply for and interview for a job, critical thinking skills, and other skills that will help reduce the likelihood of their reoffending.
I was given the opportunity to participate in the job interview by posing as an emploer, and then a couple of weeks later I posted as a parole board member to do 'mock' parole interviews. the goal of both the job and the parold interviews was to prepare them with practice and feedback. Of course, I enjoyed doing both types of interviews, but the best part was in giving feedback. Not all the guys took it seriously. Some thought it was a laugh-worthy practice, but others took it very seriously and really wanted to know what they could do to improve.
The most rewarding thing of all for me was in identifying one guy in particular who I saw a lot of potential in and taking the time to pull him aside later and share with him my thoughts. as I've mentioned before, men in prison are by and large, dealing with major self-esteem issues. I don't know, maybe it's more common even outside of prison than I previously thought, but I believe many of the guys in prison are dealing with such negative self-talk, and liging up to the expectations so many had of them (they'd never amount to anything) that they can't see the value they have as a person.
I believe it's our responsibility, whether in prison or not, to help those that God puts in our path. So many people don't see the value they have and whether that translates to criminal behavior, psychological issues, poor grades in school, damaged relationships, or however it manifests, it falls on us to make a difference where we are.
Someone said that ignorance is when we react exclusively to our own projections rather than simply seeing what is there. It's our responsibility to help others change their projections of themselves.
Who can you encourage today?
I was given the opportunity to participate in the job interview by posing as an emploer, and then a couple of weeks later I posted as a parole board member to do 'mock' parole interviews. the goal of both the job and the parold interviews was to prepare them with practice and feedback. Of course, I enjoyed doing both types of interviews, but the best part was in giving feedback. Not all the guys took it seriously. Some thought it was a laugh-worthy practice, but others took it very seriously and really wanted to know what they could do to improve.
The most rewarding thing of all for me was in identifying one guy in particular who I saw a lot of potential in and taking the time to pull him aside later and share with him my thoughts. as I've mentioned before, men in prison are by and large, dealing with major self-esteem issues. I don't know, maybe it's more common even outside of prison than I previously thought, but I believe many of the guys in prison are dealing with such negative self-talk, and liging up to the expectations so many had of them (they'd never amount to anything) that they can't see the value they have as a person.
I believe it's our responsibility, whether in prison or not, to help those that God puts in our path. So many people don't see the value they have and whether that translates to criminal behavior, psychological issues, poor grades in school, damaged relationships, or however it manifests, it falls on us to make a difference where we are.
Someone said that ignorance is when we react exclusively to our own projections rather than simply seeing what is there. It's our responsibility to help others change their projections of themselves.
Who can you encourage today?
Monday, March 10, 2014
Reflections on Five Years
It's amazing to me how palpable the losses I experienced in coming to prison still are five years later. It seems like a lifetime ago, and yet, the most significant loss, that of my family, is still as painful today as it was five years ago.
There's much I've learned in the last five years about myself, about life, about friendship. I've come to realize that I sacrificed my friendships by my own behavior. But I've also learned that a true friend loves you through your darkest moments. And sometimes those moments last for years.
I've learned that I value family more than I ever thought I did.
I've learned that forgiveness is mainly for one's self.
I've learned that God's grace is greater than I can fathom and that His mercy is just the beginning of His love.
I've learned that nothing in life matters if it is not founded on love.
I've learned that you attract into your life what you put out. So I choose to put out positivity, because I hate negativity. I choose to put out hope because despair scares me. I choose to put out love because I live in a place filled with hate. I choose peace because I've seen what lack of peace does to people. And I choose to live in joy because living in a cloud of misery is not living at all.
There's much in prison that can make you miserable if you choose to focus on it. But choice is the key. Every day when I wake up, I face a choice of wallowing in the cesspool that is prison, or of rising above the quicksand and choosing to focus on the health of my three-part man: Spirit, soul and body.
By exercising my spirit I draw closer to my Creator. By exercising my soul I develop strength of mind, will and emotions. And by exercising my body I stay healthy for my future work, whatever that is.
That's what much of life comes down to though, isn't it? The choices we make? Many of those choices have life-long consequences, but we seldom think about the many daily choices we make that steer our lives in ways we can never imagine.
I don't know how the last chapters of my life will be written, but I am determined that the choices I make today will be the ink that writes a story of hope and redemption.
There's much I've learned in the last five years about myself, about life, about friendship. I've come to realize that I sacrificed my friendships by my own behavior. But I've also learned that a true friend loves you through your darkest moments. And sometimes those moments last for years.
I've learned that I value family more than I ever thought I did.
I've learned that forgiveness is mainly for one's self.
I've learned that God's grace is greater than I can fathom and that His mercy is just the beginning of His love.
I've learned that nothing in life matters if it is not founded on love.
I've learned that you attract into your life what you put out. So I choose to put out positivity, because I hate negativity. I choose to put out hope because despair scares me. I choose to put out love because I live in a place filled with hate. I choose peace because I've seen what lack of peace does to people. And I choose to live in joy because living in a cloud of misery is not living at all.
There's much in prison that can make you miserable if you choose to focus on it. But choice is the key. Every day when I wake up, I face a choice of wallowing in the cesspool that is prison, or of rising above the quicksand and choosing to focus on the health of my three-part man: Spirit, soul and body.
By exercising my spirit I draw closer to my Creator. By exercising my soul I develop strength of mind, will and emotions. And by exercising my body I stay healthy for my future work, whatever that is.
That's what much of life comes down to though, isn't it? The choices we make? Many of those choices have life-long consequences, but we seldom think about the many daily choices we make that steer our lives in ways we can never imagine.
I don't know how the last chapters of my life will be written, but I am determined that the choices I make today will be the ink that writes a story of hope and redemption.
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Character Pillars: Citizenship
Citizenship, the last character pillar in this series includes civic virtues and duties that prescribe how we ought to behave as part of a community. It's about doing more than one's "fair share" to make society work, now and for future generations. It's about developing the attitude of "it is better to give than to receive."
Community can be defined by one's hometown or region, or it can even involve sub-sections like a community of prisoners.
When I first came to prison, I found it interesting to hear frequent discussions about how to get government assistance when released from prison. It's an attitude many bring to prison with them: "What can I get for free, whether I deserve it or not?"
There's a sense of entitlement that permeates the prison population and it's my belief that this is a major cause why many people in government refuse to take us seriously when it comes to important issues like Good Time, the third-world quality of prison healthcare, and the importance of education in prison to help reduce recidivism.
That's why I'm encouraged by a grass-roots effort in my current facility by a group of prisoners (I am part of the group) who are creating educational opportunities and facilitating or teaching classes to other prisoners. It's an effort to develop a love for education and to foster an expectation for a better future. By giving back to our own community of prisoners we're developing the citizenship quality that's important inside, and outside of prison. This sort of attitude is infectious too. It catches on as others catch the vision.
How can you develop citizenship in yourself for the benefit of your community?
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Character Pillars: Caring
Caring is at the heart of ethics and ethical decision-making. You'd be hard-pressed to find someone who is truly ethical and yet, unconcerned with the welfare of others.
Caring is a lot like empathy. It is the ability to feel both the pain and pleasure of others. Caring can be expressed in something as simple as a caring hand on a shoulder, or an offer of praise or condolence, up to altruistic or benevolent actions.
Caring of any form is not absent from the lives of prisoners, but it is uncommon as a general rule. There are exceptions of course, and you might be surprised to see pockets of unusual caring. For instance, Michigan's male prisoners recently conducted a fundraiser to support an organization that assists low-income students in purchasing school uniforms. This fundraiser raised over $12,000 with an additional $15,000 committed by Michigan's female prison population.
Even though for many Michigan prisoners, this development of caring in their lives is too late to keep them out of prison, it's never too late to foster a caring attitude.
Caring might seem like a simple concept to those outside of prison, but in the prison environment, caring about others opens one's self to scrutiny and ridicule by other prisoners for being 'weak'. When an inmate recently killed himself in my unit I was shocked by the callous response by those around me. I heard jokes about it within hours of finding out and most were ambivalent, carrying the attitude that he should have killed himself.
While many brought this attitude to prison with them, the prison environment actually fosters a lack of empathy. You're taught to be 'hard' and to care about nobody but yourself.
While prison is supposedly meant to 'rehabilitate' prisoners, it is actually a petri-dish for feeding the character deficiencies most bring with them to prison.
Just like those outside of prison, prisoners must be vigilant to work on themselves to develop the qualities they need to be successful, and caring citizens again. It takes work, but anything worth having is worth working for.
Caring is a lot like empathy. It is the ability to feel both the pain and pleasure of others. Caring can be expressed in something as simple as a caring hand on a shoulder, or an offer of praise or condolence, up to altruistic or benevolent actions.
Caring of any form is not absent from the lives of prisoners, but it is uncommon as a general rule. There are exceptions of course, and you might be surprised to see pockets of unusual caring. For instance, Michigan's male prisoners recently conducted a fundraiser to support an organization that assists low-income students in purchasing school uniforms. This fundraiser raised over $12,000 with an additional $15,000 committed by Michigan's female prison population.
Even though for many Michigan prisoners, this development of caring in their lives is too late to keep them out of prison, it's never too late to foster a caring attitude.
Caring might seem like a simple concept to those outside of prison, but in the prison environment, caring about others opens one's self to scrutiny and ridicule by other prisoners for being 'weak'. When an inmate recently killed himself in my unit I was shocked by the callous response by those around me. I heard jokes about it within hours of finding out and most were ambivalent, carrying the attitude that he should have killed himself.
While many brought this attitude to prison with them, the prison environment actually fosters a lack of empathy. You're taught to be 'hard' and to care about nobody but yourself.
While prison is supposedly meant to 'rehabilitate' prisoners, it is actually a petri-dish for feeding the character deficiencies most bring with them to prison.
Just like those outside of prison, prisoners must be vigilant to work on themselves to develop the qualities they need to be successful, and caring citizens again. It takes work, but anything worth having is worth working for.
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
Character Pillars: Fairness
Fairness is an ethical value that is much in dispute and subject to interpretation. It's a tricky concept because each party most often maintains a different definition of fairness.
You might not be surprised that most prisoners don't consider their sentences fair. Since the laws are written to give judges a lot of leeway in sentencing, it's easy to find huge disparities in sentences for similar crimes. Many times judges are sentencing someone who they know very little about. Although there are processes in place to alleviate this problem, it does little to resolve the issue of proportionality.
Likewise, it can be said that many victims would argue that some sentences aren't harsh enough. It comes back to the matter of fairness. Because fairness is such a tricky concept there has to be a balanced approach. The standard of justice needs to include a process, impartiality and equity. Although these concepts themselves can be subject to interpretation.
Author Stephen Covey advocated for Thinking Win-Win (in "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People"). But I'm not sure there is ever a "Win-Win" for either the victim or the perpetrator of crime. There needs to be a fair standard of justice that holds criminals responsible for their crimes, while maintaining a balance of equity that gives room for repentence, restitution, and reconciliation. Obviously, not every circumstance allows for equity of this level, but many do. However, the State of Michigan rarely considers this necessary balance when pursuing a conviction and the resulting sentence.
Fairness in justice is a difficult concept to define, but it's less difficult to treat others with fairness in every day life. When you put others first you'll most likely always come out as fair. Are you fair in how you treat others? What might you change in order to develop the character pillar of fairness in your life?
You might not be surprised that most prisoners don't consider their sentences fair. Since the laws are written to give judges a lot of leeway in sentencing, it's easy to find huge disparities in sentences for similar crimes. Many times judges are sentencing someone who they know very little about. Although there are processes in place to alleviate this problem, it does little to resolve the issue of proportionality.
Likewise, it can be said that many victims would argue that some sentences aren't harsh enough. It comes back to the matter of fairness. Because fairness is such a tricky concept there has to be a balanced approach. The standard of justice needs to include a process, impartiality and equity. Although these concepts themselves can be subject to interpretation.
Author Stephen Covey advocated for Thinking Win-Win (in "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People"). But I'm not sure there is ever a "Win-Win" for either the victim or the perpetrator of crime. There needs to be a fair standard of justice that holds criminals responsible for their crimes, while maintaining a balance of equity that gives room for repentence, restitution, and reconciliation. Obviously, not every circumstance allows for equity of this level, but many do. However, the State of Michigan rarely considers this necessary balance when pursuing a conviction and the resulting sentence.
Fairness in justice is a difficult concept to define, but it's less difficult to treat others with fairness in every day life. When you put others first you'll most likely always come out as fair. Are you fair in how you treat others? What might you change in order to develop the character pillar of fairness in your life?
Thursday, January 23, 2014
Character Pillars: Responsibility
Since responsibility involves being accountable for our actions, purusing excellence, and exercising self-restraint, it's pretty safe to say that many prisoners have not developed responsibility in their lives, either before or during prison. Just observing the behavior of many prisoners will give you an understanding of why so many prisoners re-offend after release.
I recently saw an encouraging local news piece about companies that are hiring ex-cons. Some guys want a second chance and are willing to work to prove that their change in behavior is permanent. When you look around in prison you can usually tell who those men are. There's more to the issue of recidivism than responsibility in a job though.
Responsibility doesn't begin or end at a job. It starts in one's personal life. Being accountable for choices made, and choosing to pursue excellence, and exercise self-restraint with those choices. It's recognizing who you affect by your choices, and valuing yourself (and others) enough to make the right choices.
Most people want to govern their own lives, but when the choices they make negatively affect others to the point of criminality, those people lose the ability to govern their own lives fully. However, I firmly believe that even though I'm in prison and thus unable to fully govern my life, I still maintain responsibility for the choices I make under these conditions. I choose to educate myself more fully. I choose to spend my time on productive activities instead of wasting my every moment in frivolous conversation and feel-good games. I choose to develop the character and spiritual maturity I need to be a better citizen when I'm eventually released. I also choose to maintain a clean bunk area, and dedicated myself to excellence in my prison job, despite the slave wages of $0.84/day.
It's choices like these, the small, everyday choices, that lead to developing the quality of responsibility in one's life. What choices can you make today to build or strengthen the character pillar of responsibility in your life?
I recently saw an encouraging local news piece about companies that are hiring ex-cons. Some guys want a second chance and are willing to work to prove that their change in behavior is permanent. When you look around in prison you can usually tell who those men are. There's more to the issue of recidivism than responsibility in a job though.
Responsibility doesn't begin or end at a job. It starts in one's personal life. Being accountable for choices made, and choosing to pursue excellence, and exercise self-restraint with those choices. It's recognizing who you affect by your choices, and valuing yourself (and others) enough to make the right choices.
Most people want to govern their own lives, but when the choices they make negatively affect others to the point of criminality, those people lose the ability to govern their own lives fully. However, I firmly believe that even though I'm in prison and thus unable to fully govern my life, I still maintain responsibility for the choices I make under these conditions. I choose to educate myself more fully. I choose to spend my time on productive activities instead of wasting my every moment in frivolous conversation and feel-good games. I choose to develop the character and spiritual maturity I need to be a better citizen when I'm eventually released. I also choose to maintain a clean bunk area, and dedicated myself to excellence in my prison job, despite the slave wages of $0.84/day.
It's choices like these, the small, everyday choices, that lead to developing the quality of responsibility in one's life. What choices can you make today to build or strengthen the character pillar of responsibility in your life?
Monday, January 13, 2014
Character Pillars: Respect
Happy New Year! I hope this year brings you many blessings, and hope for a beautiful future. Let's continue talking about the character pillars...
Respect is something we demand from others (whether earned or not) but not something we necessarily require from ourselves. It's easy to show respect to some people, while others we brush off with an air of superiority.
While respect does encompass holding someone in high esteem, it also reflects such notions as civility, courtesy, decency, dignity, tolerance, and acceptance.
Respect is highly valued by prisoners, but mostly on a one-way street. The same man that demands respect from you will the next moment be on the phone cussing out his girl. The same man who demands respect when you bump against him in the hallway ("Excuse me!") is the same man who sees you coming and refuses to move aside to let you pass.
I don't think this duplicitous trait is exclusive to prisoners though. It's easy as human beings to want respect, but fail to give it. Until we get outside of ourselves and start seeing everyone with equal value, we won't build the pillar of respect. It doesn't cost much to give the grocery clerk a smile. To thank the bagger. To help the mother with the crying child. To let someone merge with their car. To speak with kindness to your child. To call your mother. To be civil, courteous, and decent.
We all want respect, so why not give some? It's a rewarding investment, and you just might be surprised how giving others respect makes you feel.
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