Wednesday, September 30, 2020

RBG--Defender of Justice, Courageous Leader, Kind Dissenter

 Although I just started a series on prisoner stories, I'm taking a short break this week to honor the late Supreme Court Justice, Ruth Bader Ginsburg. The news of her recent passing occasioned a far too brief moment of unique, and desperately needed, unity for America. Although she was known as a member of the liberal bloc of Justices, Ginsburg was an icon of justice for all Americans--even for those who sometimes disagreed with her decisions. 

Long before her appointment to the US Supreme Court by President Bill Clinton, Ginsburg was a tenacious defender of women's rights. The most important people in my life have been and still are women (including my mom, sister, and daughters), and I'm forever grateful that Ginsburg fought so hard to ensure their equality in dignity and rights. 

Ginsburg's brilliant jurist mind is seen in her 483 Supreme Court majority opinions, concurrences, and dissents. She fought hard for her judicial decisions, but she always did so respectfully and with a determination that her opponent's dignity be honored. She once stated, "Fight for the things that you care about, but do it in a way that will lead others to join you" (2005 Harvard luncheon). She did just that. She lived out her own advice, embracing the late Justice Antonin Scalia as a very close friend, despite their often polar opposite ideological positions. We could use more examples like that. 

It's easy to find people with whom you disagree. It's also easy to avoid them, disparage them, or insult them, especially from afar. But Ginsburg demonstrated that people can disagree, sometimes on fundamental issues, and still treat each other with kindness and dignity. In her book, My Own Words, Ginsburg wisely advises, "When a thoughtless or unkind word is spoken, best tune out. Reacting in anger or annoyance will not advance one's ability to persuade." Our country's leaders, its protesters, its counter-protesters, and the partisan and divisive media could all make a significant difference in lowering the temperature of conflict in our nation by heeding these wise words.

Our nation is a little poorer today because of Ginsburg's death. Nevertheless, regardless of which ideology we espouse, let's embrace Ginsburg's example and respect each other, speak kindly even when we disagree, and fight for those who have no power to fight for themselves. 

A good friend of mine, who I will dearly miss, also passed away this past week. He was a kind and encouraging person who remained my friend through the worst choices of my life. He was a shining example of self-giving love. Rest in peace, my friend...

On a separate, but also important note, this past week the Michigan Senate passed Clean Act legislation. This package of bills expands expungement of criminal records for hundreds of thousands of Michigan citizens, clearing the way for many with criminal histories to put that past behind them and push towards a brighter future. The legislation has limits, of course, but it is a much-needed move to open up opportunities for hundreds of thousands of people who have been disenfranchised, sometimes for years, by a poor choice or two from their younger years. After Governor Whitmer signs the legislation (she is expected to), the state has two years to implement the changes.

Wednesday, September 23, 2020

Not a Dead Beat Dad

 After experiencing years of emotional and verbal abuse in his marriage, in 2018 Kevin went through a contentious divorce. He turned to alcohol to dim the pain he was feeling, but his ex-wife then used his alcoholism to keep him from his young boys. Nothing in life is more important to Kevin than his boys. Fueled by his growing stress, loss of control over his life, and fear of losing his boys, Kevin assaulted his ex-wife. Alcoholism had not only served to dull his pain, but it also contributed to his poor decision-making in dealing with stress. It's a decision he deeply regrets. He said it does not reflect the person he knows himself to be. 


Kevin was arrested, charged, and convicted of felonious assault, with intent to do great bodily harm less than murder. His sentencing guidelines would have had him serve 5-23 months in prison, but his sentencing judge had a reputation for abusing his judicial powers. Kevin was sentenced to 48-120 months in prison. 

Since coming to prison, Kevin's ex-wife has continued to keep him from communicating at all with his young sons, making this the most difficult part of his incarceration. However, he acknowledges that he needed the interruption prison has provided to gain perspective on his life. Kevin has re-discovered, in prison, the centrality of his faith, the importance of consistency in prayer, and the urgent necessity of maintaining sobriety. He is anxious to teach his sons some of the important lessons he has learned while incarcerated. 

One important period in his incarceration as what he described as a "spiritual awakening" during a Keryx retreat weekend. Run entirely by religious volunteers, the Keryx weekend is an intense weekend of spiritual renewal. One of the most important aspects of that weekend for Kevin was experiencing the compassion of complete strangers. He notes that discovering strangers genuinely care about him, a prisoner, contributed to his renewed commitment to his faith. Even more than a year later, his renewed faith continues to be central to his life. He says the assurance of God's presence in his life, even in prison, has been comforting. 

In addition to this weekend of spiritual renewal, Kevin has benefitted from his time as a Leader Dog trainer and his acceptance into the auto mechanics vocational trade program. He is excited about earning his master mechanic certification and has dreams of one day owning his own repair shop. He looks forward to being able to provide financially for his boys again. His deep love for and devotion to his sons is evident in almost all of his conversations. Mixed into his undeniable love for his boys is an underlying fear that his ex-wife will continue to keep him out of their lives. One of his greatest desires is to be an active presence in their lives. 

Kevin noted how prison has humbled him and given him a clearer vision for his (and his boys') future. He said this experience has made him a "better person," meaning God-fearing, sober, and committed to being a productive person. He has also committed his time in prison to helping other men gain and maintain sobriety. Although he has tried to make amends to his ex-wife for the harm he caused her, he has been unable to thus far. However, he is committed to showing her and others that he is serious about his transformation. 

Kevin is fortunate to have the love and support of a few family members, but he notes that others are conspicuously absent from his life. Losing a beloved uncle who was like a father has been a difficult part of his incarceration. He states that it doesn't yet feel real because he hasn't been able to experience closure yet. Coping with this loss by himself has been difficult. 

While Kevin has clearly benefitted from his time in prison, he believes prison does serve well its intended purpose and is now focused on rehabilitation. He observes that only those who want to change, who are willing to do the work on their own, are going to change. The rest, he says, treat prison like a "boys club" where they take pride in earning the "social stature" of having spent time in the joint. Kevin, though, takes no pride in being in prison. Instead, returning to his sons and being the best father he can be is his number one focus.

Tuesday, September 15, 2020

Prisoners in Profile: My Story

 Soon, I will be starting a series on this blog called "Prisoners in Profile." This series will briefly feature the stories of various prisoners, highlighting who they were when they committed their crimes and who they are today. I will tell each story following personal interviews. My intention with these stories is to demystify the image of prisoners. We are people with stories, often filled with brokenness and bad choices, and some of us are determined that prison will not be the final word in our lives. So, I thought it might be helpful to start with my own story, although in very abbreviated form. 


In 2009 I was a husband and father, experiencing business success, was active in my community, and basically appeared to have my life together. But looks were deceiving. In March my house of cards fell apart, and I was convicted of first-degree criminal sexual conduct involving someone close to me. I had been privately living very differently than the image I was projecting for others around me. Eventually, I was sentenced to 17-45 years in prison, of which I have served 11 1/2 years. 

Several factors contributed to me committing my crime. I believed at the time that I didn't need anyone else, so when I found myself struggling with a pornography addiction, I was too proud to ask for help. Although I appeared confident, I had a deep insecurity that I could never be good enough. This insecurity led me to wear masks, to project power and control, to value only my own views and opinions, and to put my needs above others'. Shame dominated my life, but my pride kept me from seeing this and from addressing that shame. Instead, I deepened it with my choices.

Although I accepted responsibility for my crime right away, I found ways to minimize my responsibility, to "save face" by justifying or explaining my behavior. After a few years, I came to understand the full impact of what I had done, and my sole responsibility for my behavior. Several things influenced this change in me, but one that stands out is Daniel Goleman's book Emotional Intelligence. He recommended telling your story from the perspective of the one you've harmed, and that completely changed how I viewed myself and my crime. I could no longer minimize what I had done. Another impactful author has been Brene Brown, whose expertise in shame research has changed the way I view others and myself. 

Besides these books, discovering the role of addiction in my life has helped me to address the underlying issues that led to my addiction and find healing. I'm grateful for the prisoner who was courageous enough to speak honestly into my life and start me on this journey of recovery. I'm also grateful for my sponsor and accountability partners (mainly prisoners) who have helped me in my journey of healing. These men have discipled me into a deeper, more authentic life of faith. What had once been a part of my "image" has become a deeply held and authentic reality in my life. It baffles my mind that I had to come to prison to experience such rich and deeply rewarding friendships. As a result, I am challenged to be more present and active in all of my relationships. 

What my future holds is uncertain. One of my greatest fears is probably the stigma society will hold against me, despite serving my sentence and doing so much work on myself. Regardless of how I will be viewed though, I have much repair work to do to the damage I've caused. My recovery work is just the beginning of my lifelong obligation to those I harmed, including my former faith community and my family who has been shamed by my crime. 

I'm grateful for Calvin University who has invested so much into my life through the Calvin Prison Initiative. Earning a bachelor's degree is great, but learning how to authentically live out my faith in practical ways, to live life with purpose, and to know that God can and will use even my broken story for His glory gives me hope that my life might still have meaning in the end. Prison took everything from me, but God has used this prison experience to shape me into the man I should have been all along.

Tuesday, September 8, 2020

Critical Ads Reveal Double-Standard

This past week the Michigan Corrections Officers' union (MCO) took out ads in the Detroit Free Press giving Heidi Washington a "Failing" grade in her job as Michigan Department of Corrections (MDOC) director. The ads list several categories the MCO claims Washington has failed in. These include safe staffing levels in prison, employee morale, leadership, communication skills, corrections officer wellness, and transparency. The MCO's ads come on the heels of an open letter they also wrote calling for Washington's ouster as director. 

Former Republican governor Rick Snyder originally appointed Director Washington, but Democratic governor Gretchen Whitmer retained Washington as director because of her successful record of leadership and innovative programs. Under Director Washington's leadership, Michigan's recidivism rate among returning citizens (paroled prisoners) has dropped to historic lows. 

The MCO's criticisms may have some element of truth to them. Operating a department the size of the MDOC is bound to have problems. But these criticisms are, at their core, politically motivated and self-serving. The MCO represents around 6,000 corrections officers. It is their job to represent the interests of those officers. Nevertheless, the MCO's criticisms reflect fear in their declining membership as incarceration rates fall in Michigan. They also reflect double standards. 

The MCO criticizes Director Washington for failing to "hold prisoners accountable for their action." However, the MCO fights to keep officers on the job who have patterns of physical abuse of prisoners and others who engage in regular practices of lying on prisoners in misconduct reports. The MCO also criticizes the director for failing to provide officers with "adequate and effective PPE in many instances" during the coronavirus pandemic. However, some MCO members routinely fail to properly wear the masks they are provided, and the MCO itself fought against mandatory covid-19 testing for its members. 

While the MCO would like to deny that officers are to blame for introducing the coronavirus into prisons, they are the most likely candidates. Prisoners are unable to leave prison, except for emergency medical reasons, so staff members are most certainly the ones introducing the virus into prisons. This is not a criticism of those who do so unknowingly (as we know may happen). The Governor's comments acknowledging this fact are not reckless. They are self-evident. Prisoners already know this fact. 

The MCO's open letter and quarter-page newspaper ads criticizing the director's leadership and asking for her ouster are nothing more than political moves to get rid of a leader who works hard to make Michigan safer. Fewer people going to prison means fewer corrections officers are needed. Let's be honest now. THAT'S the real reason the MCO wants Director Washington gone. 

Governor Whitmer continues to support Director Washington (as she should), despite the MCO's criticisms. Maybe before they start pointing the finger at a corrections director whose vision is a safer Michigan, the MCO ought to clean its own house and stop defending and supporting officers who fail to live up to standards the MCO wants to impose on Director Washington. It's time the MCO recognizes the old way of corrections and policing are no longer tolerable.