During a recent addiction recovery class, called Breaking the Chains, a co-facilitator (Nate) used a rather interesting perspective exercise. He used this exercise in a discussion about fear, anxiety, and stress. I'd not seen this illustrative exercise, but I've seen other similar ones. Perhaps this one was especially relevant because he was teaching a class full of men. Nate wrote on the board:
"A woman without her man is nothing."
After some (manly, of course) giggles and childish comments, Nate asked the class, "Would you say anything is wrong with this sentence?"
Rather surprisingly, nearly all of the responses agreed that this sentence was wrong. I'd expected more toxic male chauvinism that permeates prison. So, Nate asked how we could fix the sentence without changing any words. That stumped the participants, perhaps because many men in prison lack basic educational foundations. In a college class, most men fix the sentence like this:
"A woman, without her man, is nothing."
Of course, as an English nerd, I figured out how to fix the sentence immediately, and I also recognized that the "fix" above changes nothing about the sentence meaning. After some time, Nate invited me to fix the sentence. I corrected it like this:
"A woman: without her, man is nothing."
Two simple punctuation marks change the whole meaning of the sentence. It goes from a derogatory statement against women to a sentence that cause most men to shrug and readily agree. The difference (besides the punctuation)? Perspective.
The prison environment isn't exactly conducive to having a positive perspective on things. Negativity is cultivated and spread like a virus. It's pretty easy to get infected.
Besides the negative perspective we have on our own behavior that led us to prison, prisoners often also have negative perspectives about their life experiences, their experience with the criminal justice system, and their treatment by prison staff and other prisoners. All this negativity produces a culture of negativity that makes it difficult to see things constructively.
Like the sentence above, though, it doesn't take much to shift one's perspective. We cannot change the facts of our situation, but we can choose a positive perspective if we're willing.
Some prisoners in these classes I facilitate have chosen to shift their perspectives. I've heard some express gratitude for prison, stating that it saved their lives. That's a great start for some. But it's easy to get sucked back into the negativity. Having a positive, and healthy, and pro-social perspective takes work. It's work that's worth every bit of struggle, though. It's the difference between being a victim of our life's circumstances and choosing to make the best of every situation, for ourselves and for others.
I'm profoundly grateful for the people in my life who have taught me, and encouraged me over the years to keep a hopeful, healthy, and faith-focused perspective. It makes a world of difference in prison, a place where negative thinking thrives.