If You Did it, then You Own it, no Excuses or Justifications

Throughout my time in prison, I've heard a lot of justifications for people's crimes. Some people claim they have a "victimless" crime, like selling drugs. I guess the people whose lives are destroyed by drugs, and the children who go hungry because their mom or dad spent the grocery money on their next fix don't count. 

I've heard victim blaming, society blaming, racial blaming, poverty blaming, situational blaming, parental blaming...you name it, I've probably heard it. I'm sure the parole board has too. It's one reason they listen carefully for whether or not someone has taken 100% responsibility for their crimes--no excuses. 

To be fair, many of these offenders who shift blame elsewhere have picked up this tactic from society at large. We have a blame-shifting problem in this country. Still, it shocks me to hear people in society making excuses for some offenders (not all, but some, for sure). 

Drug dealers deal drugs because the education system failed them, because communities don't do enough to help the poor, because jobs aren't available for the low educated, or a host of other reasons. 

Gangs (and all the crime that comes with them) are society's fault, too. If only we'd give them something productive to do, educate them properly, teach them a different way. 

Murders are society's fault too. If we just controlled the guns, people wouldn't kill. Unless it's somehow justifiable, like if the victim works for a greedy insurance company. Then the murder is the victim's fault, the company's fault, the system's fault. Or maybe it's the fault of society's failure to manage mental health issues (there's probably some truth to that one!). 

Rape or sexual abuse? It's because of bad parenting, poor mental health help, or some other excuse. Unless the offender is a celebrity. Then the victim should have known the dangers of the celebrity culture. Or maybe it's just a play for money. 

I'm not suggesting we should find someone guilty just because someone makes a claim. We still need "innocent until proven guilty" (which I'd argue we don't currently have). But I'm suggesting that as a society, we can't change behavior when we find justifications for it. Seek to understand what motivated the behavior so we can address the factors that contribute to the problem. But do that while still requiring accountability. 

Let's just start owning our own behaviors. Either we're proud of what we've done (in which case we should own it), or we're ashamed of what we've done (in which case we should own it so we can change). Either way, until we commit to deal only with the truth, we'll just keep finding ways to excuse and justify bad behavior. And we'll keep getting what we've been getting--chaos, brokenness, and a line of hurting people behind us.