Keeping Your Head Down Leads to Life-Changing Lessons

 Entering prison for the first time (and hopefully last!) is a confusing time. This is especially true for those not raised in a culture where incarceration is the norm. Whatever one's personality, no matter how outgoing, the best policy is to "keep your head down." Of course, keeping one's head down does not mean literally looking at the ground. It refers to the virtues of restraint, caution, and prudence. Keeping one's head down means to lay low and not attract attention. It means observing and learning from one's surroundings. Caution is especially useful in prison, but so are prudence and restraint. Many "fish" (those new to prison), and frankly many who have served years in prison, haven't learned to use restraint or prudence. They are reactive to perceived disrespect, and they are slow to recognize manipulative behaviors of other prisoners. These are the ones who look for opportunities to be seen and heard, the ones who want to make a name for themselves. 

Prisoners who keep their heads down are more likely to quickly learn useful lessons. They are more likely to not only survive but thrive in an often chaotic and violent culture that wants to consume everyone in it. It is far too easy to lose one's identity, relax one's morals, and pick up or reinforce bad habits in such a toxic environment. Keeping one's head down, conversely, helps one hold onto important values and behaviors and discard or avoid those that are undesireable. 

The coronavirus pandemic has made everyday citizens similar to "fish." Our world is a different place than it was a year ago. People are more distrustful of others (partisan politics might also have something to do with that), hold vastly different opinions about masks and social distancing, and live with a generalized fear about getting sick or dying, about jobs and the economy, and about what's next after the vaccine comes. 

Some people have chosen to respond to this pandemic by keeping their heads down. This looks different for everyone. Some choose near total isolation. Some choose the middle ground by exercising caution and prudence in their potential exposure. Others, heads up, choose to ignore the warnings entirely. 

The key to living successfully with your head down is that you do not make such a posture your identity. In prison, that means speaking up when it is appropriate. It means handling conflict responsibly, not running from it. It mean consciously choosing to hang out with positive-minded people who contribute to your growth, and you to theirs, not with those who seek your corruption or destruction. 

Yes, keeping one's head down in prison can serve one well. It's easier to be introspective when you are in an evaluative mindset. Rather than simply observing others, you learn to observe yourself. You learn to ask questions about your own beliefs, values, and behaviors. And in that observation and evaluation, you learn to discard values and behaviors that have been destructive. 

Similarly, the coronavirus pandemic has afforded many people the opportunity to keep their heads down, to evaluate their lives, and to make changes if they don't like what they see. Many people have learned to appreciate their spouses and children again. They have come to discover that the rat race they have been in has lied to them about what is important in life. Some have chosen to reset or recommit to their values. They have truly set a "new normal" in their lives.

Prison, too, affords an opportunity for a reset. It provides the time to keep your head down, to evaluate your life, and to refocus on what is truly important. Nobody would choose prison for this purpose, just like nobody would choose a pandemic for this purpose, but why not use what may be the worst year of your life to reset your direction? Why not use this year's suffering to change the focus of your life and to make the years ahead better than they would have been otherwise? Prison or pandemic, they can make you suspicious and anxious or they can give you the opportunity to choose differently, to live a life that matters.