Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Wasted Time or Wasted by Time?

                                                            "I wasted time, and now time doth waste me."
                                                               Richard, in Shakespeare's Richard II IV.4

Prison is full of colloquialisms and pithy sayings which are passed down from generation to generation of imprisoned "sages." Sometimes these sayings carry wisdom designed to help new prisoners, "the smell of McDonald's fresh on their breath," navigate the complexities of prison isolation. Still others offer advice on surviving the dangers of prison or thriving despite the restrictions of being locked away. 

Not all these words of wisdom come in colloquial form; some are simply common sense (which, unfortunately, is not so common in prison). "Mind your own business," "Keep your nose clean," "Brush your teeth before breakfast so you don't offend others at your table," "Clean up your own mess," and "Don't be friendly with the 'po-leese'" are just a few of these common sense words of advice. I've seen many a man in prison land himself in trouble by ignoring these astute directives, and others who have benefited by following them. 

Perhaps the most common saying I have heard in my time in prison has been, "You do time; don't let time do you." Reminiscent of Shakespeare's Richard II quote above, this saying urges the listener to take control over the one commodity that cannot be taken from him: time. Rather than simply existing within the circumstances in which one finds his earthly time clock ticking, one is urged to grasp destiny by the horns and ride it with tenacity and purpose. Undoubtedly, time changes some things, but unless one takes ownership of how he spends that fleeting commodity, he may discover one day that years have passed and he has been standing still. Before long, the practiced routine of prison might spin the clock hands faster, leaving the unaware decimated by its wasting disease. 

Doing time, rather than letting time do you, requires purpose. This can be difficult in an environment that robs one of purpose and that discourages any sense of responsibility and resolution. The hands of time can never be slowed, but they can be put to work, forming one's moral character through the influence of wise authors, repairing one's harms through steadfast commitment to do the right thing, and rescuing others through a dedicated commitment to help weaken the influence of wasted time. 

Time has still robbed me of much of my hair, leaving the remainder prematurely gray, but early on in my sentence I determined to take charge of my time, using it in ways that would not leave me looking back in regret at the years I've spent in prison. I may not be able to do anything about the limitations prison places on my time, or about when my clock will stop its ticking, but I can and I do use this time in ways that I hope will one day make a significant difference in repairing the harms I've done.

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