Prisoner Stories Romanticize Past Memories

In a recent Early Church History class, we were discussing monasticism and its influence on the early Christian Church. As a part of our discussion, our professor raised the question of whether or not people tended to romanticize monasticism. His question got me thinking not only about our tendency to romanticize our memories, but also to romanticize our future. 

I believe it is human nature to remember the past in ways that portray ourselves in the best light and that emphasize the good while minimizing the bad or painful parts of our memory--especially when we are responsible for those bad or painful parts. As I listen to the stories of other prisoners, I am struck by how consistently their stories make a victim out of the victimizer. Sometimes the stories center on the negative social influences that formed a person, or they center on the victim's role in "causing" the crime. Frequently, I hear about social structures that perpetuate cycles of incarceration, particularly among minority groups. I am told it is the fault of the racist social structures that caused someone to pick up a gun and rob or kill someone. Very seldom do I hear authentic stories where the offender takes full responsibility for his crimes. Even when I do, whether intended or not, those testimonies are often weakened by minimizing statements like, "I was immature" or "I had low self-esteem."

I don't intend to diminish people's authentic stories that led them to where they are today. Immaturity, low self-esteem, social influences and social structures, and sometimes even the victims' roles do play a part, sometimes even a significant part, in the stories of many people in prison. But how we tell those stories matters. Truth and authenticity are essential for healing the offender, the victim, and the community that was affected by the crime. That means being willing to say plainly, "I chose to commit this crime." Period. No romanticizing of the details or painting oneself in the best possible light. Nobody will argue that many factors went into making that decision. But taking full, un-minimized responsibility is essential for healing, both for the victimizer and the victim. 

Understanding why one made the choices that harmed others is an important part of changing one's behavior and ensuring one never makes those harmful choices again. Nevertheless, the reason for one's choices should never be used to diminish responsibility or to explain away one's behavior. Lots of people suffer from immaturity, low self-esteem, and negative social influences and never commit crimes. The difference between those who commit crimes and those who don't lies in the choices one makes. That's the bold, naked, un-romanticized truth. 

Next week we'll look at prisoners' tendency to romanticize the future.