A Culture of Conspiracy in Prison

"I swear, they turn the water temperature down in the winter and up in the summer! They know exactly what they are doing, and they do it deliberately to mess with us, to keep us off-balance."

I nodded my head in agreement as the other prisoner continued his rant in the shower. The water was awfully hot, almost too hot to stand in, which is a problem we didn't have during the winter months. As if punctuating my own thoughts, a large drop of condensation fell from the ceiling and landed on my head. Reflexively, I looked up in disgust through the thick steam at the drops pooling across the ceiling. Whatever dirt and grime had accumulated on the ceiling of the YMCA-style shower room had just splashed on my head--I forced the thought from my mind before it turned my stomach. Hurriedly, I rinsed off, dried off, and got dressed so I could leave what had turned into a sauna with the exhaust fans not working properly. Longing for showers with adjustable temperatures, I silently grumbled that I was sweatier now than I was before I even entered the shower. As I left the shower room, I glanced up and noticed the black mold growing on the ceiling outside where the steam had escaped the room. Oh great! I thought, that's probably just what they want--for us to get sick from this black mold now.

Back in my room, and sitting in front of my small six-inch fan to cool off, I reflected back on the shower conversation and my thoughts that followed. It occurred to me that another, more likely explanation existed for the temperature disparity between winter and summer shower temperatures. Later, I confirmed that my thoughts were right. The warmer ground temperatures failed to cool the water coming into the building at the same rate it did in the winter months. 

This series of events and the conclusions I myself formed concerning them caused me to reflect on the pervasive culture of conspiracy in prison. It is certainly true that, at times, corrections officers and prison administrators behave in ways that are antagonistic towards prisoners. A prime example is the frequency with which officers in the control center at the facility where I am housed either intentionally stop a movie right in the middle or fail to start it at all. (The Prisoner Benefit Fund--funded by prisoners--pays for Warden-approved movies at this facility.) This issue has repeatedly been addressed by prisoner representatives in their monthly meetings with the Warden, but the officers' behavior continues. But many prisoners, myself included at times, have a tendency to generalize specific conduct. Not all officers are antagonistic towards prisoners, and events are often simply coincidental. We even tend to personalize perceived slights among each other. 

For example, if I had a dollar for every time I have heard another prisoner remark that the chow hall server gave him the "white portion" (a racial expression meaning a black inmate intentionally served a white inmate a smaller portion), I'd be rich man. The sad fact is that this really happens, by both white and black prisoners. However, the vast majority of the time, perceived (or real) small servings are completely random occurrences with no hidden or personal agendas. I suspect that the same is true for most of the times we prisoners feel like "they" are out to get us. 

And anyway, who is "they"? It's so much easier to cultivate a culture of conspiracy if we can get away with failing to name the conspirator. I suspect that if we tried, our conspiracies would unravel, and we'd be left with nothing but a sense that perhaps life is just not always how we would like it to be--and rather than someone being out to get us, we ourselves would be responsible for how we respond to life's difficulties.